The Aphorisms of awakening says:
"Unsatisfactory things are often eight or nine, but they can be the same as people."
We will find that the more people reach a certain age, the more they do not like to talk to people about their hearts.
It's not that there's no heart that you want to say, but you don't have the desire you want to express in the first place.
Because I know that most of the complaints and even accusations are useless, it is better to control myself in time and restrain myself.
In this way, we can not have false expectations from the outside world, and we will not fall into a pure delusion and cannot extricate ourselves.
Haruki Murakami said: Where there are people who like to be lonely, but they don't like disappointment.
The more disappointments people encounter, the more they naturally become mature, because the more disappointments there are, the more they think, and the more they can naturally learn to let go.
Don't be afraid of loneliness, just as everyone lives alone, control your own rhythm of life, find the direction of life, you will get better and better.
1: Control your emotions
Everyone's growth is a process from naivety to maturity.
In this process, we will inevitably have more or less emotionalization, and this emotionalization will be different because of each person's personality.
But we must understand that anyone who wants to achieve something in life must tell himself: control his emotions.
Being able to control your emotions means that you have mastered the basic prerequisites for success.
"Self-destruction of Wujiang" records Xiang Yu's last battle, he was besieged with dozens of people, had to flee to the Wujiang River, could have successfully escaped by boat, but at this time Xiang Yu was already discouraged, had the idea of self-abandonment, and finally chose to kill himself in Wujiang.
If you look at Xiang Yu's choice from an emotional point of view, it is always easy to give people a tragic feeling, feeling that this person is really a person in temperament, with pure ideals and firm beliefs.
From a rational point of view, we will inevitably think that Xiang Yu's failure lies in his inability to control his emotions.
Because he does not know how to control his emotions, in the face of his failure, he is not looking for a reason, not looking for an exit, but blindly resigning himself to his emotions and thoughts.
Indeed, when we understand the life and deeds of Xiang Yu, we will know that this person is so great at his work, that he is talented and intellectual, that he will not become enlightened, and that he does not know how to blame himself when he makes mistakes.
Letting go of one's emotions and not knowing how to examine oneself is, in the eyes of some, a manifestation of a free and true disposition, which is undoubtedly extremely dangerous.
Because a person who is truly courageous and powerful relies on his own comprehensive intelligence, cultivation and pattern to live out the realm of life, and live out the true freedom and true disposition.
This kind of freedom and true disposition is supportive and defensible.
On the road to success, the biggest enemy we encounter is often not due to our lack of opportunities or lack of qualifications, but to the lack of control over our own emotions.
2: Control your words and deeds
Only when a person has a peaceful and stable mood can he gradually remove the clouds and see the blue sky in the accumulated efforts.
Doing things, with good mood, can be conserved, can go far.
Being a person, with a peaceful mood, can be at ease and happy.
Then we can bring our innerly balanced emotions into our words and deeds in real life.
Aurelius said:
"If you're comfortable with anything that's going around, it's caused by your feelings, not the things themselves.
With the adjustment of feelings, you can cheer up at any moment. ”
It can be seen that only when a person has good emotional control ability can he create a benign behavior in real action.
Why should a person control his words and deeds, the truth is that life is in movement, living in experience.
If we can't guarantee even the minimum of behavior, how can we guarantee that we can live happily?
Therefore, to control one's words and deeds well lies in life, to achieve self-awareness, self-discipline, self-love, and self-reliance.
Life is endless, the movement is not stopped, just as the so-called "peach and plum planters get the truth, plant tribulus terrestris get its thorns." What kind of seeds we plant, what kind of fruit we will reap.
If a person has good life behaviors and habits, then they can also harvest what they want in perseverance.
Haruki Murakami said:
"When I'm being blamed by others, or when I feel wronged, I can always run farther than usual."
Man is both lonely and not lonely.
Loneliness lies in the fact that the joys and sorrows between people are not connected, and the place where we are not lonely is that we cannot be isolated from real life, and a person lives completely on his own.
This requires us to be able to find our own position, determine our roles, and then control our words and deeds and do a good job in terms of human feelings, life and work, and emotional relationships.
Exercise more, exercise more, think more, reflect more, be more conscious, and be more self-disciplined.
Good habits, not afraid of more, good words and deeds, not afraid to do.
3: Control your own life
Fan Zhongyan said:
"Don't be happy with things, don't be sad with yourself."
Perhaps, this sentence is the best annotation to controlling one's own life.
People live a lifetime, there are gains and losses, there are joys and sorrows, all kinds of messy things, all kinds of indescribable moods, are all in the experience of life.
Control your emotions, control your words and deeds, be calm, idle, emotionally stable, and behave properly.
In this way, in the process of knowing yourself step by step, understanding yourself, and improving yourself, you can gradually grasp your own life and control your life.
Life is only once, and it is only once that we treat it casually, or with our hearts, depending on what kind of cognitive level we are in.
But this realm of cognition depends entirely on how we think, manage, control, lay out, and create our own lives.
-end-