1. Shopping with his girlfriend, a small fart child ran over and asked: Uncle, I am separated from my mother, can I borrow your mobile phone to use it? I pulled out my phone and handed it to him: Just call my brother, otherwise my girlfriend will dislike me. The girlfriend couldn't stand up straight when she laughed at the side, and the little fart child said: It turns out that my brother has a girlfriend, no wonder the aunt laughs so happily. The poor kid's phone has not yet been answered, and it will be in the hands of his girlfriend in an instant!
2. Spit on the way by a little boy, very hard to resist the urge to beat him. Crouched down and touched his head, gave him five bucks, and told him it was a great job. The next day I saw him on that street, and sure enough, my face swollen!
3. Travel with colleagues in Huludao, go to a barber shop for haircuts, very cheap only 5 yuan. Colleagues are not old, but the baldness is serious, the colleague haircut is a beautiful big sister, when checking out, she said, see your hair is less, charge you 3 yuan. At that time, they were all laughing silly, and they couldn't afford to hurt...
4. Some time ago, a sister's signature read: I love you, not because you drive a Lamborghini, live in a seaside villa, but that the sun is just right that day, you are wearing a white shirt that I like, yes, love is so simple. Today she updated her signature again, and wrote: I left you not because your villa was rented, Lamborghini was borrowed, it was the day you wore a pair of green socks, that is not my favorite color, yes, love is as simple as that.
5. The husband is usually very busy, so busy that he can't touch the shadow all day. On the weekends, he sat there watching TV. I pestered him and said, "If we're bored at home, shall we do something exciting?"
Husband: All right! Let's play hide-and-seek!
6. A man is anxious to find a toilet, and he meets a beautiful woman on the road, male: "Hello, do you know where there is a toilet nearby?" ”
Female: "Are you looking for a men's or women's restroom?" ”
M: "Men's toilet." ”
F: "Next to the women's restroom." ”
M: "Where is the women's toilet?" ”
Female: "You're a big pervert, why are a big old men looking for a women's toilet?" ”
7. A friend introduced me to a girl, and the girl had already thrown up three times. I looked at her so uncomfortable and asked, "Are you unwell?" Or is the dish unappetizing? The girl said calmly: "I will confirm with you again, is the Rolls-Royce at the door yours?" I nodded! Girl: "Well, this dish is very suitable for my appetite, so let's continue eating!" "It feels like this girl is inexplicable...
8. The prince and princess have been living happily in the castle since their marriage. One day the dwarf came to the castle and asked the prince, "Tell me how you saved the princess after she fell ill after eating a poisoned apple." The prince looked fondly into the distance and recalled: "That day, I gently called the name of the princess, and she did not wake up; I wrapped her tightly in my arms, and she did not wake; then, I kissed her lips, and she still did not wake up..." "Later, I slapped her hard, and the princess was sick."
9. Early this morning, Shi Tai saw the abbot sitting on the sofa and smoking a cigarette. Shi Tai repeatedly pressed the question, it turned out that the abbot played xian people palm stabbing, can't pick out the embarrassment to say? Shi Tai was too curious about how it was pierced, and the thorn could not be pulled out, so while helping him pick the thorn, he damaged him. The abbot made a tendon and wrapped the XIAN human palm basin and demonstrated it to Shi Tai again....... Then the abbot jumped up and sat down fiercely!
10. Mom cleaned up today and cleaned up the house. In particular, my brother's room is not stained, which is very layered. Me: "Mom, my brother didn't come back, why did he get it so neat?" Mom: "Your brother is going to bring his girlfriend back at noon, and I can't clean up!" Me: "Then I'll clean up my room too?" My mother said, "You don't have a boyfriend, no one is looking at you, so rest!" "#Funny# #搞笑一刻 #
![During the New Year, a man in Ordos took his child to visit his stepmother, and when the old man saw this "son", he took his hand and kept stroking and kissing, and he was unwilling to let go for a long time[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)