#情感点评大赏 #
Recently, deng lun's incidents have been exposed one after another: Deng Lun was fined 106 million yuan for tax evasion, a number of brands terminated cooperation with Deng Lun, and Deng Lun's studio Weibo and Douyin accounts were blocked. I am afraid that Deng Lun's acting career will come to an end from now on. In one day, from the top star, become an inferior artist. It can be described as a disgrace, which makes people regret.
It is the duty of every citizen to pay taxes according to law. Deng Lun's deformed mentality of knowing that the law is against the law, not taking the dignity of the tax law in his eyes, and not putting the authority of supervision in his heart should be condemned.
Weibo CCTV News pointed out that Deng Lun ignored this "deformed mentality" of authoritative laws. Not a star can cover the sky with one hand, look high above, and be equal before the law. As a public figure, celebrities should be more decent, positive energy, and take the right path in order to gain a foothold in the show business circle.
There was a basketball referee who exploded: Deng Lun was indeed out of shape and exploded, and it was surprising that his quality as a public figure was so poor.
Seeing this, people can't help but think, what kind of family is behind such qualities as stars?
Some people reported that Deng Lun's parents are soldiers, and children born in soldiers should inherit the good qualities and noble moral sentiments of their parents.
But why would Deng Lun be so self-righteous and know the law?
？
In fact, Deng Lun's parents are soldiers with special status, and they are too busy with work to accompany their children for a long time. Therefore, Deng Lun grew up with his grandmother and grandfather. Grandpa was a university professor and lived in a very orthodox family background.
Here we will discuss the pros and cons of "intergenerational education".
Generational education does more harm than good.
Chapter 3 of Gou Hongjuan's "Intergenerational Education: Intergeneration Without Separation" Why Do Grandparents Work Hard but Are Not Flattered?
Here's how to analyze:
Because the values, lifestyles, knowledge structures, and educational methods of the ancestors will be more or less different from modern society, and they must also have the characteristics of the elderly in physiology and psychology. Therefore, intergenerational education will inevitably have some negative effects on children's development. And overall, the negative impact is greater than the positive impact.
(2) Improper protection is not conducive to children developing good character and habits
Some grandparents care for their children because they love their children too much, resulting in their children's shortcomings not being corrected for a long time, and eventually developing bad behaviors and personalities. Children under the protection of grandparents are prone to two extremes: one is extreme timidity, unsociability, taciturnity, poor adaptability, introversion, excessive protection curbs the development of children's independence and self-confidence, enhances the child's dependence, easily makes the child more squeamish, leading to the extension of childlike psychology: the other extreme is indulgence, imperiousness, difficult to manage, outgoing, such children are prone to "self-centered" consciousness, the formation of self, willfulness and other undesirable personalities. ”
This can explain the character characteristics of Deng Lun's inferiority, shyness, coldness, and politeness before the fire, and after the fire, he became confident, his face was full of happy smiles, and even indulged in boldness, lawlessness to the point of tax evasion. We really want him to be just a child, telling him that "when you do something wrong, you must learn to admit your mistakes, and if you know your mistakes, you will change them or be a good child." "But he is already an adult, and if he breaks the law, he will be punished accordingly." The principle of being a person should be instilled in the child by parents from an early age, and perhaps this is the personality defect brought to the child by the lack of parent-child relationship from an early age.
Shen Jiahong's "Native Family: The Psychological Motivation That Affects a Person's Life"
01 Theories of each family: how the family affects a person's life
An individual's early experiences have been associated with his later growth
Very important and even decisive role.
Classical psychoanalytic theory holds that a person's personality structure is basically completed before the age of 6.
Communication analysis theory holds that a person's experience before the age of 6 will become the script of his later life, that is, after a person is 6 years old, he is playing out his life before the age of 6.
It is conceivable that before the Deng Lun fire, he was also snubbed, and when he was snubbed, he was prone to extreme reactions, such as bursting a foul mouth, because a sensitive string that touched his nerves was touched. It's like he was "snubbed" by his parents when he was a child, and he did not have the company of his parents for a long time, and his heart was very lonely. The shadow that the absence of parents brings to the child's heart cannot be erased for a lifetime.
Therefore, parents must take time to accompany their children no matter how busy they are at work, otherwise it will be too late to regret it when the child has an accident.
Chapter 4 Who Says Grandparents Can't Bring Kids Well
Parents are the child's first teachers,
Parent-child education is irreplaceable by intergenerational education. No matter how busy the work is, parents should also strive to create opportunities to educate their children. It is necessary to make full use of the respective advantages of generational rearing and parenting to create a harmonious and open family environment for children.
Generational relatives can also bring out good children.
(1) "Generational parents" allow children to have love and family responsibility.
If you want to make your child a qualified talent, you must make her (or him) responsible from an early age, striking a balance between personal development space and personal responsibility. --Dennis. Wetterley
Of course, the children brought by grandparents are not all bad.
Deng Lun has been sensible since childhood, has excellent academic performance, and has relatively generous conditions at home, and he can register for whatever class he wants.
With his own efforts, he was admitted to the acting department of Shanghai Opera Academy, and officially entered the entertainment circle in 2012, until he became a popular student. All this, in addition to talent and acquired efforts, is also due to the grandparents who grew up with him and the parents who provided superior conditions.
However, it is far from enough for parents to provide superior conditions, and children need the company of their parents. Children who are not accompanied by their parents will feel insecure inside, and their parents are just an empty existence. Over time, there will be a gap, and the parent-child relationship will be difficult to repair.
Does anyone believe that the more you fall as a child, the more you don't fall easily when you grow up. People always have to make mistakes in order to grow up. Maybe this time Deng Lun really had a long memory, but it was too late.
Grandparents with children are always afraid of children falling and dare not let go. If a child does something wrong, the grandparents will protect the child on the grounds that he does not understand things when he is young, and when he grows up, he will understand, resulting in the child's repeated teachings and problems not being corrected in time. We would rather have more frustrations and more punishments when we are young, rather than seeing our children grow up to make a big mistake and cannot make up for it.
In fact, intergenerational education is not all bad, and there will be many problems with young parents with their children.
Nowadays, most of the young parents are busier, and the elderly have more time, so let them help with their children, and young parents will have time to devote themselves to their work.
A stay-at-home mom with children alone, who can understand her hardships and helplessness. How annoying it is to be alone to take care of children around the clock and not have their own space. If there is help from the elderly, the situation will be much better.
The elderly help to take children, which can reduce the burden on parents, reduce the fatigue of young people with children, and is more conducive to the healthy development of children
。
Conclusion: Intergenerational education has advantages and disadvantages. Only by combining parent-child education with intergenerational education, with parent-child education as the mainstay and intergenerational education as a supplement, can we cultivate more sound children.