Families without a sense of ritual cannot raise children with happiness

Many children care about rituals that are boring to adults.

But it is the boredom you find, but it is the most important spiritual nourishment for them to grow up.

mdash; —Mother Deer

Before, I went to school to pick up my daughter, saw the parents who collected waste at the entrance of the community, decorated the tricycle with colorful balloons, and bought a Barbie doll.

Asked why, the father rubbed his hands and said shyly, "Today is my daughter's birthday, let's pick her up together." ”

Their daughter stepped out and jumped on the tricycle like a bird of surprise.

The family of three went home with a smile on their faces.

Psychologists say that children's childhood needs "four kinds of nutrition": a sense of security, a sense of presence, a sense of accomplishment and a sense of well-being.

In fact, there is another important "nutrition" that is indispensable in the growth of children, that is, the sense of ritual.

In a family with a sense of ceremony, the children raised will be more confident, powerful, and have more energy to make themselves happy and happy.

1

When my daughter was 3 years old, I threw her a birthday party, hung balloons, bought a big cake, ordered pizza, and invited her friends to celebrate.

That year, just bought a house, my husband and I only had 6,000 yuan left in the card.

My husband blamed me for wasting, saying that I couldn't eat anymore, so I wouldn't learn to raise children.

I shook my head and showed him the video from my phone.

Wearing a birthday hat and blowing candles surrounded by her friends, her eyes shone with smiles and radiance, and she looked happier and more content than ever.

As she slept, she wrapped her arms around my neck, kissed me, and whispered, "I love you, Mom." ”

She slept sweetly. I kind of wanted to cry.

Usually, she is a little naughty in the eyes of the teacher, a small rub in the mouth of her parents, and a child in the eyes of passers-by, and at that moment, she feels that she is the center of the world and is unique.

Every child needs such a ceremonial moment, such a unique day.

This moment, this day, she is her own "king".

Children need this sense of self-esteem, pride, and self-confidence more than anyone else, because that is the strength of their growth.

When I was a child, every year for my birthday, my mother would roll out the noodles by hand, stir-fry a few small dishes, and the family would eat noodles happily. Then, dad took me and my mom on a bicycle to the photo studio to take a small family portrait.

When I grew up, I took my husband and children back to my mother's house, and the family looked through the photo albums carefully kept by my mother under the lamp, commented, said and laughed, that was a family moment when we all felt happy and full, and it also made me feel that my daughter was really lucky to be a parent.

Rich children are not necessarily how many gifts to buy and how much to spend, but to give children more sense of ritual in life:

Before going to bed, put your arms around your child and tell a small story, which will become a companion that he will feel at ease for the rest of his life;

Prepare a well-prepared breakfast for your child in the morning, and the love of your parents will make him know how to eat every meal of life.

Dress neatly and punctually to attend the child's parent-teacher conference, performance, graduation ceremony, expectation and attention will give the child a sense of purpose and mission, no need to urge, he will work hard...

Those children who are ignored by their parents are not so lucky.

There is a New Year's Day parent-child activity in the daughter's class, and parents are invited to participate.

Xiaonan's father said that he was too busy at work, where there was time to participate in these messy activities, and his mother said that an idle child had to let two adults accompany him, and sooner or later he would spoil you.

That day, except for Xiaonan's parents, the other parents arrived, and everyone played happily together.

Only Xiaonan sat alone in the corner, stubbornly refusing all invitations.

The absence of parents deprives children of their sense of ceremony, and the inferiority complex seriously hits their enthusiasm. We all want our children to have a happy life, but only children who have been seriously loved will know how to love!

A child who has not been hurt by the heart has been humbly pursuing ethereal happiness all his life.

And those who are valued, cared for, pampered by their parents, and "fed" with a sense of ritual will still have expectations in the loneliness of ordinary days and the tediousness of repeating life, pursue fun, find small happiness, and harvest great happiness.

2

In September, sun li celebrated his birthday, and Deng Chao sent a simple wishing weibo.

Look closely at the picture, but it is full of warmth and ritual.

From January to September, whenever the time on Deng Chao's mobile phone is 9:26, he will take screenshots and save them.

Because, September 26, it is Sun Li's birthday.

Married for 7 years, the couple has maintained a sufficient sense of marriage ceremony.

This blissful interaction also affects their children.

Parents love each other, is the best gift to the child, but also the best sense of ceremony in the family.

The ritual sense of parental love is every child's lifelong sense of security.

A very good friend said: he never felt love between his parents, there was never anything ritualistic at home, his parents did not have any interests or hobbies, every day was to eat, sleep, work, and even have a good chat. Since he was a child, he and his sister have lived in trembling, afraid of saying the wrong word, breaking a bowl will lead to a family war. When he grew up, he did not have a sense of belonging to his home, nor was he willing to communicate with his parents, and he had not returned home for the New Year for 3 years.

Life is always bland and repetitive, even a chicken feather, indifference will only be exchanged for endless resentment, only love can produce happiness.

Parents treat life well, and life can treat you and your children well.

Every classmate who has come to my house will quietly ask, "Why are your parents so good in their feelings?" ”

Yes, my parents' life was full of little moods and little rituals.

They often play Go together on weekends, and Dad will let Mom have a few children every time;

Dad drank and would pour Mom a drink. The mother, who did not know how to drink, smiled and squinted, and poured it back into the father's cup;

Mom's closet is never short of her favorite violet, which her father bought for her.

Behind these small rituals, there is nothing more than the word "heart".

They also have contradictions, but they will reconcile as soon as possible, after all, how can people who are willing to spend time and heart to please be unwilling to patiently resolve disputes?

My parents' relationship also benefited my marriage a lot.

If my husband works overtime, he will bring me my favorite duck neck; if he is on a business trip, I must help him pack the suitcase.

I have quietly observed that whenever I laugh and play with my husband, the daughter next to me will be particularly relaxed and happy.

Parents love each other, is the greatest source of peace of mind and happiness for children.

In this way, children can learn and grow with confidence, and can have the psychological energy of positive life.

When they grow up, they will "carry" the sense of ritual between their parents into their love and marriage, choose a good person, understand love, and copy happiness.

3

Before watching "Parental Love", I was very touched by Anjie, played by Mei Ting.

She took the children and settled down with her husband, Jiang Defu, on a small island.

On that small island, except for the soldiers, they were fishermen, and their materials were poor and their lives were monotonous.

Anjie brought a large box of various glasses - red wine drinkers, coffee drinkers, tea drinkers...

Neighbor Sister Zhang said: "Why do you still use so many cups to drink water?" You have so many cups, you can't finish it in your lifetime! ”

After work, Anjie invited his colleague Teacher Ge to drink coffee in the pavilion in the courtyard, inserted a few red roses in a vase, and lent a beautiful dress to Teacher Ge to wear.

The sun was full and the breeze was moving, teacher Ge took a sip of coffee and said enviously: "You really have a mood here, just like in the movie." It's a good day like that! When will I be able to live like this? ”

What kind of day is Anjie's day?

In fact, it is a ritualistic day.

After having children, the work has to be rushed, the children have to be watched, the husband has to be managed, the housework is done, and how many women have become lifeless yellow-faced women in the oil, salt, sauce, vinegar, and chicken feathers and garlic skins day after day.

Slowly, all we see is the immediate resignation, where is there any poetry and far away?

In fact, it's all because there's a lack of a little sense of ritual.

Fill the water with a nice cup, the taste of the water may be the same, but the mood is different.

Sitting idly in the courtyard with friends, you may see the same scenery, but the feeling is different.

Choose an afternoon for yourself on a day that is simply repeated, and the time may be the same, but the memories are definitely different.

The sense of ceremony is not difficult, it is to give life a little idleness, a little fun, a little thought, a little beauty, but it can greatly soothe our tired, wounded, and exhausted hearts.

Doing something ritualistic is a woman, a mother who loves life and pleases herself with the most adorable appearance.

Liu Ye's French wife, Anna, is also a very ceremonial mother.

During the Spring Festival, she took her children to make dumplings, kowtow to her parents, and posted blessing characters and Spring Festival leagues in her homes abroad.

She would write cards with Liu Ye to her 8th birthday son, hoping that he would grow into a little man.

On Father's Day, she will take her children to the crew to visit the class and celebrate for Liu Ye.

Anna said: "I like to do something ritualistic, it reminds us: time is not wasted, cherish the rest of life." 」 ”

Mom has a sense of ceremony in the family, the children will not be too bad.

His son Nuoyi and daughter Nina are versatile, well-behaved and kind, and often work with their mother to deliver New Year goods to widows and widows.

Psychologists say:

Those families that can inherit the "sense of family ritual" from generation to generation have a happier parent-child relationship, and the child's sense of belonging, security, and purpose is very high, and even healthier and better academic performance.

How can a child who grows up in a family that is full of rituals, full of emotions, and is taken seriously by his parents, not have the ability to create happiness, and does not have the ability to grow positively and self-motivated!

4

Writer Wang Xiaobo said:

It is not enough for one to have only this life and this life, but also to have a poetic world.

In the hustle and bustle of the day, only the sense of ritual can give life more meaning and some poetry.

The sense of ceremony can allow children to harvest a life experience worth remembering in the years that are closest to us.

The sense of ceremony can make children have courage, confidence and motivation in the happiness created by their parents, and run to their own lives.

Only families with a sense of ceremony can have happy, plump and bright children.

Be a good parent, but you can't be lazy!

(Editor-in-Charge: Li Donghai)