Text: Shi Yi long affection
Not every emotion has a destination, I will interpret your heart.
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01.
Is it really that hard to reject others?
For many, the answer is indisputably yes.
In life, I will always hear many friends complain that as long as someone asks for help, they will agree to it, even if they are reluctant in their hearts, they will still help others to do their best.
When asked why, they either couldn't find a reason or excuse to refuse, or they were in the way of face, or someone else had helped them so much that they had to agree.
Perhaps in the eyes of many people, it is a very honorable thing to often help others and take everything to themselves, which is nothing more than their own bitterness and tiredness.
As everyone knows, a person who does not understand rejection will become a good old man in other people's population, others will find you as soon as they have something, you can't do it occasionally, people not only do not understand, but also deliberately talk behind their backs.
That is to say, the more you do not refuse, the more you are consuming yourself, and in the long run, not only will you not get the respect of others, but you will also make others more intense, calling you around, and pushing everything to you.
As a result, things are done well, others will not remember your good, will not appreciate you, things are not done well, others will only complain about you, saying that yours is not.
02.
No matter how good the relationship is, you must know how to stop at the right time
Some people, some things can obviously be refused, but they are hesitant, and finally reluctantly agree to it under the soft and hard bubbles of others.
Although people said thank you and kept saying good things about you, your heart was still not happy.
So, why not reject it outright when someone else makes a request?
A friend is like this, often embarrassed to refuse in the face of other people's requests, even if his own ability is limited, he will still agree to help.
One after another, the people around him looked for him as soon as there was something, either to bring a meal today, or buy something tomorrow, and later, even the things that people did not want to do at work were pushed to him.
He could have lived very easily, just living and working step by step every day, but because he would not refuse, he was physically and mentally exhausted, and his interpersonal relationships became more and more tense.
In fact, there is nothing wrong with occasional mutual help between relatives, friends or colleagues, but if you only pay for a long time and do not ask for it, others will ask you for help without a bottom line, ask you for help again and again, and even take your pay for granted.
Therefore, no matter who you get along with, no matter how good the relationship is, you must understand the principle of moderation, refuse if you are unwilling, refuse if you can't do it, and refuse when it is not conducive to yourself.
03.
When a person knows how to "refuse", he wins
There is such a sentence on the Internet: "Rejection is an art, the core is to save the face of both sides, smart people reject others, but also give people the feeling that I want to help you, but in fact I can't do anything." ”
It is deeply believed that a person who knows how to reject others will not only reject others' requests appropriately, but also win the respect of others.
You don't have to worry about rejecting others, and you don't have to think about what others think of you after rejection.
You just need to know that rejecting people who are inching forward is defending your rights; rejecting people who have bad relationships is actually saving you time and costs and reducing ineffective social interactions; rejecting people who don't respect you will make people look at you differently and dare not easily offend you.
In short, learn to reject you and you win.
Bi Shumin once said: "Rejection and survival are all rights, you have to learn to say no, you will make yourself more comfortable." ”
No matter when, no matter what kind of relationship, do not get in the way of face reluctantly agree to others, straightforward rejection is far more useful than euphemistic shirking.
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Author: Shi Yi Changqing, a southern girl who loves words and lives hard, every word has its meaning of existence, hoping to give you strength and help you be strong.
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