Friend Tingting sent a message: "When I woke up, our whole family 'amplified the leave', our work area was blocked, and the children's school was suspended. ”
I teased her and said, "It's not just right, your dream vacation life is coming." ”
Tingting said: "It seems like this, but this kind of vacation makes people tremble with fear." ”
YQ counterattacked, many friends living in other places have the same experience as Tingting, the day before was still working normally, the next day was informed that they need to stay at home.
Talking to my husband about this, I said that if I was suddenly detained at home, would I be panicked? Is it necessary to prepare some supplies in advance? He suggested that I read Mr. Yang Dai's "The Walk of the Servants", and he said: "Maybe one day, it also means that we need to calm down and feel life." ”
I finished reading this "miscellaneous book" in two days, and I didn't know how to describe my feelings, but I just felt unusually calm and contented. Looking at my brother and sister who are playing at home, I actually think it is also a kind of beauty.
The gentleman said: "Compared with the daily necessities, perhaps we also need to prepare more spiritual food." ”
Stay at home, how long can you hold out?
Life is suddenly pressed the pause button and forced to enjoy the long-awaited "long vacation" at home. However, less than a week after the home is closed, people will have various symptoms of discomfort. Girlfriends say that staying at home is said to be physical enjoyment, rather than mental torture.
Tingting is now in "close contact" with the children in kindergarten every day, because her baby has not liked kindergarten very much, and she thought that the child was beautiful. Who knew that after staying at home for a few days, the child took the initiative to say, "Mom, I want to go to kindergarten." ”
Tingting cried and laughed and said, "This five-year-old doll can't stand loneliness, let alone adults." ”
This reminds me of Mr. Yang Dai's description of their lives in the book. Even if they are in an extremely difficult stage, misunderstood, lack of food and clothing, and poor accommodation conditions, it does not affect them to complete their work on schedule, insist on reading, and be calm.
Looking at the current life, most of us are panicked and do not know how to deal with ourselves. Maybe we're too impetuous, or maybe we're in an era that's more anxious. But the world is uncertain, who would have thought that they would experience this sudden Y love, and the rhythm of everyone's life was disrupted.
Are we not born with the ability to "calm down"? Not really.
Calm down and activate the brain "default mode network"
Pascal said: The only reason humans are unhappy is that they don't know how to stay quiet in the room.
In the book "Self-Driving Growth", the reference to the fact that the human brain has a "default mode network" may explain why we can't calm down.
The study found that there is a complex and highly integrated network in the brain that is activated only when we do nothing, which is the "default mode network". While this function is not fully understood, scientists believe it must be important because it consumes 60 to 80 percent of the brain's energy.
This network is located in the shadow areas of the front and back end of the brain, and this part begins to come alive when humans begin to look to the future and comb through the past.
At home, it is not idle, adults either sleep, or brush dramas, children either take online classes, or play mobile phone games. Imagine how much time it takes to really calm down and let your brain go?
At present, a variety of advanced technical means are flooding life, so that everyone lacks the opportunity to activate the default mode network. And this network can help the brain rejuvenate, can see things more deeply, and process complex thoughts.
Then, for growing children, learning to properly "empty" themselves and enjoy the time of real solitude may be more beneficial for their future.
Let the child have the ability to calm down and be alone, try these three tricks
This time Y love counterattack, there has been more than one bao mom private message to me, saying that playing at home has reached the bottleneck period, I don't know what else to do?
Tingting said that at home with the baby movement is afraid of affecting the downstairs neighbors, every day to draw and see picture books to do handicrafts, but also to exhaust patience, it seems that only watching mobile phones to watch TV is a long-term solution.
In fact, let us "bedroom and living room deep tour" days will not last long, but the current special means to cooperate with epidemic prevention. But these days allow us to learn to grow more fully, and a big part of growth is "acceptance".
Accept the impermanence of the world, accept the sudden feeling of powerlessness, accept the frustration of loneliness. All this acceptance requires us to have a strong heart, the ability to get along with ourselves, the ability to deal with it calmly and work hard to live regardless of good times and adversities.
Perhaps, you can take this opportunity to quietly feel the parent-child time, let the child learn how to calm down, and have the ability to be alone in the future, which can be trained from three aspects.
1. Chat with your child
In the past, adults were busy with work, children were busy studying, and the time they could chat together every day was only one or two hours, maybe some families had not chatted together for a long time, right?
Therefore, parents often feel that their babies have grown up in the blink of an eye, complaining that they do not understand the child's mind, and slowly do not know how to communicate with their children.
Then take advantage of this rare "holiday", put down the mobile phone, put down the work, sit by the window with the children, chat about each other's lives, friends who get along with each other, and views on social current affairs. It can not only enhance the parent-child relationship, but also maintain the ability to communicate.
2. The whole family will try to calm down for half an hour and enjoy a quiet time
Some mothers said that the family did not know what to talk about together, which was very embarrassing. Moreover, the child is in a rebellious period, and the two sentences may be disputed, or it is better to avoid it.
If we have trouble communicating temporarily, maybe we can try to sit down, have a drink together, not talk, and just feel the good afternoon together.
You know, it is difficult to communicate with your husband and children now, and if you encounter difficulties later, how will the whole family get along?
3. Cultivate the ability to read
Of all the ways to get along, I think the best way to have a strong heart is to have the ability to read. In this age of information explosion, we have too many channels to obtain new knowledge, but books are the part that can never be absent.
Regarding reading, there is a passage in the circle of friends that I think is particularly good: "No matter what you read, develop your own interest as soon as possible, rely on it in your heart for a lifetime, and produce calm judgment over time." ”
Pillow Parenting Message:
The epidemic is closed at home, many people may miss the days of work, yearning for a free life, but this may be an opportunity for us to have enough time to "empty" ourselves, let the brain calm down and think about life, after the epidemic, continue to pack up and start!
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