1 Completely overwhelmed by the two quarrelsome thunders in the car, female: "Who the fuck are you touching?" Male: "Who the fuck touched you!" The woman said a very lethal sentence, a car full of people

1 Completely overwhelmed by the two quarrelsome thunders in the car, female: "Who the fuck are you touching?" Male: "Who the fuck touched you!" The woman said a very lethal sentence, and a car of people all held out internal injuries: "Do you fucking want to face it!" I look like this and you don't touch it! "I want to laugh, but I don't dare laugh!"

2 Guan Yu tugged at Liu Bei's sleeve and said, "Big brother, I don't want to go on a business trip with the military master anymore, he always farts." Liu Bei was furious: "Ridiculous! You are a tiger general, the knife cuts the axe and chisel are not afraid, can a few farts collapse and kill you? Guan Yu: "The eldest brother doesn't know that the physical injury is still secondary." The key is that every time he finishes playing fart, he frowns and shakes the fan to pretend to be innocent, and the people around him look at our faces and think that I put it. ”

3 Watching the European Cup, my idol came on, and he said to his wife next to me, "This is my idol, he plays football well." The wife said, "How does your idol look like a fool?" As soon as I heard it, I angrily said, "Your husband is a fool." ”

4 I remember once taking a bus and heard a father next to me say to the son next to him: "Son, do you still want to eat instant noodles?" "Don't want to" "Then when you get to your grandmother's house, you see your mother responsible for holding your mother's leg and crying to let her go home" "Well, then what is your responsibility for Daddy?" I saw the man's face visibly twitch and said slowly: I am responsible for holding your mother's other leg and crying.

5 Small colleagues meet the object for the first time, I said you must say less and do more, appear calm, he remembered. When I came back, I saw him hanging his head in despair. Q: What's wrong! The colleague said angrily: It's not listening to you yet! I opened the door for her, poured water for her, and picked vegetables for her. I said, "You're doing a good job!" Colleague: I thought so too, it was very happy to see her, but she was very hot and sweaty, and I said: Do you need me to help you undress?

6 One day the father and his six-year-old son were watching a TV series, and suddenly there was a kissing scene on the TV, and the father cleverly asked the son to pour a glass of water, and the son obediently went. Soon after, the TV began to kiss again, and the father asked the son to pour the water, and then the son went to pour the water upside down, and then said to his father curiously: "Rake, are you thirsty when you see people kissing?" ”

7 At dinner, my daughter-in-law burned sauerkraut fish, which tasted excellent, and I ate a lot, but she didn't eat it, saying she didn't want to eat it. After dinner, she went online, and I quietly approached to see what she was doing and saw her typing the word "sauerkraut" on the web page. I thought to myself, my daughter-in-law is so good, I must want to learn how to cook more delicious! Then I saw all the words: Sauerkraut has grown hair, what will happen when you eat it?

8 Chinese americans and Jews drink together, three flies flew into their drinks, the Americans had an important drink, Chinese drank it without paying attention, and the Jew grabbed the fly and shouted, "Spit it out!" You spit out your drink! ”

9 "I heard zombies only eat brains" "Are you sure you're safe"

10 My wife has not believed that my "first time" was given to her, the reason is that it is physiologically impossible to prove, women can, I said can be a fart, a few hundred dollars "repair" surgery is done, the wife said: Hundreds of dollars? Is it good to find acquaintances with more than two thousand? ...... Nyima, is Lao Tzu green?

11 At noon, a student rode an electric car in the community, and the electric car was equipped with a subwoofer, and everyone understood the movement. The friend was just about to scold, when the third floor stuck out his head and shouted at the bear child, "Boy, is your father at home?" "Not there" "What about your mother?" Are you there? "Didn't come back at noon, is there anything wrong?" "I fuck Nyima, don't sleep at noon to get Nyima a subwoofer, and then don't shut down Lao Tzu to go down and smoke you!"

#Funny Moment##Humorous Funny Paragraph##Today's Jokes##Funny##搞笑段子 #