1. Last night at the company party, the female colleague was drunk, I drove her home. Carry her to bed and see that her coat is stained with wine, so I plan to take her coat off! Just pulled open the zipper,

1. Last night at the company party, the female colleague was drunk, I drove her home. Carry her to bed and see that her coat is stained with wine, so I plan to take her coat off! Just as she pulled open the zipper, her mother pushed the door and saw it. I hurriedly explained, "Auntie, I...", and her mother smiled and closed the door: "It's all right, you continue!"

2. A beautiful beautiful woman was deceived into the pyramid scheme nest by her classmates, the pyramid scheme leader brainwashed her in class, the beauty was very cooperative with the serious study of the lecture, and the light of worship flashed in her eyes: I had to sincerely say, "Big brother, I worship you as a teacher, you teach me well, take me, let me learn to make money with you." As soon as the eldest brother heard that the beauty was hooked, he said to let her pay the money, and the beauty said yes, I will go home tomorrow to get the money! You must take me to the top of my life! The eldest brother heard that the beautiful woman wanted to go home to get the money, and his heart was even happier, and he continued to brainwash her: "You can ask your family to transfer money to you, so that you don't have to run around, and you can quickly seize the opportunity to get rich." The beauty said, "My father will not give me money if I don't go back, my father is a very stubborn person, he will not see me, he will not give me money." "The eldest brother is blinded by money, and he also believes in his brainwashing technology, thinking that the beauty is too simple and has been brainwashed successfully." The next morning, I asked the beautiful woman to hurry back to get the money, and the beautiful woman said grievously: "Big brother, I don't have a fare, can you borrow 600 yuan for me?" When I come back I'll pay you back a thousand dollars. "The eldest brother thought about it, anyway, the money she got back was mine, and it didn't hurt to lend her some." So the eldest brother gave the beautiful woman six hundred yuan. The female college students thanked her, thanked her again and again, and promised to return soon. A week passed, the female college student did not come back, the eldest brother waited impatiently, he picked up the mobile phone and called her and asked: "When are you coming back?" There is no chance to come back. The female college student replied: "You liar, do you really think I have been brainwashed by you?" If it wasn't for the escape, I wouldn't have bothered to act with you? I've called the police, you're waiting to be caught! ”

3. The sister-in-law was deducted 20 points for violations, so she threw the mother-in-law's driving license to help her eliminate the points, and also let the mother-in-law who still had the charm attract the coach with beauty, and opened a small stove for her after class, so as to pass the exam as soon as possible. Don't look at the mother-in-law is 50 years old, it is also considered that Xu Niang is half old, the first day to the driving school, he gave the coach a hard China, said: "Coach, hard, smoke." "I didn't expect the coach to be very upright and sternly refused.

The next day, the mother-in-law took two bottles of wine, and the coach said with a black face: "You can't drink alcohol, and you can't drink while driving!" The mother-in-law still did not give up, took out a large red envelope from the bag, secretly handed it to the coach and said: "This is a little meaning, not much, you hold, there is nothing to press a mo, K a song can be done." The coach smirked and refused. The mother-in-law said, "Almost!" Don't hold it! You can't let the old woman betray the hue! The coach really couldn't hold back, hugged the waist of his mother-in-law and said: "Wife, driving is not a child's play, you must come step by step, you can't be a little sloppy, otherwise you will be killed!" ”

4. Playing on the basketball court, a girl mistakenly entered, I did not see, the result was accidentally bumped by me. The girl's left arm was dislocated, and I took her to the hospital to pick up the bone. The doctor said: It hurts a little, bear with it. The lesbians were frightened and refused to die. The doctor said to me: You think of a way to divert her attention. I thought about it and suddenly kissed the girl. The girl was stupid at the time, and in response she gave me a slap. I covered my face and asked the doctor: How? Okay? The doctor said: Don't need me, she slapped you with this slap, and the bones took back on their own. Go downstairs and pay for the consultation, I'm prescribing you some medicine...

5. The rich woman got a depression certificate, and the doctor said that conservative treatment was estimated to be 10 million! The rich woman thought about it and said: Doctor, please give me some time! A month passed, and the rich woman went to the hospital to find the doctor and said: Doctor, I am ready! The doctor said excitedly: Great, then prepare for the operation as soon as possible! The rich woman hurriedly resigned: No, the operation is not done! The doctor said with a puzzled face: "So what are you preparing for these days?" The rich woman covered her mouth, smiled, and said: I transferred all my husband's property to my name. From now on, I want to live a happy and happy life!

6. Last night, I went to the food stall with a few friends for a late night snack. At that time, there were many people, I sat in 33 seats, after eating and paying, 99.9 yuan, to Zhang 100, I thought that a dime would not be needed, I said to the guy, that dime is not wanted. Who knew the guy shouted loudly: 33 seats give a dime tip. I was not happy at the time, a dime shouted something, returned to me, then the guy called again: 33 seats and a dime tip to go back. I......

7. The man angrily drove into the BMW 4S store and called the manager. The man roared: "They all say that BMW is a world famous brand, the quality is very good, a good fart!" I've only been on it for three months, the brakes are often broken, the headlights are not on, and the most infuriating thing is that I have just found out now that you have given me one less wheel! The manager said calmly: "First, you are an electric tricycle, you can't make four wheels; second, we BMW never produce tricycles." Where to buy it, ask your family Lao Tzu to go! Man: "I went, no wonder I let the goddess take my car to go for a ride, people don't go!" ”

8. Forgot to charge the phone last night and turned off as a result. I searched for a long time to find the power bank. As soon as the phone was turned on, a phone called: Why did your phone keep turning off? I've been playing all afternoon! Me: Huh? Him: What did you do? A person in the field, do not know to keep the phone open at all times, know how worried your parents are? I asked weakly: Who are you? There said in full anger: I am Zhongtong Express, to Fengchao this to take the courier, Fengchao no vacancy can not be put, hurry up!

9. The brother-in-law is 3 years older than the sister, and yesterday everyone went shopping together at the mall. Then the sister took a look at a pair of shoes, and the brother-in-law had to pay the sister to buy them. At this time, the salesman's eldest sister said to her sister: "Beauty, that is your boyfriend, see that he is quite young, it should be 2 years younger than you!" The sister did not answer the salesman's eldest sister at that time, and the salesman's eldest sister still said unforgivingly: "It is really enviable that such a young age will be so considerate!" "My sister was so angry!"