In the New Year, I finished eating from my relatives' house and walked home with my cousin. On the way, there was a motorcycle with two beautiful women on it, and it wasn't driving very fast, because the two women were good looking, I

In the New Year, I finished eating from my relatives' house and walked home with my cousin. On the way, there was a motorcycle with two beautiful women on it, not driving very fast, and because the two women were good-looking, I kept staring at them. Unexpectedly, the beautiful women in the car actually waved at me and said hello, and when I encountered this situation, I had no reason to respond, so I also waved at them. My brother turned his head and said to me very confusedly: My classmate, what hand are you waving?

2. When I married my husband, I hid the fact that I had had children before. After many years, yesterday he suddenly asked me, why did you take a year off school when you were 19 years old? ''I:'''I... When I was a freshman, something had happened in my family...'''Husband:'''Then why do you have a scar on your stomach?'' ''I:'''Yes... Well, I'll be honest, in fact, it was a big mixed society that was stabbed! oh......

3, and my husband is a college classmate, he chased me, because he looks average, at that time many friends felt that we were not a good match. Later, once my brother went to his house, his father opposed the two of us, did not let him be with me, and bombarded me outside! My husband shouted urgently: Even if I break off the father-son relationship with you, I will not break up with her! Since then I have decided that he is the one I have entrusted to me for the rest of my life! I mentioned it today when I went to my father-in-law's house for dinner. My father-in-law and my husband, who had drunk too much, said: Son, when your father first gave you a bitter meat plan, it was easy to use... Routines, full of routines!

4. Today, the upstart drove a Porsche to Starbucks on a blind date. After meeting, he found that the blind date was a hot beauty, and he liked it. Beauty is very cheerful: I like to tell the truth, I am a woman who likes to hook up. The upstart said: I like to tell the truth, I am a man who is not the same. Beauty Smile: Actually, I love knitting sweaters, and I especially like crochet, so hook up! Upstart haha laughed: Actually, I like ballroom dancing, so I take three steps and four steps!

5, today with the second goods girlfriend to visit the supermarket, because of the purchase of more things, we both took a part of it. At the checkout desk, my girlfriend was right behind me, and she said to me: Handsome man, help me settle the bill, I will kiss you. Under everyone's watchful eye, I settled the cost of the part of the thing that my girlfriend took, and then my girlfriend actually kissed me. At this time, a girl next to me spoke: Handsome man, help me tie the knot, today I will go with you. I:......

6, today my daughter is watching the bear haunting, saw my phone ring, showed that it is Boss Li, so he called me loudly, Dad Boss Li's phone, just I have something at hand with her to help me pick up, who knows she said as soon as she picked up, hey, Boss Li I bald strong ah, I...

7, my husband works in the Meituan, this month took a salary of 5,000, and then I secretly took this money to visit Taobao. After my husband knew, he thought I didn't consult with him, and we had a big fight. We ignored anyone all day, and in the evening he finally bowed his head to me and confessed his mistake and said: I'm sorry, I was wrong! I said triumphantly: So what is wrong with you? Him: I shouldn't have corrected your mistake and let you do it this way!

8, two people live on the 18th floor of the hotel, one day came back to find that the elevator power outage, they decided to take the stairs up. When they reached the 17th floor, one of them said, "Let me tell a sad story, I forgot to bring the door key!" ”

9, boy: Dad, I am so old, I want to go outside by myself! Father: Yes, quite the style I had back then. When I was as old as you, I told your grandfather that if I couldn't break out of my piece of the sky, I would never go back to this home. Boy: Is that why I never met Grandpa?

10, the girl borrowed the deep meaning of the shoulder from you on the way back to the dormitory, met a girl in the corner of the wall crying, I walked over to ask her what was wrong, she sobbed and asked me: "You... Would like to lend me a little bit of use... Your shoulders? I said, "As long as you don't cry!" I do! The girl stopped crying and stepped on my shoulder over the wall to go out to buy good food.

1 The girl picked up the lamp and made a wish to the elf in the lamp: "I want a boyfriend", the elf looked at the girl, and her face was embarrassed: "Can I change my wish?" The girl thought for a moment: "Then I want a lunch box that I can't eat fat no matter how to eat", the elf: "Uh, can you see me as your boyfriend?" ”

12, accompany the brothers to go on a blind date, pure dick, see the beauty will not say anything. It turned out that I was having a lively conversation with the girl. It was cold, the girl sneezed, and as soon as I saw the opportunity, I poked my brother: "What's the point!" The cargo scratched his ears and scratched his cheeks for half a day and said, "The dog sneezes and the day is sunny!" ”

13, friends, I put my family's earthen house upside down, those girls will be disgusted, my home is only ten minutes away from the county seat by tram, six thousand and one square meters of the building for an ordinary family really can not afford, I have a brother he has two children, he lives in a new house home has spent most of the money for him, more than a million buildings are I dare not imagine. So the flip cover is good, there can also be a small yard, the space is more than the building, you can also plant something, neighbors visit the door, there are small difficulties to help, is not beautiful!

14, a few days ago on the Internet said that a bear child threw a cannon into the manhole cover and was blown away, I remembered that when I was a child, I threw the Thunder King into the manhole cover with my friends, and then blew up a group of scavengers, chasing and beating us, scared me to pee a pants, since then, I have seen the manhole cover and hidden...