1, the company has a female colleague who looks very beautiful, I chased after me for three months, but she still rejected me, and put down the harsh words: If you pestered me in the future, I will tell my sister to go, and I will not do it later

1, the company has a female colleague who looks very beautiful, I chased hard for three months, but she still rejected me, and put down the harsh words: If you pestered me in the future, I will tell my sister to go, and you will eat fruit in the future. I asked her, "Who is your sister?" The female colleague said: The female boss of our company is my sister. I thought about it carefully, since I couldn't take down my female colleague, then I took down her sister, so I made a major decision that day and began to pursue the female boss, and the next day, I would ask the female boss every day for warmth, and everything cared about her, and within a month, the female boss was touched by me and promised to be my girlfriend. Today, the landlady called the female colleague to the office and said: From today on, he is your brother-in-law. When the female colleague heard it, she stomped her feet in anger. Then, I walked out of the office and vaguely heard the landlady say to the female colleague: Don't think about hitting your brother-in-law in the future. Hey hey, it's so deeply hidden in merit and fame.

2. I remember when I was in junior high school, I took Chinese class that day. The teacher wrote a lot of questions on the blackboard, ready for the students to do. Just ask: Which classmate can come up and do it? It was at the same table that they were sleeping. So I touched Kaijie and whispered, "The teacher asked you to go up and wipe the blackboard." At that time, Kaijie was confused, stood up and walked up. While walking the teacher, he boasted: The performance is good. So I saw Kaijie pick up the board and wipe three times five divided by two and wipe all the questions that the teacher had written for half a day. I didn't know why I went down, and suddenly the whole class was confused, and then there was a thunderous applause.

3, my wife opened the photos of me when I was a child at my house, and I was shocked and had nothing to say. He said that I had sharp-billed monkey cheeks and was incredibly ugly, so I was angry with her for several days. Slowly, as long as she wasn't happy, I would make her laugh with the pictures. Now, she often looks at me, at our son, sighs and frowns! Who has the heavens spared?

4, this morning the stomach is a little uncomfortable, just played the landlord in the toilet, invited people nearby to play together. I greeted and asked, "What are you doing?" Don't have to go to work? The other person: "This is not at work." Me: "Do you still fight the landlord at work?" The other party: "It's willful." Me: "Doesn't anyone care about you?" The other: "No one can arrange me?" I've been playing games every day since I started! Me: "Wait a minute and get this month's salary, tomorrow it won't be used." ”?

5, when I first got married, my husband looked forward to going to bed early in the dark every day, and my wife was very happy every day, but after a long time, I found that my husband was looking forward to the day not being dark every day. After work are very late to come back, the wife thought of a way, stipulated that every day at the latest around 22 o'clock to go home or close the door, this husband is happy, every day back late, anyway can not enter the home, directly do not go home. The wife felt that this was not OK, the friend gave her a trick, changed to 22 o'clock do not go home I opened the door to sleep, this worked, the husband came back early every day.

6, I am 26 years old this year, but I still do not have a girlfriend, my friends who go to the position and some of the children will play soy sauce. My colleagues in the unit have long been paired, and I am still alone. Our supervisor looked at me pitifully and transferred me to the department where the girls were together! I was particularly shy after I went, and recently my courage had just increased a little, and the supervisor transferred me back. I asked why, and the supervisor said, "Well, the loss of personnel after you went is too serious."

7. I work at Zotye headquarters, because of my strong work ability and deep love from my female boss, I was promoted to manager after only three months of employment. This month, I was paid 50,000 yuan, so I invited my brother-in-law and sister-in-law to dinner together. It was the first time I had dinner with my sister-in-law since they were married, and I toasted politely to my sister-in-law. The eldest brother-in-law stopped me: "Oh, you can't drink, drinking is not good for the baby." I asked, "Huh?" Only a month after getting married? "The eldest brother-in-law waved his hand in a hurry: No, no, no, I am the baby."

8. When the buddy and his wife were first together, they had a dog and had been raising it for five or six years. Some time ago, this dog was accidentally lost, and he didn't find it everywhere. In order to comfort his wife and raise another one, just yesterday his dog ran back by himself, the family was very happy, the two dogs were kept together, and as a result, today the dog could not be found again. The buddies thought that the dog might have seen the family adopt another dog and sadly ran away from home. The dog came back this afternoon, followed by a stray dog with a big belly.

9. When I was in elementary school, I liked to bully the female table the most, this little girl has few eyes and is easy to bully. Once when I was playing on the playground, this little girl ran to me in a panic and said, "There is a snake in the women's toilet, you are bold, go and drive away, please, I am still holding back!" I laughed loudly: "The guts are so small, they are all scared silly, stupid, look at me." "I walked into the women's toilet on my toes, and I didn't see the snake, only the class teacher squatting in the pit...

10. After retiring, the old man became a game anchor on a certain platform and realized the second entrepreneurship of his life. Usually busy day, at night used to go downstairs to the park for a walk. These two days, the mother-in-law is relatively idle, so she accompanies the father-in-law to take a walk together. At the beginning, the old man was particularly touched: Alas, it is good to have you with you! As a result, for several consecutive days, the mother-in-law and mother-in-law returned with a full load of large bags and small bags, and the old man couldn't stand it, saying: I think it is better to go for a walk alone, or you are resting at home!

11, last week my wife and I were fired at the same time, in order to pay off the mortgage, I decided to touch c. After waiting for a while, a car finally came. I was just about to rush up when my wife pulled me aside: "Husband, you're drunk, let's go home, shall we?" I looked at my wife's sincere eyes and had to give up, looking at the roaring train I hated and said, "This time count you lucky." ”

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #