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On the Internet, obedient and sensible children will always have such and such psychological problems.
Will it be a bad thing for children to understand things?
With the parents' questions, let's talk about understanding things.
Obedience is obedience, and understanding is sensible
Many articles analyze, saying that sensible children are distressed, to see other people's faces, become flattering, at the mercy of others, lose the joy of childhood...
But what we're talking about here is obedience, not understanding.
Obedient children are more likely to be distressed.
As the saying goes: children who cry have candy to eat.
But for obedient children, if they want to eat sugar, they can hold back.
Because the mother said that children eat sugar and bad teeth.
I had to listen to my mother.
If he makes a fuss, he is definitely not a good child.
Children with violent tempers who are quiet will be praised by the whole world.
The obedient and easy-going child will accuse him of not being sensible once the whole world will accuse him of not being sensible.
Obedient children rarely take the initiative to make requests, such as seeing favorite toys, beautiful clothes, and delicacies, and rarely cry and cry to ask for it, but will first observe the "eyes" of adults.
So they'll get compliments:
This kid really knows things.
Sensible seems to be not very good,
Such a boast,
It was as if sensible had become a derogatory term for obedience.
In fact, this is a manifestation of low self-esteem.
Over time, there will be cognitive biases that feel that they are not worth it.
This is the harm of obedience.
It is the group of people who grow up to be easily hurt and pua.
Today's understanding is another matter entirely.
What is really sensible
Sensible is not fear, not cowardice, not retreating and sobbing in the face of aggression.
Understanding is not a repression of the child's nature,
Nor is it to make a child compromise,
It is not to satisfy the vanity of parents.
In fact, the degree of understanding reflects the level of mental development of a person.
High mental level, high emotional intelligence.
Which sensible person with high emotional intelligence have had a miserable life?
Therefore, it is not a bad thing to be sensible.
True understanding should be that children can correctly interpret interpersonal rules, not inferiority, not arrogance, and can clearly and simply express their self-wishes when encountering things.
If you want your child to be sensible, at least your parents have to be sensible.
Sensible parents can clearly judge the environment their children face.
Has the child been unjustly suppressed?
Or is it just an inconsequential play?
Children actually know everything, and those bear children who dare to "defy authority" are best at grasping the loophole of this rule of parents.
Bear children will be noisy and get candy to eat, and he knows how to grab the candy of obedient children.
Obedient children, on the other hand, are filled with reverence and fear for the authority of their parents.
In this case, the child is forced to hand over the sugar, and it is not called sensible.
It is a state of oppression, which has nothing to do with being sensible.
Parents encourage timid children to express their needs and tell bears that it is time to stop.
Depending on the child, make different reactions.
Treat children as adults, respect and understand children's demands.
This is a sensible parent.
In fact, many parents are not good at expressing themselves, so they will treat compromise as understanding and pass it on to the next generation.
The maturity of parenthood is to learn to take care of and respect the child's inner feelings.
Sensible, not terrible, do you want your child to be as noisy as a chaos demon king?
Boundaries and rules are constraints, but also protection, its existence to bring a sense of stability and steadfastness to children, we can establish rules, with a gentle and firm attitude.
Parents should understand that everything has its laws, and children are the same.
Tension is measured, there are boundaries, there is a sense of rules, and it is sensible and polite.
Sensible children, in fact, quite good.