Guide: When I went downstairs to pick up the courier, I saw the neighbor Tingting standing at the gate with a one-year-old baby. Before I could say hello, I heard Tingting say, "It's so cold outside, let's go home." ”
"No!" She said emphatically.
After that, no matter what suggestion Tingting made, the child responded with a simple "no" word. Tingting looked at me helplessly and said, "I can't even speak clearly, so I began to learn to resist, and recently I especially like to say 'no'." ”
I smiled and said, "Children have this stage, just guide it well, it's not a big problem." ”
When Dabao began to go through this stage from the age of one, my baby father and I were also depressed for a while. The deepest impression was to ask him if he peed, he said no, but actually peed his pants. At one point, the baby father was very angry, thinking that the child was deliberately working against us, too naughty.
However, after looking up some information, I learned that children like to say "no", not deliberately against adults, but a necessary process in the growth stage.
01, the reason why babies like to say "no"
The famous psychologist Piaget divided the development of children's thinking into four major stages: the perceptual motor stage, the pre-operation stage, the specific operation stage and the formal operation stage.
The perceptual motor stage (0-2 years old) refers to the early stage of the development of infants' cognitive ability, relying on sensation and movement to perceive the world, and basically believing that the object is eternal. From about 15 months old, the baby has the initial self-awareness and gradually realizes that he is an independent individual.
In the Mirror self-recognition test, it was also shown that infants and young children began to notice differences between themselves and those around them from 12 months of age, and from 24 months of age, the concept of "you, me and him" began to appear.
In other words, 1-2 years old is a critical period for children's self-awareness to germinate and develop. At this stage, the baby begins to feel the outside world clearly through his eyes, limbs and other parts, and will also use his mouth. I want to taste and lick everything, and at the same time, I also begin to feel the power of language.
One-year-old babies begin to like to say "no", summed up, on the one hand, because of the bud of self-awareness, want to have independence and rights; on the other hand, because the word "no" is simple to pronounce, there is a sense of power to say it, and it can express its own position.
Therefore, it is a very normal development process for children who suddenly like to say "no", and parents do not need to worry too much and should be treated correctly.
02, the right way for parents to say "no" to their children
Although the child begins to like to say "no", perhaps in many cases, he expresses his dissent when he does not understand what his parents want him to do. It's normal for one-year-olds to act rebelliously, and not every time they say "no" they have to be taken seriously. So in the face of "bear children" frequently saying "no", how should parents do it?
First, ignore it
Like my family's big treasure, he already wanted to urinate, but said "no", and as a result, he peed his pants. Because children sometimes say "no", just blurt out, not really do not want to do. In this case, the child says no, but the mother can follow her own established plan.
While echoing the child's resistance, while taking the baby to the toilet, if he has the intention of defecation, he will naturally pee. The ultimate goal can be achieved, and it is not recommended to sneer at the child, saying something like "Don't you not pee?" "Such irritating words.
2. Appropriate concessions
In some inconsequential matters, when the child expresses "no", the parents can make appropriate concessions without having to worry about the baby.
3. Divert attention
Children sometimes say "no" may be really resisting, which is not recommended to be perfunctory. For example, seeing that it is time to eat, but the child is clamoring to eat snacks, the "no" at this time shows his attitude. Harsh rejection can only cause a burst of crying, and it is better to choose a way to divert the child's attention.
Taking your baby to find something other interesting to do and attract children to play with can perfectly avoid disputes.
03. Cultivate children's independence through acts of resistance
In the face of children's rebellious behavior, parents who do not understand the situation may be helpless, and may even rise to heights, thinking that the child is deliberately opposing the adult. Gradually associating with the child's character, personality and other issues will give the child a bad label.
Therefore, if you can't correctly understand the problems that occur in the process of children's growth, not only are parents worried, but also for children, it is also a great harm. Children who appear to say "no" can be considered the first "rebellion" on their growth path, and the purpose of children's rebellion is to gain independence.
So why don't we use this act of rebellion to cultivate our children's independence?
First of all, don't make a big deal out of it, and give your child the opportunity to explore themselves.
Don't look at the child's small, many reasons why parents are angry are because of the "power struggle" with the baby. Worried that the child will spill water, eat and eat in the mouth, dress too slowly, etc., the child is seeking self-independence, but the parents always want to "reach out" to help.
In the case of ensuring safety, it is recommended that parents can let go and create independent opportunities for their children, who will never come to the meeting?
Second, what children need to learn is skill, not to be protected in all aspects.
In the process of trying to be independent, babies will naturally encounter all kinds of ridiculous things. Parents are advised to let go, not to completely give up, but to take the opportunity to teach their children independent skills.
If you want to eat by yourself, you must learn to use tableware; if you want to walk steadily without bumping, you must learn to observe the environment.
Finally, timely and appropriate encouragement.
When the child shows a little progress, parents should immediately give a positive look and encouragement, give the child self-confidence, and believe that he will do better and better.
When the child resisted, he clearly understood that he was expressing different opinions, and his heart was more worried. But parents' tolerant approach will create more opportunities for children to do things. When they have developed their abilities in the experience, the natural rebellious behavior will be reduced, and the way of chatting and communicating with their parents will become more and more peaceful and smooth.
epilogue:
The process of raising children to be independent is the process of acknowledging their rebellion. Being able to make good use of the baby's first "little rebellion" period and help the baby gradually move towards independence is good for the future parent-child relationship and the child's life! Hurry up and try it!
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