Hello everyone, today I want to talk to you about the problem of children's tantrums.
A buddy has no children, but very like children, the new year when the mother with the sister's children to the buddies' home as a guest, buddies like it, every day will buy him good food, play with him. But after a few days together, I found that the child was either tantrum or on the way to lose his temper, which caused the buddies a headache and even gave him a certain amount of pressure.
The child had a very bad temper, and if he didn't like it at the slightest, he would lose his temper and cry with all his might. Usually the brother's sister never trains the child, everything is reasonable or discussed with him, the brother-in-law does not care much about the child because he is busy, even if the child loses his temper, he can be coaxed.
Many people will say that children are older, but there is an old saying in China called "three years old to see the old", 6-year-old children, grumpy, unlimited temper tantrums, we must pay attention to, find ways to guide children to change the status quo.
Dialectically treat the child's tantrum
We need to know that the child loses his temper indefinitely, and the temper is very large, which shows that he is not suppressed. Think back to the children who were very sensible when they were young, are they really happy? Are they repressed? From another point of view, children lose their temper and are also a good opportunity for us to educate our children. First maintain a reasonable concept of this matter, so that you can calmly and comprehensively educate your children.
Sometimes the two children taught by the same parent have completely different personalities, so people have innate attributes, and each child is different when they are young, some noisy, some quiet. Parents should make reasonable guidance according to the child's personality, and first analyze why the child has such a big temper. This is the first thing we want to do to change the child's bad temper, and it is also an important thing to do.
In the education of the family, do not ignore the child's ability to learn and imitate
Some people say that parents are the best teachers for children, and this statement is undoubtedly true. Some parents go to learn how to educate their children, dress well and eat well, use good learning, and some parents will go to class to learn how to educate a child well. But many people ignore their role models and their children's ability to learn and imitate.
Just like the beginning of the article said, the sister never trains the child, gives the child the best thing, encounters things and discusses with the child, gives him reason, sees that this should be the envy of many people such parents, and should also feel that the children taught by such parents should have a good personality. But she only paid attention, did not lose her temper with the child, did not pay attention to it, and should not be in front of the child, nor should she lose her temper with her lover. Subtly, the child will learn that you lose your temper with your lover, coupled with the fact that the father disciplines the child less, and usually the child is the "ancestor of the family", which is really self-respecting and lawless.
This situation is definitely not an isolated case, educating children, the focus can not only be on the child, but also in many ways. Sometimes you think that the educational methods and lifestyles you give your children to your children are completely different from those of your parents when you were young. But the child grows up and still has the same personality as himself. This is how children not only accept your active education, but also silently imitate your words and deeds.
We must make clear rewards and punishments, and establish a correct concept from an early age
For the education of children, it has always been very distressing, too much education is afraid that children can not bear it, too much spoiling and fear of children becoming more and more unsightly. For children who are afraid of temper, half of the reasons are too small to know how to control emotions, and the other half is that his cognition of emotions is not formed. Then at this time, parents need guidance (never, never, never- let the child lose his temper, no matter if you don't ask for a while, don't have such a mentality). Giving children a reasonable reward and punishment system can help children form cognition very well. Why is it necessarily a reward and punishment system? Instead of countering violence with violence, nor is it justified by xiaozhi (my sister is completely emotional and reasonable about her children).
For thousands of years, human beings have always had a reward and punishment system, when they were young, they did not write homework penalty stations, there were small red flowers in the examination, and after work, they had to be fined for being late, and there was a bonus for doing a good job.
In fact, the reward and punishment system is more applicable to children. The child does not understand so many truths, but he understands what happiness and sadness are, just like a child who cannot speak yet, he will cry when he wants to drink milk, and after feeding, he will be quiet. The usual reward is to make the child more able to remember when he is punished, and it is better not to be rewarded when he is punished, so he will find a way to get rewarded, rather than being punished.
For the child's tantrum, it is more important to distinguish between rewards and punishments, and the child's tantrum is actually normal, but the tantrum must be punished (here is not to say that it is necessary to scold the child), to let him know that it is not advisable to lose his temper. But the punishment alone is not enough, you have to give the reward at a reasonable time, the reward must be greater than the punishment, let him taste the sweetness of the reward. The reasonable time is to give enough rewards the next time he does not lose his temper in a similar situation, and then move to understand the reason when he rewards again.
Teach children to vent and regulate their emotions correctly
Emotions are something that everyone has, whether it is an adult or a child, but adults are more able to control their emotions, reasonably vent and regulate their emotions. Of course, some adults can't regulate their emotions, self-repression, and over time, the personality will be very strange.
Isn't that scary? So it is important to teach young children to vent their emotions and regulate their emotions. When I was with my niece, I found it particularly difficult to help a child regulate emotions, he is not like an adult, he can self-regulate, coupled with the help of others, you can quickly recover emotions.
To help the child regulate his emotions, you must first get his attention, because when the child loses his temper, he is in a state of self-isolation, which makes it impossible for others to enter. It's important to try to follow him first, not to yell at him all at once, to punish him all at once, and when he's out of that state a little bit, try to ask about him! When he can say it to you, you're halfway there. Then there's communication plus punishment, leading him to say the reason for being angry, why he has such a big temper, and then making a corresponding solution, storytelling is a good solution (not telling a fairy tale, telling him what you want to say in a story way). But don't forget to punish (don't be too cruel, that's your own child)
The child's growth road is relatively long, which requires the patience and care of every parent, and also requires parents to educate their children in all aspects, especially the cultivation of children's personality.
For the matter of throwing a tantrum, the first thing is to treat it reasonably, and it cannot be handled coldly and violently, and it cannot be completely followed by the child. Secondly, we must do a good job of example, do not let the child learn their own bad emotions, in front of the child and the family to show the good things, the child will also learn the same. Then the growth of children, we must do a good job in the reward and punishment system, there are rewards and punishments, more able to let children understand what is right and wrong, better than reasoning.
Finally, it is to help children regulate their emotions and vent their emotions, and don't forget that parents are their children's teachers and guides.
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