Wen/Shiyi
Figure/Originated from the network
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It is often said: "It is better for a woman to look beautiful than to live beautifully." "I didn't think so before, because in many people's cognition, if a woman can have a beautiful face, the road of life will inevitably be much smoother."
But later, I experienced more and found that if a woman has a beautiful face in the air, the light will be delicate and weak, there is no independent personality and thought, and in the end, she will only be eliminated by society and hurt in her feelings.
My friend Xiao Meng is undoubtedly the most beautiful of the many friends I know, and every time I walk with her, I will unconsciously have a sense of inferiority.
However, although Xiao Meng is good-looking and very popular with the opposite sex, her feelings have not been smooth, and the boy who interacts with him is as short as three or five days, and as long as three months, he will break up with her.
Later, Xiao Meng finally found a boyfriend Xiao Yang who was willing to spoil her and tolerate her. I thought that she and Xiao Yang would enter the palace of marriage, but I didn't expect that they would break up after less than a year of dating.
After the breakup, Xiao Meng was devastated, and all day long was a variety of phone calls, sending messages asking Xiao Yang not to break up, but Xiao Yang's attitude was very resolute, and he also frankly said that "I have had enough with you."
It turns out that although Xiao Meng is beautiful and has a gentle personality, in the relationship, she will always be insecure, too clingy, and circle around each other all day, and also require the other party to spend a lot of time with herself.
The reason why Xiao Yang insisted on breaking up with Xiao Meng was because Xiao Meng was not only clingy, but also particularly dependent on him, and he needed his help in almost everything, and he knew that if he continued like this, Xiao Meng would never be truly independent. Therefore, Xiao Yang hopes that Xiao Meng can try to be independent without him, and not rely on others for everything.
Later, under the persuasion of friends, Xiao Meng also understood her problem, and she began to try to be independent and no longer rely on others for everything. Finally, after half a year, Xiao Meng grew a lot. And she and Xiao Yang are also reconciled, and the two just got married last year.
After getting married, Xiao Meng has her own job, doing what she likes, and no longer surrounds Xiao Yang all day, a friend party, she said to us: She is very grateful to Xiao Yang for breaking up with her that time, otherwise she may never be able to really grow. At the same time, she also realized that the best way for a woman to live is to do two things.
First thing: reduce dependencies
Mr. Yang Dai once wrote: Everything is best not to expect too much from people, everyone has their own difficulties, really can not count on too much, counting too much is easy to be disappointed, on the road of life, we are all lonely walkers, such as people drinking cold and warm self-knowledge, the real can help you, always only yourself.
In the world of feelings, everyone is an independent individual, many things you can only rely on yourself, as Mr. Yang Dai wrote, often to count on others, it is easy to be disappointed.
When you rely on others for a long time, even if the other party loves you again, many times there will not be much time and energy to meet your requirements.
So, you have to learn to rely less on others, you can't give up self-improvement because of the other person's promise, if you lie in the comfort zone forever, you will never be able to grow.
Second thing: Lower expectations
It seems that we always expect too much from the people we care about, always hope that the other party can be excellent and self-motivated, and can always notice our emotional changes, which is enough to gain insight into our inner world.
But how is it possible, no matter how much you love you, you are just an ordinary person, he can't be perfect, he can't do everything to make you satisfied.
So all you have to do is lower your expectations and don't put too much pressure on him. You know, the most important thing for the opposite sex to get along is to be able to get along comfortably and make people feel relaxed and happy.
If you always impose your own needs on the other person, one day, the other party will be bored with you and will always want to get rid of you and stay away from you.
Therefore, in the world of feelings, the best way for a woman to live is to reduce dependence and reduce expectations.
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