1, on the bus, I saw a 16- or 7-year-old girl being hugged by an uncle, and the girl said: Is it really good that you have a married man holding me as an unmarried woman, have you ever thought about your wife's feelings?

1, on the bus, I saw a 16- or 7-year-old girl being hugged by an uncle, and the girl said: Is it really good that you are a married man holding me, an unmarried woman, have you ever thought about your wife's feelings? The man said: Girl, is it good to save some face for your father! If you hadn't been motion sickness, I wouldn't have put my arms around you!"

2. When I came home, I met a fellow countryman, and he gave me a few large pomegranates. When I got home, my wife asked me curiously: Do you say that this big pomegranate has 500 seeds? I said: How could it be, definitely not. But the wife said firmly: Yes. So I made a bet with her about who would lose and who would do the housework, and then I took a plate and peeled it off carefully. As a result, I had just peeled half of it, and the ladies grabbed it and ate it, and said thank you, leaving me stunned.

3, today is really unlucky, I wanted to go out at night to walk the dog, but I met a robber! He searched on me for half a day and didn't find it, and when he left, he said: "Poor goods, don't go out in the future!" I got angry and said to him, "Don't go, look down on anyone, I'll call you to borrow!" "Then I started calling my friends to borrow it, and I didn't borrow it for half a day. The robber patted me on the shoulder and handed me two hundred dollars: "Brother, I have pierced my heart." You take it first! ”?

4. The son failed the midterm exam, and the teacher criticized him fiercely! The son said grievously: "Teacher, this really can't blame me, they all complain about my back table!" The teacher felt very strange and asked, "What does it have to do with your back table?" The son had a good reason: "Behind every successful man is a woman, but behind me is a gay man." Teacher: "Get out!" ”

5. Once passed by a lucky lottery while shopping with his girlfriend. My girlfriend had to pull me in and say she felt lucky enough to buy a color drift today. After listening to it, I laughed dumbly and said, "If we plant 10 million, how can we spend it?" The girlfriend replied without thinking: "If it is really 10 million, we don't have to make it up, one person 5 million each find a better one." "Me:"

6. Nouveau riche are idle all day long. That time at a friend's house, playing mahjong, playing happily, his wife suddenly broke in. Then he pointed at his nose and scolded: "I don't cook food, my son doesn't look at it, I know how to play mahjong all day long." The nouveau riche did not dare to resist and slipped back. Watching the upstart go far, his wife sat down and asked, "To whomse village?" ”

7. Wang Qianchong's mother is a bridesmaid and will not quarrel. Wang Qianchong said: Even if you look at what quarrels and treasures she looks up on the Internet, scolds people, how to scold people gracefully, how to scare people without dirty words, and then find a small book to write down. Now that Wang Qianchongyi had provoked his mother to be angry, his mother put on her glasses and turned out the small book to scold one by one! The point is that Wang Qianchongzhen is really powerless to refute it.

8, the girlfriend loves to eat cold skin, three meals a day, she must have a meal to eat cold skin, one day I teased her: "If you quit cold skin, I will quit drinking." She thought about it and agreed. Sure enough, for a month after that, she never ate cold skin again, but I couldn't stand it, and I was tormented by alcohol addiction, so I had to suggest to my girlfriend that we all quit. But she disagreed: "I just told my friend that I wouldn't let you drink anymore, and if you drink again." Where to put my face. ”

9. Today's ex-girlfriend called me on the phone and said, "Is it convenient to talk?" I looked at my wife and said, "Why don't you eat it?" She added, "When it's convenient for you, I'll call you again." I smiled and said, "It's eight o'clock to make the meal!" The wife hung up the phone and asked me who had called, and I said, "My ex-girlfriend's!" She gave me a blank look: "Nasty, teasing me, it must be your mother!" ”?

10. When I was in kindergarten, once I had a cold and a fever and refused to take medicine. My mom gave me a direct slap and shoved the medicine in my mouth while I was crying. Yesterday afternoon just arrived home from work, saw the mother feeding the little niece to take medicine, the little niece clenched her teeth is not open mouth! I laughed and said: Slap her and cry, open your mouth to cry and give her medicine. My mother said leisurely: This is my granddaughter, can she be like you?

11. Not long ago, I drove the Ford Mustang to the wedding of my first love girlfriend. I am very happy to see a lot of old friends! At the dinner table, after thirty years of drinking, somehow my brain suddenly short-circuited. I stood up and said: The bride's ex-boyfriend, stand up and let's have a drink! So, the whole one-third of the men stood up... I went, so spectacular, the share of money must be a lot! Looking at the groom's face, I still remember that expression.

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #