When the three words "adolescence" are mentioned, many people will naturally associate words such as "rebellion", "poor management", and "emotional fluctuations".
After the child enters puberty, the conflict between many parents and children begins to intensify, and how to rationally face this adolescent conflict is a problem that parents need to think about seriously.
To some extent, parents have actually wrestled with the child since the age of 3, and adolescence is just facing a child who is becoming more and more physical and psychologically strong, that is, the communication object of the parents is becoming stronger.
In the past, family conditions were not good, young people would go to towns or more developed areas to work hard, then they would leave their children in their hometowns and hand them over to the elderly for discipline, and a large number of left-behind children appeared.
There are also many cases of intergenerational education for a variety of reasons. But what we're talking about today is about the impact of intergenerational education on children.
Because according to incomplete statistics, about one-third of juvenile offenders each year are from families with intergenerational education, which also makes many young parents aware that intergenerational education may not be suitable for this society.
However, do not say one-sidedly coddling, will ruin the child, in fact, if you use the right method, you can achieve the goal of three generations of win-win.
If you have seen the elders with children, it must be described in one word - coddling; yes, because the older generation pays great attention to future generations in their minds, and because of their own age, they are very happy to see the family scene of incense flourishing, so generally their children and grandchildren are very important.
Can scolding education solve the problem of parent-child communication? Many mothers' ways are wrong at the beginning, when the child loses her temper, reasoning is completely unworkable, and then worse is that she has adopted a scare method, mandatory education children not to cry, scolding education is completely fruitless, but will hurt the child, and even teach the child some bad ways to deal with interpersonal relationships.
In real life, the education of many mothers is groundless scolding, cathartic criticism, hysterical dogmatic accusations, so that children's young hearts are hurt, and even let children live in inferiority but completely unaware. This is also a drawback for most parents.
The growth of children is the process of continuous improvement of self, and some personalities such as self-confidence, self-reliance, and self-improvement will gradually form.
Parents can not meet the needs of the baby without restriction, nor can they blindly blame and criticize, so the way parents educate their children is crucial.
When it is perceived that the child closes the door to the parents, it shows that the parents' acceptance of the child has been very small, so little that the child is no longer willing to speak the truth with the parents, because the parents refuse to listen, the opening of the mouth is criticism and preaching, so that the child always feels that he is criticized, and the words that are not accepted will make them feel bored, so parents must learn to convey true feelings to the child through language, and parents must send the signal of acceptance to the child in order to let them open their hearts.
In addition to language, parents can also use body posture or non-interference to express their acceptance of their children, and even sometimes do not say anything, just listening can also express their acceptance of children, but the most important thing is to express their acceptance of children through language.
When the child clearly says his own problem, parents do not give opinions or directly judge the child's ideas as soon as they come up, say more vague response words, let the child try to find a way to solve the problem, the purpose is to guide the child to say more ideas, expand their thinking, which is to let the problems that belong to the child to let them solve themselves.
There is a basic idea in the Satya treatment model: the problem is not a problem, how to deal with it is the problem. Therefore, the parent-child conflict in adolescence is not a problem, and the resolution of parent-child conflict is a transformation and growth for parents and children.
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