1. When a local tycoon was examining his body in the hospital, the doctor told him that he had cancer. Drinking more soup can live longer, and since then, his wife has given him a bowl of his favorite drink every day

1. When a local tycoon is examined in the hospital, the doctor informs him that he has cancer. Drinking more soup can live longer, and since then, his wife has boiled him a bowl of his favorite bone soup every day. Later, when his wife died, the daughter-in-law of the local tycoon was responsible for boiling bone soup for him to drink. I don't know why the daughter-in-law can't get that taste like this. For this reason, the local tycoon is big and yardy to his daughter-in-law. The daughter-in-law couldn't help it, and when she was boiling the soup this day, she put half a bottle of pesticide into it and planned to poison the local tycoon. As a result, the local tycoon tasted the bone soup. He cried and said, "That's the smell!"

2. Quarrel with my wife, my wife is angry that she wants to run away from home, I sit on the sofa and watch TV and ignore her, she packs her bags and pulls them to the door, and then goes into the room to get something... When I came out, the luggage at the door was gone, and the wife said coquettishly: "If you don't want people to walk in, just say it, why hide the luggage." "I... Just then, the son and daughter came in from outside and said, "Mom, don't go yet, the luggage has helped you get to the side of the road." ”

3. After the sister-in-law graduated from the flight attendant school, she felt that she was too tired to be a flight attendant, so she went to a foreign company to work as a secretary for the chairman. She has a strong sense of superiority and is particularly demanding to find a boyfriend. The mother-in-law introduced her to many boys, but the sister-in-law was not satisfied with any of them. The sister-in-law said: I have two conditions for finding a boyfriend, the first brother is a doctor, the second is a teacher, and the others are exempt from talking. Later, the mother-in-law took a lot of effort, and finally found a qualified one. The sister-in-law asked what kind of work it was, and the mother-in-law said: "People are teachers at medical universities!"

4. The girlfriend has poor learning, but because she is beautiful, the teacher will push!! Recommend her to be a flight attendant. She did not live up to the expectations of everyone and successfully became a flight attendant. Yesterday she came back from a flight and was cleaning the cabin. At this time, I saw a girl sitting in a first-class seat. Girlfriend: "Miss, the plane has arrived, don't you get off the plane?" Woman: "Don't worry, I'm waiting for my husband!" The girlfriend was very surprised, the plane landed, the toilet had long been closed, there was no one, and hurriedly asked: "No one?" The woman said without lying, "In my suitcase!" ”

5. Today I made a big table of delicious food at home, called a family, and prepared to be eaten. Suddenly there was a knock at the door, and I opened the door to see, Bob, who often delivers takeaways. With a lot of big river crabs in his hand, he stood outside the door and kept hanging around there. I said, "Bob, you're mistaken, I didn't order takeout." Xiaoming said, "Sister, I know this!" This is your friend who asked me to show you, and this is the delicacy she is going to eat tonight! Her phone is broken, and she can't send a circle of friends! Hurry up, I've got to fucking run a dozen. ”

6. Looking for relatives and friends everywhere, borrowed more than 20,000 yuan and bought a JEEP Wrangler. During the National Day holiday, I plan to drive my little nephew to the river to fish. Before leaving, the little nephew went to his sister-in-law's makeup table and took a Dior lipstick. Curious, I asked him, "We're going fishing, what are you doing with lipstick?" The little nephew clutched lipstick and said, "I'm going to catch a mermaid with lipstick to come up and make you a companion, you single dog is so pitiful!" ”

7. Dad's company went bankrupt and I didn't have the money to spend it. I had to find a place to work, the company that went to work had to wear their uniforms, in the winter, I was confused and put on the autumn coat and coat and went out, when I went to dinner at noon, it was full of red, I was wearing a black coat alone in the queue to eat, when it was my turn, my aunt gave me a full spoon, and my colleague said: It seems that my aunt is the person who treats you as a management person.

8. Today I went on a blind date at the dumpling shop owned by my cousin, and the man was a very honest and wooden man. We ordered a plate of dumplings, embarrassed not to know what to say. In order to break the embarrassment, I picked up a small dumpling, ate it, smiled and said: I have loved dumplings since I was a child. The man also smiled and asked: How many can I eat at a time? I'm kidding: 50 starts. Honest man: Boss, here are two more pounds of dumplings!

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