1. Child: "What is a honeymoon for a mother?" Mom: "It's fun that I went on a trip with your dad after I got married." Child: "Did I go?" Mom: "Of course I went."

1. Child: "What is a honeymoon for a mother?" Mom: "It's fun that I went on a trip with your dad after I got married." Child: "Did I go?" Mom: "Of course I went!" Child: "How did I not know?" Mother: "You were still young, your father took you there, I brought you back." ”~~

2, friends said: "Cool is handsome and serious, proud is handsome and lonely, beautiful is beautiful and upright, riot is evil, cute is silly and cute, cute is stupid and serious." I asked, "So I am. Friend: "You're ugly one B." "Ma Tam, you are exhausted!

3, married to his ex-wife for a year, do not know what reason, has not been pregnant. Later, after seeing the family again, they also had children. On this day, my son asked me, "Dad, what is resignation?" I said, "To quit is to be doing a job and to say that I will never do this work again." "When I practiced in the evening, I promised my son to rest after practicing for the last time. But one of his tones in the middle was not right, so I corrected it and asked him to pull it again. He said, "Didn't you say you'd rest after pulling this time?" I'm going to resign! ”

4, with a girl I met online to open a room, after the incident, I went to the bathroom. When I came out, my sister sat down on the bed and said, "I guess you're a doctor?" I said, "Well, you guessed it. Sister: "I still know what you do." An anesthesiologist, right? I said, "How do you know?!" Sister: "Because of the whole process just now, I didn't feel anything at all." ”

5) A few men talk about their own tigress together. At this time, a man said, "Don't you have the time to be in charge?" The other men asked in unison, "Do you have one?" Man: "Of course I have, my wife must ask for my consent to buy clothes." Other men: "Why?" Man: "Because if she buys light-colored clothes, I can't wash them."

6, the door of the bathroom at home is made of plastic steel. The door was broken and stuck there, so my dad called the master who sold the door: "Master, my steel door (anus) is broken." Master: "So, or shall I call you a 120?" ”

7, soy sauce and vinegar fight, attracting a group of onlookers. Vinegar said triumphantly, "Haha, my brothers have come to help me!" Soy sauce said dismissively, "Who said they were here to help you?" Vinegar said, "They're all here to make soy sauce, who do you say they're helping?" ”

8, answered a strange phone call, a listen is fraudulent, I said: "Who are you?" Liar: "Don't remember me?" Can't I hear my voice? Me: "Sorry, I didn't hear it!" Liar: "It's really a noble person who forgets things, you think about it again." I said, "Are you that so-and-so?" The crook: "Yes! I said, "Okay, it's your turn to guess who I am." "Toot! honk! honk...... The crook hanged up!

9, brother-in-law went to Vietnam on a business trip, and when he came back, he brought me a little high-end coffee. I often drink something at home, and my mother saw it and said, "This thing is so bitter, why do you like to drink it so much?" I said, "Mom, people drink coffee not because of bitterness and sweetness, but about the mood." "Mom: "Don't think that I don't understand anything when I'm old, people drink that is called mood, you hold a toothbrush plastic cup every day and sit there and drink heavily, what kind of mood is it..."

10, the brother-in-law is an ordinary worker at Foxconn, but a few days ago he suddenly bought a Land Rover. When my mother saw it, she asked, "Whose new car are you driving?" Brother-in-law: "I bought it for 200,000 yuan!" Mom: "Where did you get so much money?" Brother-in-law: "When I booked the car, I paid 100,000 yuan in the early stage, and then put the salary and the year-end bonus together at the end of the year, and I can get it done!" "You're a big liar, didn't you say that you and your ex-wife had no contact for a long time?" If you don't have contact with her and don't have a close relationship, can she pay you a hundred thousand yuan? "Brother-in-law:" ...."

11, today ate a fish throat stuck a fish thorn, the pain is unbearable and went to the hospital. The doctor looked at it with a serious look and said, "This has to be operated on." I asked him timidly, "How much is it?" He said, "About 5,000 pieces." "5000 blocks? I nervously "grunted" and swallowed a mouthful, but I didn't expect to swallow the fish thorn into my stomach! So I smiled and left under the doctor's regretful gaze.

12, just today to send the customer away, the father called and said: "Hey, what is the son doing, where?" I replied, "Just finished delivering the customer, where are you Dad?" Dad: "Well, yeah, where am I?" I panicked: "Then you tell me, what's around you?" Dad: "I'm on a TV in front of me, next to your mom." "I...

13, today the company came to a woman said to the front desk: "Help me find a person who can do housework, it must be a man." Front desk: "Then do you have a lot of family, can you tell us about the business you are mainly responsible for?" Woman: "There is no one to do with me and my niece." The woman said, "Not much, just everyday." However, be diligent and still listen to me. "Oh!" The front desk thought for a moment and then said, "So is it better to find a husband?" Woman: "You can find a husband!" ”

14, today with my wife to go out shopping, my wife is a little abnormal, I asked her: "What's wrong with you today?" I didn't step on your foot, so why do you always say in public that I stepped on your foot? Wife: "Well, the first time I wore such expensive shoes, do you think you'll show it to one of you?" "I:

15, today is the wedding anniversary, my wife and I go out to eat. She asked me, "Ahhh! How can you goug your nose and smear it under the table?! I asked her, "How do you know?" She said, "This is a glass table."