One day, 1. A woman went to the bank counter to withdraw 700 yuan and was ridiculed by the bank employees. In desperation, the woman said to the bank staff, then help me withdraw 3 million. Job

One day, 1. A woman went to the bank counter to withdraw 700 yuan and was ridiculed by the bank employees. In desperation, the woman said to the bank staff, then help me withdraw 3 million. The staff took the savings card and saw that the balance in the card was suddenly not calm, and the woman's card had more than ten million deposits. Subsequently, the attitude of the staff changed greatly, the title changed, and respectfully gave the woman 3 million. After the woman took out 700 yuan, she deposited the remaining money into the card. The staff did not dare to say anything, they could only do it, this is a VIP, ah, can not afford to offend.

2. One night I was drunk and took a taxi back to the public security department, the fare was 18 yuan, 50 yuan for the driver, the driver saw that I was drunk, he looked for me for 2 yuan, I was drunk and looked at the driver, the driver asked me: How much did you give me? I said 100 yuan, and the driver immediately said: Obviously it is 50 yuan. I looked at him again, and he looked for 30 bucks. I was still drunk and misty looking at him, an hour later the driver cried, I thought I have time anyway, just in time to wake up in the car, the province's home wife did not open the door and was scolded!

3. The country uncle goes to the bank to withdraw money, and the bank manager asks the uncle to sign the word. Uncle Rural took the paper and signed his name upside down. The bank manager said: Hey, you countryman took the paper down! What a convex bun that can't even sign a word! The country uncle said: What happened to take it down? I also signed the name backwards. The bank manager blushed at the sight of it, and signed it upside down, and it was no different from the one who was signing it! Instantly admired, the hero does not ask the birth!

4. A small couple who have known each other in college, finally ushered in graduation, the two have just started working, very hard, the salary is very low, the two live together in a small apartment without heating, when taking a bath at night, he always rushes into the bathroom, he thinks, when she goes into the bathroom, at least warm one or two degrees. He couldn't give her a comfortable life, couldn't take her to a fancy restaurant, couldn't even buy her beautiful clothes, but at least, he could give her 1°C love. Later, she installed a bath bully and dumped him...

5. In high school, the school has a particularly large shop, which is complete and can be charged with phone bills. Once there was a shutdown I went to that charge, the result of charging for half a day can not be charged, the boss apologized, returned the money and sent some small snacks. After I came out, I found that the original people were moving, I was the number of the Unicom, and I returned the snacks to the people with a red face. Several bosses also laughed and said: "It's okay, the snack you hold, anyway, it's about to expire..."

6. The sister-in-law gave up her high-paying job and came to the front desk of a shopping mall opened by her husband. On this day, a young woman with a child asked: Can this child put it at the service desk to see it? Sister-in-law: Oh no, we don't have this service. Young Woman: If he goes in and steals food, I don't care. The sister-in-law looked helpless and had to agree. However, the child kept clamoring to go inside to find his mother. The sister-in-law asked: What do you like to steal the most when you go in? Child: Figs. Sister-in-law: If your sister lets you in today, will you still steal food? Kid: Not today! Sister-in-law: Why? Child: Because my mother said that I had diarrhea, and if I stole the figs, I would pull it even harder.

7. When I was young, I usually played the role of "mother" at home, and my mother played the role of "daughter". Mainly because whenever the farm season is busy, I will go to help the adults do what they can after school! Later, dad took it for granted, and let me do heavy work like fetching water and carrying corn bags! I asked my father with a bitter face: "I am a girl, why do you want me to do these heavy jobs, my mother has never done it!" Dad didn't want to say: "Your mother is so thin, what can you do, you see you are fat, some are strength, children, you have to exercise more!" ”

8. In order to marry the girl he loves, Xiao Hu goes to the big city alone to work hard. Five years later, Xiao Hu returned from working in the city. Eye-opening Xiaoling said to Qingmei Zhuma: "Modern technology is really incredible, it is said that everything on the ground can be clearly seen from the artificial satellite." Xiao Ling blushed shyly and said, "Then I will never go to the back mountain hand in hand with you again." ”

9. When I was young in the countryside, I always liked to set off firecrackers during the New Year, and I liked the crackling sound. But that day was different, and a beautiful little Lori came up and said, handsome man, how old are you? I said I was ten years old. Little Lori said, you lied, you are obviously five years old. I said: Yesterday I said I was five years old, you said you are also five years old, this is fate, and then I put all my firecrackers on, today I am not deceived!

10. The family introduced me to a good family girl who has been single for 30 years and has a stable job after graduating from undergraduate. On this day, a couple of buddies asked me to go to Miami for a drink, and I took my new girlfriend with me. Just sat down, the surrounding booths successively sent a few bottles of xo and a few packs of Chinese, and left without saying a word. A few buddies said slightly sarcastically: I haven't seen it in a few days, and the people are quite wide! I said with a puzzled face: I don't know! Then the girlfriend who was sitting next to me said: "That, these are my friends." I'm thinking about whether or not to break up with her now.

11. After graduating from college, Fa Xiao and I worked in the same company. After discussion between the two of us, we decided to share a house near the company. When I first went to visit the rental house, I thought it was not bad. Later, I found that the toilet was leaking! Fa XiaoBao complained: When can we live in a more expensive shared house? I replied: Quick, don't worry, as soon as next month can be, I remember next month the landlord said to raise the rent...

12. Inside RT-Mart's toilet, I suddenly heard someone talking: Dude, is there a hand paper? I immediately rummaged through my pockets: I'm sorry, there's none. Stunned for a moment, the man asked again: Brother, is there a small piece of newspaper? I still said helplessly: I'm sorry, this is not, I just came to urinate. After a few seconds, a 10 yuan sheet was stuffed through the crack of the toilet door: Brother, can you help me change it to 1 piece? Then, I gave him 10 coins and ran away!