1. Husband: "Columbus certainly has no wife." Otherwise, he wouldn't have found any continent. Wife: "Why is that?" Husband: "If Columbus had a wife, before going out to sea."

1. Husband: "Columbus certainly has no wife." Otherwise, he wouldn't have found any continent. Wife: "Why is that?" Husband: "If Columbus had a wife, before going to sea, she would definitely ask Columbus, where are you going?" Why go? Can I help you? Who to go with? How much time to go? Wife: "Of course Columbus should have made these things clear!" ”

2. Recently, I heard that an honest uncle in the village is going to remarry. I said, "Uncle, you are in your sixties this year, your wife is only 28 years old this year, how can she like you, she must be cheating on marriage, you don't want to be fooled!" Uncle: "I've lived to be sixty-two years old, with a deposit of 2,000 yuan, a house with five broken earthen houses, what can she lie to me?" Me: "Uncle, you don't know, just by the word "demolition" on your room, don't say 28, 18 women can still find it!" ”

3. There are 23 pairs of human chromosomes. One day, the old man who taught biology asked slowly, "How many chromosomes are right, students." A certain second cargo in the corner replied loudly: "64 pairs!" The old man nodded calmly and seriously, "Well, tell me now, what is your purpose in coming to Earth?" ”

4, my cousin said to me angrily: "Men are big pig's hooves" I asked curiously, "Who messed with you again?" My cousin said, "Take the bus today, a man's hand is behind me, and I said calmly, "Sister! This is not called a big pig's trotter! ”

5, today I do a train to go on a business trip, I sit opposite a girl with a clear eyebrow. I felt that the two of us were very close, so I was ready to go for a conversation. Feeling that horoscopes girls generally understand, I decided to start with horoscopes. So he took out Yida, smiled and said: Sister, what kind of seat are you? The girl looked up: You are blind, I am a hard seat!

6, today's blind date, the girl has long hair fluttering, behaves decently, falls generously, especially her bright smile, let my heart and her no sense of distance! I was thinking that if I was lucky enough, I would cherish the girl in front of me! "Can I take a picture with you?" As soon as I heard this, I excitedly said yes! After the shooting, she stood up: "I don't want to go on a blind date at all, after seeing the photo of you and me, I think my parents will definitely not force me to go on a blind date again, today is like this, this table of dishes has been paid, you eat slowly, bye bye ..."

7, this morning I just sat down in the office, I received a call from the boss, after connecting, he directly yelled: Where are you? It should be 8 o'clock to work, you see it's 8:30 now! I said calmly: I'm sitting in my office. Boss: Don't pretend, I'll be standing in your office! Me: I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you I have a new job.

8, I usually smoke a cigarette before going to bed and then sleep, my mother often says me for this. One year I smoked in the window for the New Year and lit the quilt again, and I was happy to text my girlfriend saying: This year I am definitely on fire, I burned the quilt. The girlfriend replied with concern: "Then your mother didn't say anything about you, right?" I texted her back: "No, as soon as my mother entered the house, she asked me very concerned, why didn't she burn you to death!" ”

9. When I was interning at JDB, I was taken in by the female boss and promoted me to a private secretary. In order to facilitate my work, I stayed in the landlady's villa. Some time ago, the landlady was planning to lose weight, please I must supervise her. It was 12 o'clock last night, and I suddenly heard movement in the kitchen, so I got up to look. I saw the landlady open the refrigerator and was stealing a cake. Me: Boss, didn't you say you were going to lose weight? Landlady: I'm just eating breakfast tomorrow, do you want to be together?

10, Mrs. Xie manages her husband strictly, no matter where she goes, she will follow, like a shadow, to prevent him from cheating. A few days ago, my mother-in-law called and said that she was uncomfortable, so Mrs. Xie went back to her mother's house to take care of her mother. Old Xie decided to go out for a walk in the East End, he put on his suit and habitually put his hand into his pocket to see if he had any money with him. As a result, I touched a note that read: "You are dressed so neatly, what do you want to do?" ”

11. Chat with the salesman at the customer's place today. Tohoku girl: "Brother, do you have a girlfriend?" Me: "Yes." Do you see me like someone without a girlfriend? Sister: "Brother, you must have money in this line of work." Me: "Rich people still come to run a gem business." Sister: "As far as your looks are concerned, your girlfriend must have smashed it with money..."

12, at night, when your wife usually sleeps, if she is not sleeping, and she is still very energetic, you must pay attention. You'd better go to the unit to work overtime, if you really can't do it, just do a night off, remember to cut your hand with a knife, and shout loudly. So she was embarrassed, advice to all the male compatriots.

13, all the giant pandas in the world are Chinese. Giant pandas are China's national treasures and rare animals that are unique only to China, so if you see giant pandas in other countries in the world, you can be sure that they are all leased from China.

14, after graduating from college, I opened a clothing store, and casually got an online store to sell clothes! Today a girl bought two couple outfits, one L number and one XXL number. I smiled and said: Your boyfriend must be tall, right? Girl: No, he's only one meter seven. I wondered: Then why did you buy him XXL clothes? Girl: No, the XXL number is what I wore!