1. When I met my first love at the classmate meeting, she took the initiative to greet me: "How old is the child?" "I said I wasn't married. The first love's face darkened: "Are you still waiting for me?" Don't be silly, I won't let you

1. When I met my first love at the classmate meeting, she took the initiative to greet me: "How old is the child?" "I said I wasn't married. The first love's face darkened: "Are you still waiting for me?" Don't be silly, I won't let you get mine. I sneered and ignored it. The class leader came over and said, "Old classmate, last time you borrowed me 3 million, can you pay it back next month?" "I said yes. When the first love saw this, she couldn't help but move closer to me and whispered, "You can still chase me now!" I moved to the side, "I won't let you get mine." After the first love left, the class leader came over and shook my hand and said, "Old classmate, I'm interesting enough.... Give you a long face. "I quickly pulled my hand away, this dead fat man has been secretly in love with me for ten years, and he will not change his heart."

2. The company's senior management held a celebration banquet, and several of our project participants were drinking red wine and chatting in a small corner. Lao Wu, the commissioner of personnel, talked about the problem of the car, saying that his brakes were not very good to use, and he had to honk the horn in time every time. Lao Wang of the R&D department looked at the traffic flow coming and going and said: The brakes are not good, and your seat adjustment is related! Everyone looked at Lao Wang with admiration and asked: How should the seat be adjusted? Lao Wang took a sip of Xie Baina and said: Generally speaking, the saddle is adjusted downwards, so that if the braking system is not timely, you can also use the foot brake...

3, the cousin's company is very strange, perennial recruitment, recruitment information has been hanging on the Internet, cousin said that their company belongs to the flowing water, new employees want to enter, old employees want to go. Unsurprisingly, my cousin had to resign after working for no month, and before leaving, she saw the opinion book on the table, looked over it, and no one gave any advice. However, when I turned to the first page, I saw that the first page had a few words with my fingernails: What about the pen?

4, during the long vacation, there is nothing to do, my roommate and I work part-time as a takeaway brother. Roommates often delivered takeout to a beautiful woman and served a tip every time. When it comes to wind and rain, the beauty gives more tips, which makes me very envious. Later, on a stormy noon, I delivered food for my roommate to the beautiful woman. Beauty thought I was a roommate: "Handsome man, hard work!" I gave you so many tips, don't charge me money this time? My parents didn't leave me money before going to work today, thank you! I said, "Then add a friend." "Not long after that, we were together.

5, yesterday to find the leader reimbursement, the leader said that she has no change, to send me WeChat red envelopes, remembered the previous two days the leader also said that will not send WeChat red envelopes, I was surprised to ask: "You will send WeChat red envelopes?" When did you learn it? The leader said excitedly: "I just learned it two days ago!" Send you WeChat red envelopes? I said, "I want cash!"

6. I just walked into my five-hundred-square-meter bedroom today and wanted to start taking a break. I didn't expect my son to come to the bedroom to negotiate with me, and my daughter-in-law watched. Talking about intense times when the son asked his mother to help him! I said beautifully: That's my daughter-in-law, she will help me! My son glanced at me, we are related by blood! The next day I went to the hospital to do a paternity test!?

7, I was sleeping, the teacher woke me up and asked: You have a 6M deep pit in front of you, there is no water in it, if you jump in, can you get out? I said confusedly: This is not simple, don't you float up when you release the water in your brain? Teacher: Do you have so much water in your head? I was very proud to say: Why do I have to jump if I don't have so much water in my head?

8. At noon today, three old ladies sat together and chatted. One said: I have a problem now, sometimes after opening the refrigerator, I forget whether I came to get something or just put something in. Another said: That's fine, my problem is standing on the stairs and forgetting whether I'm going upstairs or downstairs. The third one said: Thank goodness, I don't have such a problem! As she said it, she tapped her knuckles on the table and made a crisp tapping sound. Then she exclaimed: Ah, there was a knock at the door!

9. After eating in the evening, the father said to his daughter who was sitting and watching TV: "Daughter, let's talk about your heart, let's talk about your ideals in life!" The daughter pointed to the TV and said, "I want to be an actor and become a big star!" The father applauded, "Very good! If the ideal is to be put into practice, then, start learning acting now! Can you play a housewife? Daughter: "Of course you can!" Father: "Very good, then try, wash the dishes!" "Daughter: .....??

10. I remember when I was a child, the old people in the village often talked about a small story. It is said that an older leftover woman in a certain village often laments when she chats. She originally went on a blind date with a high-quality man, and the first time she went to the man's house, the mother-in-law cooked a large pot of her favorite rice dumplings. In those years, I was deprived of materials, and I ate a large bowl, and my eyes were still hooked. The mother-in-law said that she wanted to eat and then go to Sheng, and she really went to Sheng again! And then the next day he was dismissed...

11. The brother-in-law's son planted 8 million yuan at a time when he bought a big lot, and then fell in love with the flight attendant of China Eastern Airlines. One day, the brother-in-law wanted to go further with the flight attendant! The flight attendant said: I can only marry a man with a high IQ, now I have three math problems, if you can answer it, you can do whatever you want, if you can't answer it, don't think about anything! The brother-in-law could only nod his head in agreement, and as a result, the first and second questions of the brother were not answered. The flight attendant said solemnly: The last chance is ah, you listen carefully! Then, just listen to the flight attendant's solemn question: How much does one plus one equal?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #