Two goods daughter-in-law, online shopping Fortune Cat ????, have to buy the largest one. I said you can't buy such a big home, you have to buy it. Later, I learned that she tied her phone to the arm of the fortune cat

Two goods daughter-in-law, online shopping Fortune Cat ????, have to buy the largest one. I said you can't buy such a big home, you have to buy it. Later, I learned that she tied her mobile phone to the arm of the fortune cat, and it was 20,000 or 30,000 steps a day... A fourth tree has now been planted in the desert.

2. When the factory went to work, the pursuit of a beautiful front desk clerk in the factory was rejected, and his heart was very lost. Xiaomei, a girl who had a very good relationship with the workshop, said that she wanted to comfort me and invite me to drink. Ordered a few small dishes and a few bottles of beer at a food stall in the evening. After eating, Xiaomei suddenly said that her stomach hurt and couldn't stand it, it must be that the food was not clean, and immediately sent her to the outpatient department of the industrial area. The doctor checked for half a day, and did not find a reason, so we had to observe it in the outpatient department.

3, girlfriends go to a unit to interview for the position of secretary, after layers of screening, finally only the girlfriend and the other two remain. Went to meet the boss, only one problem came out and decided to stay. Boss: "There is a cup of coffee on the table, what is the easiest way to prove that you and I have drunk this cup of coffee?" One person said, "The boss drinks first, and I'll take another sip." The girlfriend said, "Find another cup and divide it into two portions." The last one said a word, and the result was hired, she said: "Boss, don't wipe your mouth after you finish your coffee!" ”

4, with the rich woman for three years, recently she inexplicably wanted to break off relations with me. Not only did it kick me out of the villa, but it also took back the Maserati that was given to me. I pulled my luggage onto the bus, and a 90-year-old man came up halfway through. I saw it, and quickly let the uncle sit down, he was very grateful, and said that he wanted to worship with me. I immediately thought of a sentence: do not ask to be born on the same day of the same month of the same year, but ask ... I was immediately frightened and quickly got out of the car.

5, remember I used to drink with a buddy, that buddy was very arrogant! A few little pulled the brother away and beat him up, only slightly injured, my brother fell well, went home and stabbed him in the thigh, and then went to the police. In this way, those few were all in prison and lost a lot of money. I still think he's a character!

6, the sister left her brother-in-law at home, came to her mother's house to eat and drink for half a month. Today I went to visit my brother-in-law's house, and mushrooms grew on the water pipes in the kitchen. At noon, my brother-in-law left me to eat, and after a while he brought a plate of mushrooms, I put down the chopsticks and asked my brother-in-law: "I heard that you resigned to paint professionally at home?" Brother-in-law: "Well..." Me: "How is the painting now?" Did it sell? Brother-in-law: "At present, I have sold the car, and it is estimated that I will sell the house." ”

7, the wife reported the driving school last year, the New Year when the classmates sent a small bear pendant, like it, hanging on the bag, the second time hung up, the second time also hung, the third time forgot to take the bag, go up once on it. To the third section, early in the morning to pick up the bag, noon to call me and did not pass, go home to ask if it is a package problem, a few days ago and then examine the subject three, deliberately did not take the bag, actually passed. Later I learned that it was called the Unlucky Bear.

8, the old man is a professor of a famous university, a monthly salary of 37,000 yuan, but especially thrifty, to buy vegetables have to take the bus. On this day, when the old man went to the market to buy vegetables and came back, he got on a crowded bus... After the old man got into the car, he saw a young man sitting on the "old man's seat", and there was an old grandmother standing next to him... The old man: "Young man, why don't you give up your seat to the old man?" The young man was still talking, and the grandmother cried out, "You old man, how can you be so nosy!" Did you know, he's my grandson! ”

9, I was dumped by my boyfriend, lying on the bed crying in the dark, my mother sat on the edge of the bed looking at me, did not say a word, I held her and cried loudly. My mom reached out and squeezed a large circle of fat on my stomach and said, "Oh, no wonder people don't want you." ”

10, the daughter-in-law is an only child, the husband of the 40s only has her. The old man who has come to get a woman is particularly fond of his daughter-in-law. Yesterday, the old man drove his Maybach to take his daughter-in-law to Wanda. The daughter-in-law looked at a blue Dior crocodile-skin backpack for 30,000 pieces. The old man waved his hand: "One for each color." Just out of the door, I heard the weak voice of the cabinet sister coming: "This boss is really generous, that is, the secretary is too ugly!" ”

1 When I came home from work, I bought a bottle of anti-mosquito flower lotion, put it in my pants pocket to squeeze the bus, there were too many people on the car, and the flower lotion was squeezed to the position of crossing my legs. A big girl in front of her accidentally touched a child in the seat, she said sorry, and then lovingly reached out and touched the child's head. But when she put her hand down, she carefully touched my dew... In my expectant eyes, she whispered: Rogue!

12, the brother found a rich woman, the two people fell in love for a week and got married. On Sunday, I went to my brother's wedding feast. There are ten people sitting at a table, and the wine and dishes are particularly sumptuous. There was a couple on our table, desperately putting suckling pig, seafood and other good dishes into each other's bowls. This is not the most excessive, the most excessive is that these two goods took two convenient bags and kept filling them into the bags. They also said to us: I'm sorry, I have two big wolf dogs at home, and I like to eat meat! A plate of spicy chicken has just been sandwiched, the couple has put it in the box, who are the two big wolf dogs?

13. The health expert saw a spirited, tough and walking uncle and asked: "Uncle, what is the secret of your youth?" Uncle said: "Insist on doing scientific research for more than ten years, write several research reports a day, stare at the computer for four or five hours, read several books of literature, often go to other research groups for exchanges, and participate in a scientific research salon academic conference." Health expert: "Uncle, your high life expectancy this year?" Uncle: "33." ”

14. When I was a nurse in a central hospital, I was fired from receiving family red envelopes, and my father asked my friend to let me work in a funeral home. I left work at twelve o'clock in the middle of the night yesterday and got into a taxi with a woman in front of the door. On the way, the driver took out an apple and just wanted to eat it, and the woman said quietly: "I also loved to eat apples before I was born..." The driver froze suddenly, and the woman added: "But after giving birth to a child, I don't like to eat it." ”