Children's rebellion is actually caused by improper early education. In the process of educating their children, many parents are particularly concerned about two words - obedience.
When the child cries, the parents say "obey and do not cry"; when the child can walk, the parents say "obey and do not run"; when eating, "obedient to eat"... And when the child does not cooperate, the parents say in a loud voice: "Why are you so disobedient?" ”
Why are parents so keen to make their children "obedient"? In fact, it is a manifestation of laziness.
Because the child is small and some things cannot be understood for a while, the process of taking care of the child is more laborious. In order not to consume energy, parents will expect their children to obey. When children cannot meet the expectations of parents, some parents will take tough measures to force their children to obey.
In this way, parents eliminate the need for explanation and the educational process is much easier.
In the third grade, he is already in a rebellious period, and throughout the child's growth, he will experience a total of three rebellious periods, a rebellious period of early self-consciousness formation at the age of 2 to 5, a second stage of rebellion at the age of 7 to 12, and a rebellious period of adolescence at the age of 13 to 18.
In the third grade, he is in the second stage of rebellion, this time the child, in the self-awareness growth confused stage, he often his self-awareness has grown, has his own ideas, but his autonomous personality is not fully grown, at this time need parents good guidance and help, more communication.
At this time, parents should accompany and participate more in their children's life and learning, so that he can form a good habit. This is to say that the ordinary child, to let him understand a reward and punishment of the clear truth, that is, we usually say to hit a stick to give a sweet date, and the reward and punishment must be clear, 100% implementation in place, the penalty should be punished painfully, and the reward should be rewarded to his heart.
Don't be ambiguous, or his entire adolescence will be very difficult to communicate. The second stage of rebellion is very important and must be taken seriously. Otherwise, the third stage of rebellion will be completely impossible to communicate.
When children are still children, they are physically immature, their muscles are imperfect, their strength is limited, and they face existential threats. That is to say, they must rely on their parents to survive, which is also the premise that children have to obey their parents.
When parents are angry because their children do not meet expectations, in the eyes of the children, this is an existential threat, and the nature of seeking advantage and avoiding harm is so that the child will choose to compromise to temporarily stay away from the threat.
The child's compromise does not mean that they will give up the right to try, they are waiting for the opportunity, when their bodily functions have a breakthrough, the desire hidden in their hearts will be ignited again, which is the necessary process for them to test their own strength.
For children in the third grade, after the adaptation period of the first and second grades, their physical development has also ushered in the first peak. At this time, the child has made new progress in both experience and strength. This experience and strength needs to be tested, so the child will challenge the authority of the parents.
If in early education, parents are mainly guided, the child's performance in the rebellious period will be more peaceful; if in early education, the parents are mainly suppressed, and the child's performance in the rebellious period will be more irritable.
The child's rebellion is actually to reflect the sense of value. In the process of growing up, the more the child's sense of value is reflected, the more stable his behavior is; conversely, the more intense his behavior is.
As the saying goes, "Good medicine is good for the sick, and good advice is good for the ear." ”
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[Author of this article]: Secretary Zhang of Orangutan Village
[Original Statement]: Some of the content of the article is excerpted from the Network, if there is infringement, please contact the author to correct and delete.
[Column Introduction]:
"Orangutan Ball Has Something to Say" is a parent-child education column of the new media channel under "Orangutan Ball Village". We aim to help more families improve their parent-child relationship and let the flowers of the motherland have a good childhood.
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