1, when I was a child, the barber shop near our house was two dollars for adults and one dollar for children, I seemed to be only five or six years old, and my family often gave me a dollar to get a haircut, and I bought it first every time

1, when I was a child, the barber shop near our home adults two dollars a child a dollar, I seem to be only five or six years old, the family often give a dollar for me to go to the haircut, I always buy fifty cents of sugar and then go to the haircut, to the barbershop, I said to give me a haircut of fifty cents, because the boss and my family adults know me to give me a cut, never been found by the family One day, I told my good partner about this haircut, the next day he went home with a half-cut head!

2. When the classmates gathered, I added the class flower WeChat, and I forgot the note. Yesterday, Ban Hua sent me a WeChat message saying: "Brother, I miss you!" I didn't know who she was at the time, but I politely replied, "I miss you too!" "As a result, when the message was sent, the dialog box was chatting with a female colleague, which was good, she misunderstood, and did not reply to my message." I thought about it for a moment and then wrote, "I'm sorry, I made a mistake!" The female colleague replied in seconds: "Brother, you add my trumpet!" "Oh, what she means, it seems that it is really misunderstood, do I want to explain it in person, anyway, her husband is on a business trip, and she is alone at home."

3, the cousin gave birth yesterday, I and my mother went to see, and then saw the brother-in-law's head was beaten, I asked him what he did, he told me with grievances, just saw the child shouted a sentence "wocao, this special whose baby, is not holding the wrong, so ugly!" Then the cousin heard and threw the lunch box she had just finished eating

4, there are families in the village, 3 daughters, the eldest daughter got married and received 20,000 gifts, the homecoming woman brought 40,000 back, the second daughter married 30,000 gifts, went home to bring 60,000 back, think about such a good thing, a bite to borrow 100,000 yuan, married the third, and then, my wife is now with me to pay off the debt!

5, called her mother, she said that she felt more and more old. I asked, "Do you want to go back to how you felt a few years ago?" She sighed and said, "I want to think, but it's unlikely!" What's so hard about that, look at me! I hung up the phone and dialed it again, and said, "Mom, I don't have any money, give me some living expenses."

6. After graduating from college, he went to the Internet company to become the supervisor of the security group. The work is still relatively easy, that is, to receive safety inspections, prevent accidents, check for omissions and fire drills. When there was nothing to do, he drank tea with his brothers in the office, and a security captain drank his jasmine tea comfortably at noon today. Suddenly the guy slammed the table and scolded, and we were confused, thinking that we had suddenly fallen ill. It turned out that when he had just drunk tea, he saw a big jasmine flower in the cup, and he kept blowing the flower and was reluctant to drink it. When I finished drinking the tea, I found that it was actually a big moth!

7, gave the mother-in-law's family a dowry of 500,000, and happily married his wife into the door. On the second day of marriage, my wife went to bed and looked at her mobile phone, looked at it, put down her mobile phone and continued to sleep. I asked: What came from, is it unseemly? Wife: It was a spam message. I don't believe that when I opened the message, it was sent by my mother-in-law, which said: Your brother is about to get married, can you manage your son-in-law to give me 1 million? Me: Sure enough, it was a spam message.

8, the company's beautiful female colleagues are in good shape, but the clothes she has recently worn are loose and loose, making it difficult to see her good figure. Finally, one day, I couldn't resist my curiosity and asked her, "Why is your figure so good, you always have to wear loose and loose clothes?" Beauty colleagues said, "Last year I was pregnant, I bought too many loose clothes and didn't wear them, and my husband said that he was not allowed to buy new ones without wearing them badly"!

9, customer: boss how to sell this fish? Owner: 12 bucks a pound! Customer: Too expensive, don't! The boss pointed to the side: the fish just died, 8 pieces a pound! Customer: That... How did it die? The boss gave him a blank look: no one bought it, angry to death! Hahaha! Don't get angry anymore! It's not worth it to be angry!

10, not to work today, thinking about going to the supermarket, to the underwear store to buy underwear, found that underwear is more expensive than the coat I wear, but still bought it with my heart. When I got home, my mother said you can't buy such an expensive one. I said no, underwear is not easy to sag, mom said silently, it's okay, your little

11, when driving around the mall today, I saw a lady reversing there, pouring several times without parking in the parking space, seeing that I was in a hurry, and then I began to direct her, let her see how I parked, once successful! Later, I explained to her the essentials of parking, and then the lady now went to find a parking space.

12, today is my first day of employment, I parked the car downstairs in the company, ready to lock the car up. At this time, a group of female colleagues gathered around, and they couldn't believe that I, a newcomer who had just started a job, had bought such a good car. I proudly patted the pink body and asked, "How's it going, take you for a ride after work?" At this time, a girl couldn't help but reply: Hey! Isn't it, you're a broken bike painted pink and have a remote lock, is that a match?

13, when I took the subway to work today, I was surrounded by two elderly mothers. I heard the two of them discussing having a second child. A big mother said: "Oh, it is useless to have a second child, too many children are too tiring!" Another aunt said, "You have to have a second child!" You look at Wu Dalang, if it wasn't for his mother giving birth to Wu Song, who would have given him a retribution later? "I thought about it, and it seems to make sense!" 1、

14, the landlord went downstairs to buy cigarettes, quite a posture of the small supermarket owner lady was frightened by the lightning explosion thunder "snort" a throat into the landlord's arms ... The landlord said: Lady boss, it is too exaggerated, buying packs of cigarettes are such a good welfare. The hostess blushed slightly, and quickly returned to her usual sharp teeth: big brother, the small shop is engaged in promotions today, buying things and giving hugs. Hostess, another bottle of soy sauce...