1, as soon as you enter the train sleeper, the upper bunk is a young woman, very beautiful. At night, there were only two of us in the whole carriage. The young woman seemed a little frightened, so she climbed down from above

1, as soon as you enter the train sleeper, the upper bunk is a young woman, very beautiful. At night, there were only two of us in the whole carriage. The young woman seemed to be a little frightened, so she climbed down from above and said to me, "You are a good person at first glance, you should not have any thoughts about me, right?" "I was surprised to say that good people also like beautiful women, and you are so beautiful, it is normal for me to have ideas about you. Beauty said helplessly, do you have a wife? I shook my head and said, "I'm not married yet," and she asked again, "Do you have a girlfriend?" I shook my head and said my first love was still there. She sighed and said that in the middle of the night, there were only two of us in the whole bedroom. You must have bullied me. Forget it, I'll be your girlfriend. I made a girlfriend for no reason, my head was still quite dizzy, but it was also very good, and the single state was finally over. After getting out of the car, I took her to a big meal and bought her a jewelry bag and clothes. Her mood improved markedly. She smiled and said, I didn't expect you to be so rich. I shook my head and said, I have worked for so many years, only saved tens of thousands of dollars, and today I spent it all on you. She looked at me with a complicated look, "You are very good to me, the money has been spent, what should I do in the future life?" "It's impossible to drink the northwest wind, right?"

2. Take 8 workers to the restaurant to eat seafood buffet, 38 pieces per person. A total of 80 pounds of crabs, 120 pounds of lobsters, 90 large abalone, and 30 pounds of oranges were eaten. When I was ready to leave after checkout, I also brought 16 bottles of red wine. The waiter gave them a blank look and said, "You can't take it outside here." The owner of the construction site shouted: "Then give me another 200 pounds of pippi shrimp." The store manager hurriedly walked over: "Let them take it and go, hurry up and let me go!"

3, my mother did kidney stone surgery icon, lived in the hospital for more than ten days, the total cost of more than 7,000, we only paid a piece of eight cents! The rest are state reimbursement and my mom's Medicare card reimbursement! I wondered, those who open their mouths all day and say that a cold cost thousands and thousands of people how they spent this fee?

4) I suspected my wallet had been stolen and I don't remember where I went at the time. Tonight my mother washed her clothes and told me that we would go to a big meal for a while, and I thought: Oh, this is money, I will follow, and when I pay the bill after that, my mother said: Today I please, I said Mom, you are rich? My mom said, "500 bucks when I just washed your clothes." I..... Know who that thief is!

5, the boss has to marry her daughter to me, if I don't accept, the vice president of this position will not do it, for the sake of the career, I agreed, and then I will urge the boss daughter to lose weight, I mean 10 pounds less a month, after a year, she is normal. She also accepted, and we agreed to weigh her weight at the end of each month. When I weighed herself today, I found that she had lost 3 pounds this month, and she shouted: "Stay away from me, just now your arm touched me!" I took a few steps back, and in fact the numbers didn't change, and she said, "Keep going backwards..." I said. She pointed to my shadow and said, "Didn't you see that?" Your shadow is also on the scale..."I suddenly fell into deep thought, does the shadow have any weight, who knows??

6. The company has recently made personnel changes, and I am ready to curry favor with our general manager for the position of vice president. On this day, the manager happened to have a birthday, and he was a rat. In order to please him, I made a special effort to give him a rat made of all gold. The manager looked very happy and continued: You know? In a few days it will be my wife's birthday, and she belongs to the cattle!

7, ↓ Lived with a noblewoman for three months, and finally she gave me a house as a breakup fee. After moving in, I found that one of the girls who lived next door was very beautiful, and I had been following her for a while. When I went to work this morning and saw that the door of her house was hidden and the security door was wide open, I was very kind enough to help her close the security door. Just then, she came back in her pajamas with a garbage basket and looked at me stunned...

8, take my girlfriend home, my mother gave her a two thousand yuan meeting gift, my girlfriend is embarrassed to ask, I will help her collect it first, and I will spend the money back. Later, my girlfriend asked me for money, so I went to the credit union to save two dollars, and when I got home, I filled in the deposit column of the passbook with 2,000 yuan, and then handed it to my girlfriend, who happily put away the passbook. After a long time... My girlfriend whimpered and said to me, "Bully! I went to withdraw the money today and they said – I wrote it myself! ??

9, the boyfriend opened the flower shell function, happily took me to the mall. I was thirsty and wanted to drink milk tea, but the queue was particularly long, and we discussed for half a day that no one wanted to go. I said: Let's throw the dice and decide, I will go if you guess correctly, and you will go if you guess wrong. The boyfriend felt fair and immediately nodded yes. I took out a dice, immediately threw it out of the window, and asked: How much did it fall into half?

10. Playing a game at home, A phone call suddenly came and asked me if I needed a loan. I said, "Yes." He asked, "So how much do you need to borrow?" I said, "500 million." Then he was stunned and asked, "What assets do you have?" I said, "I have two mountains in Australia and two buildings in Shanghai." "Before I could finish speaking, he hung up my phone, was I wrong?"

11. After chasing the school flower for a long time, she finally agreed to go out on a date with me. After eating and riding her bicycle home, a truck came up on the road and she said: "If you can surpass that truck, I will marry you." I immediately got up and chased after me, desperately pedaling! As I was about to catch up with my foot at 200 per minute, I snapped and slapped my wife awake. I heard my wife scold, "Look where you shook your head and stomped on the quilt!" ”?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #