Text/Maple Small
Graph/Source Network
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In love, there are often people who have such a question: Why do I pay so much for him, and he still does not fall in love with me?
In fact, this sentence is wrong from the beginning, love is never an equivalent exchange, not how much you pay, how much you will return.
If the love you give is not what the other party wants, then the final result will only be counterproductive, the other party will not only not love you because you love him, but will feel suffocated because of your love, feel a heavy psychological burden, because he can not return this affection.
But this truth is not understood by many people, they always consider the problem from their own point of view, once the payment is not rewarded, they will habitually carry out moral kidnapping of each other.
Some will even hate because of love, and in turn blame each other: I love you so much, why don't you love me?
In this way, this love has completely deteriorated. Love that does not ask for anything in return is selfless, but human nature is selfish, and when it is not reciprocated for a long time, it will generate hatred and even retaliate against the other party.
Therefore, whether it is in film and television works, or in real life, we will always see many extreme cases of "destroying if you don't get it".
Such people may not understand the true meaning of love from the beginning, thinking that how much they love someone, how much the other person will love themselves. But love is not a one-man one-man show, not your wishful thinking can get the ending you want, after all, the two loves are a minority, love and can not be the norm of life.
The truth seems simple, but it is really difficult to do. How many people can let go of people who don't love them? They always think about trying a little harder, paying a little more, and the other party will always see it.
But the truth is that from the beginning, this puts oneself in an unequal position with the other party, and the more humble you are, the more you are looked down upon by the other party.
The Japanese writer Haruki Murakami said in his novel "South of the Borders West of the Sun": "If I can't catch him, if I can't keep him, I will let him fly, because he has his own wings and the right to choose his own sky." ”
In his opinion, if the person you love doesn't love you, do the word "let go" and you win.
Don't try to touch someone who doesn't love you, lower your posture, humble love, not real love, just the pity and charity of the other person.
Since you can't stay, let him go, it's not your own fate, then you don't have to force him to stay.
One: In the face of people who don't love you, let go can be liberated
Really good love must be two-way, how much you love each other, how much the other party loves you. He will not let your affection be wrongly paid, and he will not let you grieve without any heartache.
And those who do not love you, no matter how much you give, he is always indifferent, if you accept you because of the touch, it is tantamount to a deception, rather than cheating, it is better to directly refuse.
In this case, there is no need to dwell on it anymore and leave with dignity, not only the smartest, but also the most far-sighted.
Many years later you will understand that we will meet many people in this life, but there are only a few who can really accompany us to the end of our lives. Most people, just passers-by.
It is not worth the loss to mess around their own pace because of some passers-by, and only a decent farewell can make it easier and easier to live.
Xu Zhimo once said: I wave my sleeve and do not take away a cloud.
It's a dashing, an attitude, and a pattern. In feelings, only those who can afford to put it down can live out the posture they should have.
Second: Cherish it with your heart if you have a chance, and give up decisively if you have no chance
The relationship between people is not as complicated as we think. If there is a fate, after many years of going around, they will still meet again; if there is no fate, even if it is close at hand, there will be no intersection.
If this is the case, why should you force it, cherish it with your heart if you have a fate, and give up decisively without a fate.
As Haruki Murakami said: Since I can't keep him, I will let him fly, he has his own wings, and he has the right to choose his own sky.
Everyone is an independent individual, has their own want to love and really want to pursue life, if you really love him, then complete him, otherwise bitter entanglement, in the end will only hurt others and hurt themselves.
In american writer Margaret Mitchell's novel Gone with the Wind, the heroine, Scarlett, for many years, mistakenly believed that she loved her neighbor Ashley.
Later, I learned that what she loved was not Ashley, but a touch of obsession in her heart.
Because she voluntarily confessed and was rejected by Ashley, she was unwilling to do so, and for many years she has been trying to prove one thing: she deserves to be loved by Ashley, and as long as she does not give up, he will always love herself.
But the truth is that not loving is not loving, and it is not at all reluctant. And she didn't love him as much as she thought, what she loved was just her own imagination.
Everyone should be responsible for their own life, distinguish between the heavy and the light, and find the center of gravity of life, so as not to let the true heart be wrong.
In his novel "Round Dance", Yi Shu compares life to a movie, in which each of us is an actor, playing our own roles, and the order of appearance is first and later, and there are many scenes.
Yi Shu mentioned in the novel: "In the journey of fate, everyone's performance time is stipulated, it is predestined in the dark, and when it is time to leave, no matter how reluctant it is, it must also leave the scene." ”
Only when it is time to leave can we make room for those who come later, otherwise the more entangled, the more hurtful people and hurt themselves.
If the person you love doesn't love you, then be dashing and decisively let go, you have no fate, and it is meaningless to ask for it. Only by decisively letting go and pursuing the love that truly belongs to oneself is the smartest and most patterned.
END.