laitimes

1, there is a young woman in the unit, has not been married, one night she called me, said that the sewer pipe in the bathroom at home is blocked, asked me if I can go to help her dredge it. I didn't say a word

author:Tea and rice full of emotional story hall

1, there is a young woman in the unit, has not been married, one night she called me, said that the sewer pipe in the bathroom at home is blocked, asked me if I can go to help her dredge it. I didn't say a word, took all the tools, took eighty dollars to take a taxi to her house, and then took only five minutes to help her dredge the sewer pipes. She said very happily, I just asked a person on the Internet to dredge the sewer pipe, he actually said to charge me fifty yuan, you see you five minutes to get it done, do not spend a penny, it is very good! I smiled and said that if there is anything going on at home in the future, just look for me. She said gratefully, ok thank you, you see it's not too early now, you hurry home and rest! I nodded, took my tools, and spent another eighty dollars on a rental home.

2, my relationship with my brother is very good, no matter what I will tell him! After returning from foxconn, the little money I earned was spent in a few days! This afternoon with my brother bao complained: brother, the current money is really useless, I went home for a few days, spent more than a thousand yuan, and still feel that I have not bought anything, and now I want to order a takeaway to hesitate for half a day. My brother was silent for a while and then said seriously: I think you are right, but there is one thing I am the opposite of you, I don't eat takeout, I eat your sister-in-law's cooking...

3, the boyfriend is a very greasy fat man, but who called him rich. Sleeping at night, the purr is like thunder, but he does not admit guilt! In desperation, when I went to bed at night, I opened my mobile phone to record, trying to capture evidence and speak with facts. The next day, I proudly pulled him along to play the 'evidence', and strangely enough, he didn't move, it was all my teeth grinding and whispering! I also recorded the fact that I only cared about his money, and this was the end of the game.......

4, girlfriend introduced me to a rich man, today's blind date, I specially dressed myself, did not expect to almost pass the time. I immediately called a TAIX, and after getting on the bus, I hurriedly threw 50 yuan to the driver and said: Avoid all the congested routes, take shortcuts, and do whatever it takes! I'm going to get to Zhongshan Square in twenty minutes. The driver master started the car perfectly and drove out like an arrow. A nice right turn came to a screeching stop, then opened the door and rushed out. Then, I saw him sweep me a shared bicycle on the side of the road with his mobile phone and said: Go, girl, remember to lock the car when you arrive at your destination...

5. The brother-in-law is a strict wife, and usually does not dare to come out in front of his wife. Today, the brother-in-law said triumphantly: I did a most grandfatherly thing, stole 50 yuan from my wife's wallet, bought a bag of soft Chinese, and knelt in front of her to smoke. I sneered and said: How old are you, and you still steal your wife's money? I really don't have the ambition, I just take it directly from my son's piggy bank. "

6. When my father and mother were not at home, I stole my father's treasured liquor. This was my first time with baijiu, and I was drunk after only one glass of wine. When I woke up, I found myself tied to a pole by a rope. I was confused and hurriedly asked my mother what was going on. My mother told me the truth, and I smoked a cigarette when I was drunk and shouted at my father: "You are a cow, usually give me so little pocket money, do you call Hanako?" Get some money for the little master! "In the end, it was my mother who swore to die to save my life!"

7. After working in the company, I met my current daughter-in-law, and now the two have been married for two years. Usually the daughter-in-law cooks I brush the dishes, the result is that today I am too tired to brush at work, the daughter-in-law scolded me, I replied, and the result was a quarrel. I was so excited that I blurted out! The wife was stunned and said very angrily: You have the ability to say it again! I was on fire at that time, and I said it again: rolling water in the east of the Yangtze River!

8. Just arrived at the company in the morning, the boss said to make a small game to relax. There was a quiz game in it, and I got stuck on the last multiple choice question. So I asked a female colleague for help with my eyes, she pointed to herself, and I immediately understood and blurted out: A. The resulting answer is:D. Since then, female colleagues have not paid attention to me........

9. After eating this night, I really didn't want to wash the dishes, so I lay on the couch and bumped the melon seeds. When my wife saw it, she was furious and came up to me and gave me a beating. I covered my face: Wife, you will not think in a different position, if I beat you up, what will you think? The wife listened, sat there and fell into contemplation... After a while, he came over and punched me up again. I wondered: Wife, what are you doing? Wife: I thought about it in a different position, and this is really intolerable. Me: Then you still beat me? Wife: What I can't tolerate is that you dare if you beat me!

10. When I was in Sichuan Grain School, it was very formal, and it was difficult to eat takeaway. Today was too hungry, so I ordered a fried sauce noodle, and just after taking the takeaway, I met the principal. I smiled at the takeaway brother and said, "Today you brought me food, brother, what about Dad?" He saw that I was giving him a look, very clever: "Bring something today, just as I passed by today, I brought it." I took out the money and said, "You can take this money back, I can't use this much money here." ”?

11. Yesterday was the last day of work in the company, but the hostess said: "You have not worked for a full year, do not return the deposit!" "Hey, think about my hard-earned money!" In the evening, invite all the colleagues of the store to eat a casual supper and call the boss lady and his wife. It seems that I ordered a lot of things, so I took two Chinese cigarettes at the bar. Pretending to answer the phone and leisurely calling the taxi, I left my colleague and my door-slamming hostess.

#Funny Moment#Funny Paragraph# #搞笑幽默趣闻 #

Read on