The call for a second child has intensified, and many families have begun to actively participate. Their idea is simple, that is, to give the child a companion, to make his childhood less lonely, so that his future is not so stressful. In fact, imagine that two children grow up together, there is nothing wrong with it, but everywhere is full of laughter and laughter.
Story Case:
On the weekend, I had a small gathering with friends and talked about the problem of the second child, and half of the friends decided on the corresponding policies. But in the chat, everyone encountered a new question: "How big is the happy age difference of the second child?" ”。 Seriously, on the issue of age difference, many mothers have not thought about it, so there is no concept.
For this reason, friends have different ideas:
Ya Ya: The eldest is a normal birth, so after one year old, the second child is put on the agenda. The main reason is that I still feel that looking at two children at a time saves time and effort. When both children are in kindergarten, there is plenty of time to be themselves.
JingJing: I have always felt that the age difference between the two children is a little older, so it is more worry-free to take care of. At that time, the boss was already sensible, and he could help take care of the second brother, and also eliminated the need for disputes and quarrels. Therefore, I plan to consider having a second eldest after the eldest goes to elementary school, and I think that the age difference is the best.
Babe: I've heard other friends say before that the age difference between two children is best not to be more than 5 years old. It is often said that if the age gap is too large, they will lose the original intention of having a second child, and they will not grow up together.
All in all, every family has their own plans. There is no accurate answer to the question of the "optimal age difference", that is, when to decide to have a second child depends on itself. Moreover, every parent's definition of happiness is different and cannot be generalized.
Since she decided to have a second child, the mother must be prepared to meet the disputes and quarrels of the two children, and make a bowl of water flat thinking. Whether it is a difference of one or two years, or a difference of four or five years, or a greater age, there will be a lot of friction, which is inevitable.
As a parent, you only need to treat it fairly, don't hold the idea of "the boss lets the second oldest", you can reduce family conflicts. If it is not fair, or son preference, or preference for women over men, it is still recommended that Bao Mom be cautious, after all, after the birth of the second child, there is no room for regret.
There is also a point for parents to understand: no matter what time, the eldest is only a child, and they have no obligation to take care of and accompany the second. Those parents who want the eldest to take care of the second eldest, wake up early, do not add to the burden on the child. Whose childhood wasn't the first? Why let the boss take on more responsibilities that do not belong to him?
The most frightening thing is that the eccentricity and unfairness of parents will not only make the family "wolf smoke", but also not conducive to the growth of children. If you blindly favor the second eldest, the old general feels that he is not pampered, slowly becomes inferior, and the parent-child relationship will not be too good; and the second will become more unscrupulous in the doting of his parents, becoming a proper drop "little bully", which is not good for his future.
As a result, parents should be clear:
There is no most appropriate age difference, only the most appropriate education
1, try to be better for the boss
Smart parents will always retain their love for the boss, and after the second is born, they will be better for the boss and care for their fragile hearts. At this time, the really vulnerable is the boss, he will feel that the whole family only likes the second, there is a feeling of being "exclusive".
If his parents could be better to him, this sadness would gradually disappear. Moreover, the boss who is nourished by love will also give his parents more surprises. He will take care of the second brother with the same heart as the adults, just like his parents love him. It can only be said that love will be transmitted to each other.
2, everything, right things are not right people
The second child with a small age gap will inevitably encounter a scramble for toys or contradictions. Parents should maintain a peaceful attitude, do the right thing, seriously ask the reason for the matter, and give rational advice. In short, not biased, resolutely do not shield anyone.
In their daily education, parents have conveyed a fair and just side. The two children naturally also learned to deal with things fairly, and if they encounter problems later, they can solve them in the same way.
3. Targeted training of two children
If you want children to live in peace with each other and love each other, parents need targeted cultivation and education. For the eldest, he is older, and his parents should focus on cultivating a sense of responsibility and giving him the consciousness of being an older brother or sister.
For the second eldest, it is to cultivate the mentality, after all, his age is not big. When the boss sets a good example, the second brother only needs to maintain a good attitude and learn from the boss at home.
Written at the end: Instead of struggling with the age difference between the two children, it is better to spend energy on the later stage of cultivation. I believe that with the joint efforts of parents, two excellent and friendly children will be cultivated.