There is a female colleague in the company who owes me ten thousand yuan, and every time I ask her for it, every time I drop a sentence: If you want money, you can give it to you. Every time I wondered: What use do I want you to use you for a big living person?

There is a female colleague in the company who owes me ten thousand yuan, and every time I ask her for it, every time I drop a sentence: If you want money, you can give it to you. Every time I wondered: What use do I want you to use you for a big living person? This no, the female colleague came to me again, I thought she figured out the money for me, did not expect the female colleague to say: Brother, discuss with you about a matter of no, you see, I do not have so much money to pay you back for the time being, otherwise, I will give you a girlfriend, and then pay you back the money in installments until it is paid off. I thought to myself: if the money is not returned, I can change my girlfriend and go home, so I agreed. That night she stayed at my house with her luggage. But she didn't break her promise, and every day before I went out, she would throw me a ten-dollar bill, and the condition for receiving this huge amount of money was that she would wash and cook for her every day, and more importantly, the money was still paid from my pay card. Those who owe money are uncles, and I believe this!

1． There was a man who was dying, and in the hospital room, he said to his wife: I want to meet my lover. His daughter-in-law called her lover, and when she saw her, he cried, saying that she was most sorry in this life, and that she could not be given a name, and if she had to meet her in the next life, and then continue the frontier, the last and most reluctant thing in life was her, that is, the dead soul loved her. After saying goodbye to his lover, he called his daughter-in-law and gave him a passbook: This is my life's savings, there are 800,000 in it, you keep it. Ask the question: Does this man love his wife or a lover?

2． My daughter-in-law, every time she pays public grain, she subsidizes me with 100 ocean allowance fees! The first few months are OK, and the monthly pocket money is relatively rich. These two months are almost, the weather is hot, and it is a bit excessive, and recently it has been tighter. In order to increase my enthusiasm for paying grain, my daughter-in-law increased the subsidy to 150. To be honest, that's 50 more, and the attraction is quite big!!! 3. My husband treats his mobile phone as his father, and he does not leave his mobile phone all day. Today, when the child returned home after work, he immediately held the mobile phone to play again.

I finally broke out, yelling, "Play, play! Play every day! When will you find out that the child is not your own! ”

The husband was furious when he heard it: "You, you, you..."

I roared, "When are you coming!" You go to the living room to see, is it your son you picked up from kindergarten? ”

3. Recently, I was estranged from my wife because I was busy doing game tasks every day, and she directly deducted my living expenses in a rage!! In a few days, I didn't even have the money to eat, so I had to go to my buddies' house to rub rice. He said: You don't even have the money for dinner, why don't you ask your sister-in-law for it?? Me: I wanted it, she punched it in, I didn't pick it up. Dude: Why don't you take it? Me: She said the password was the date of the day our brother first saw the movie, and I... Dude: Don't say it, I understand!! Come on, the instant noodles are soaked, let's eat it.

4. I brought two Chinese icons and two bottles of Maotai to the manager's house during the festival, and the manager warmly invited me to sit down. However, I have been not good at words and sat down to chat for a few words, which was a bit cold, so I quit. Before leaving, the boss's son watched me leave with expectant eyes. As a result, I went downstairs and found that I didn't have my mobile phone, so I went back. Just heard the boss's son ask: Dad, this uncle is usually very stupid, right? Boss: How do you see that? Boss son: All cold, I don't know to ask my results, I scored 100 points this time!

5. Ever since I lost 50 million yuan in demolition, I have been staying at home and doing nothing. Then I got bored, so I got a job out there. On this day, I was at work, and I was addicted to smoking, so I squatted in the corner of the toilet and secretly smoked. Just after taking a sip, a strange female supervisor came over. Seeing that some employees smoked, the female supervisor walked over and denounced: "The company can't smoke, do you smoke the boss knows?" I was not afraid at all, and immediately retorted: "You talk to strange men at will, does your husband agree?" ”

6. After work at the construction site, I went to the ramen restaurant to eat noodles, divided into large bowls and small bowls, and the boss pushed!! Recommend me for a small bowl. Based on a clear understanding of the amount of my meal, I insisted on a large bowl, and the boss was particularly surprised to see that I had finished eating. The second time I went to eat, the boss was happy to see me: come to a big bowl? The loud voice provoked the people in the store to look at me, and I resisted the pressure and whispered: A big bowl, a small bowl, last time... Didn't eat enough.

7. This morning, there were a lot of people in the breakfast shop downstairs of our house, so a young couple and I shared a table and sat across from me. The girls were very good-looking, so I looked at them twice more, and I didn't expect to be discovered by the boys. He snapped a Volkswagen car key on the table to scare me! So I put a Ferrari car key, Cadillac and Lincoln icon, and several car keys I threw on the table, the man led the woman gray away... Really, you and I have a key to what to pack!

8. When I went to work today, I found that a female colleague who had never been late was actually late today. Just as I was wondering, she came into the office and the boss asked, "Why are you late?" She explained: "I just saw a car accident on the road, a man was thrown out of the car, he broke his leg, his head was also scratched, bleeding a lot, fortunately I learned surgical first aid." Boss: "So how did you deal with it?" She said in horror: "I sat on the ground with my head on my knees, so that I was not frightened to faint." ”

9. Recently, my wife had to learn to cook on a whim, and as a result, when she poured oil, she burned her hands. Wife: "Husband, my hand is burned, it hurts!" Me: "Didn't you tell you that toothpaste can relieve pain?" Wife: "I know, but I have already taken a tube of toothpaste, and it still hurts!" Me: "Mom, let's go to the hospital first and see our brains..."

10. In my freshman year, my buddies started chasing school flowers, and it's been almost five years now. During the confession several times, the school flower did not agree, saying that the buddies were naïve. Tonight, the four of us were drinking, and he was very drunk and was going to go to the school flower to confess. When I arrived at the door of the school flower, I confessed to the school flower, and the school flower smiled and agreed. Then the buddy actually said: We found the wrong person, she will not agree with me... # Funny Scene of the Year # #搞笑一刻 #