1. The husband is drunk and returns late, the wife has a plan, wants to test whether he has an affair, so he put on lipstick and deliberately kissed her husband's clothes! The next day, the husband woke up drunk, and the wife was born

1. The husband is drunk and late, the wife has a plan, want to test whether he has an affair, so he put on lipstick and deliberately kissed her husband's clothes! The next day, the husband woke up drunk, and the wife was angry: What were you doing outside last night, you look at this lipstick mark! Husband looked at it and laughed! Wife: You made a mistake and laughed! Husband: Wife, don't be funny, such a big lipstick mark, who else but you has such a big mouth!

2. Scammer: Hello, I am a customer service of the bank, your bank card spent fifty thousand yuan in India, right? Card Master: Yes. Scammer: We want to verify your spending. Cardholder: I spent 50,000 yuan on Hindu oil. Scammer: You're in the nutraceutical business. Card master: No, I bought Hindu fried fritters for

3. Look at a pair of shoes in the mall, take a look, the salesman said coldly: 68888 yuan, do not buy do not touch, touch dirty can not afford to lose. As soon as I heard it, I said angrily: Wrap it up for me, don't touch it with your hands, I don't want to touch it! The salesman's face was green, and he was busy packing his shoes with gloves and issuing invoices. I asked: Where to pay the money? The waiter said: In front. I took the ticket and walked around, wandered out of the mall gate, no money! I'm also willful.

4. There is a very famous tofu brain stall downstairs from our house, which I often eat. His tofu brain has been sold for several years and has always been a may-one bowl. Once I bought a bowl of tofu brain to eat in the morning, the boss asked me for four coins, I did not catch it. As a result, we both watched the coin fall into the tofu brain pot and immediately sank to the bottom... The boss immediately returned the five dollars to me and said: Don't say anything, this bowl counts as I asked you!

5. Dude is a gym instructor who is attracted to a rich woman. The rich woman gave him a Ferrari, and the buddies happily invited us to a roadside stall for beer and skewers. While eating, a strange man came up and said, "Little brothers, excuse me, I want to take pictures of your table." Before we could speak, he picked up his phone and took a few shots of a table of cigarettes and beer skewers. After taking the photo, the man held the mobile phone not far away for a while, and then shouted at the mobile phone: "Daughter-in-law, did you receive my photo??" I was really drinking and chatting with my buddies and going back later. After saying that, he put away his mobile phone, whistled, and walked into the Internet café in a dashing manner...

6. After the demolition of his brother's hometown, he opened an online loan company. That time, while flipping through the report, I found a man who always did not pay back. So he decided to ask for money himself, and when he got to the man's house, he was killing a pig. The buddy unceremoniously asked: Do you pay back the money? The man said pitifully: Oh, I really can't get money at home, you wait a little longer... The buddy pointed to the pig and said, "No money?" No money how to kill pigs to eat! The man immediately said: Don't misunderstand, kill it because I really don't have anything to feed it!

7. When my sister was working in the south, she fell in love with a college student, but she married the college student under the persuasion of her parents. A few days ago, my sister and brother-in-law had a quarrel, so I came home with my three-year-old daughter in my arms. Last night the family had dinner, the sister's three-year-old daughter was crying and making trouble, so that the whole family did not have the heart to eat, the sister finally couldn't help but grab her for a while, and then she was going to fight. The mother immediately stopped her and said: "You are crazy when the child is so young!" My sister said: Mom, you don't know, every time she comes to this point of eating, it seems to be deliberately angry with me! Mom said: How could I not know, isn't it just like when you were a child?

8. Since the beginning of the little niece's memory, she has been very close to me, and my sister-in-law is sometimes jealous. Every day when I came home from work, my little niece would come up and ask me to wrap her up and kiss her. I just arrived home today, and as soon as I entered the door, the little girl ran over to me to kiss me. I kissed it, it was probably hot, and the little niece had a bit of a Han flavor on her. I laughed and teased and asked: Little beauty, why does she have a bad smell on her body? She listened, and suddenly she said: Sister-in-law, I am expired, expired...

 #Funny##Funny paragraph# #今日笑料 #