Two days ago, I saw a parent in the circle of friends worried:
"Children complain that they study every day in their lives, usually when they go to school, and when it comes to winter vacation, they still study, which is too boring!"
The parent is also reflecting on whether he is too tight on his child's learning, resulting in high pressure and resistance to his child.
Many parents in life feel anxious and feel that educating their children is very tiring, and a large part of the reason is that they only focus on their children's learning and regard grades as more important than anything else.
In fact, in addition to grades, there are many important things that have a profound impact on the development and happiness of children's lives.
Parents with patterns will not only focus on their children's learning, they know how to invest in the following 4 aspects, and educate their children better.
01
Child-rearing
There was a news report that in a bookstore in Beijing, a boy was learning English from a foreign teacher, but he did not control his volume, and for nearly two hours, the other guests were quietly reading, and only he was reading aloud.
The clerk, worried about disturbing other customers, stepped forward to remind the boy to be quieter. As a result, the boy suddenly got up, pointed to the clerk and said, "You take care of me!" Believe it or not I smoke you, I complain about you. ”
Words and deeds in public places can best reflect a person's etiquette and upbringing.
A child, even if the grades are good, if the lack of parenting this lesson, is the lack of a very important "soft power", it is difficult to enter the society to go far.
Albert Einstein once said:
"It is not enough to educate people with professional knowledge, through professional education, it can become a useful machine, but it cannot become a harmonious development of people."
For the student to have an understanding of values and to develop strong feelings, that is the most basic, he must acquire a discernment of beauty and moral goodness, otherwise he is more like a well-educated dog than a harmoniously developing man. ”
In daily life, in addition to learning, parents should help their children start from an early age, talk about civilization, understand politeness, think about others, and lead by example, so that children can see the appearance of good upbringing.
Such as: master the commonly used polite language, "thank you", "please", "sorry", etc.; pay attention to etiquette at the table;
Lower the volume in public, standardize behavior, and try not to disturb others;
There are rules for visiting other people's homes, and you must seek the consent of others before using other people's things;
Have a sense of rules, integrity and punctuality, orderly queuing, first come, first served;
Have social morality, care for environmental health, public property, and be helpful.
"People's Daily" once summed up 40 parenting etiquette that parents should teach their children, divided into moral articles, social articles, and outdoor articles, which are very detailed, and parents can use the summer vacation to guide their children well.
For example: don't deliberately spy on the privacy of others; the smaller the promise, the more you must keep it; think of a solution before encountering trouble; treat everyone politely; be polite to other people's homes; don't scream and run around in public...
Parenting is like a business card of a person, and interacting with educated people always makes people feel like a spring breeze and comfortable.
As the education circle often says: "Poor support, rich support, is not as good as education." ”
02
Children's vision and insight
There is an old saying: "Read ten thousand books, travel thousands of miles", which refers to the importance of a person's vision and insight.
What kind of child is it like to see the world?
They are usually not humble, confident and generous;
They look at things more objectively and inclusively, and think more comprehensively about problems;
Broad-minded, empathetic, understanding and understanding of people;
Strong in heart, not too entangled in bad results, dare to face setbacks and find solutions.
Children who have seen the world, the advantages in knowledge reserves and thinking heights, can help them make smarter choices and decisions, and will not follow the crowd and follow the waves.
The story of a 94-year-old single father taking his 4-year-old daughter to ride Tibet was once on the screen.
Starting from April 1, 2020, after obtaining his daughter's consent, the 26-year-old single father Ah Yu made a detailed plan, took his 4-year-old daughter to go around, set off from Dongguan, rode all the way, lasted 71 days, and arrived in Tibet on June 13, with a total journey of more than 4,000 kilometers.
Ayatollah says:
"I wanted to teach her what persistence was through cycling. The traditional concept of parenting emphasizes reading and good grades in order to be successful, but this is not the case in today's education. ”
"I'll take her to see different landscapes. Only if she has traveled more roads and seen the world is big enough, can she make her own choices. ”
The single father's parenting concept has won the praise of many netizens.
Taking children to see this colorful world, bravely facing and overcoming various difficulties along the way, this kind of spiritual "enrichment" can nourish children's lives.
In life, in addition to their children's learning, parents should also pay attention to broadening their children's horizons and cultivating their insights.
Taking children to see the world is not to go out on a trip, spend money to eat a big meal, even if you see the world, really absorb knowledge, think diligently, and see more, you will get something.
Parents can take their children to museums to understand history and culture, feel humanistic arts, cultivate sentiments, and improve aesthetics;
Take the child out to travel, not to go to the flowers, take pictures and punch cards, but do your homework before going, tell the child about the local historical knowledge, cultural characteristics, customs and customs, etc., the child will have a deeper memory and understanding of that place;
Create opportunities for your child to experience new, challenging activities such as attending summer camps, learning skills of interest, and being exposed to nature.
Let children bravely explore, trial and error in the wider world, and gain rich experience and experience.
Of course, the parents' vision and ideological height will also deeply affect the children. Therefore, parents should also keep learning, constantly update their knowledge base and ideological concepts, and grow up with their children.
03
Exercise with kids
A mother I know told me that last summer, she did not report to her child for any class, and his father took her child to do sports, learn to swim and ride a bicycle.
Today's children, academic pressure, long learning time, sitting at the desk every day to study, or stay at home to play mobile phones, watch TV, use more eyes, but the amount of exercise is very insufficient.
Studies have shown that too little outdoor activity is also an important cause of myopia in adolescents.
The importance and value of sport has always been grossly underestimated.
Dr. Wendy A. Suzuki, a professor of neuroscience at New York University, said in a TED talk:
"A study in the United States called the Zero Hour Sports Program shows that exercise helps improve academic performance.
Because when we exercise, we produce dopamine, serotonin and n-adrenaline, these important neurotransmitters can improve your child's all-round state.
Not only that, exercise can also improve children's cardiorespiratory function, vascular function, improve metabolism, improve the body's sensitivity and balance ability, regulate body fat, and make children more energetic.
Exercise can have a protective effect on the brain and improve concentration. ”
Children with exercise habits will be smarter, their brains will respond faster, their cognitive abilities will develop better, and their bodies will be healthier and more energetic.
Many people in today's society do not love sports. Usually there is no time for work, and in his spare time, he only wants to sleep, play mobile phones, eat and drink, and is not willing to spend time on sports and fitness.
As a result, many chronic diseases, obesity, lumbar spine, cervical spine, and problems appear early in young people, and emotions are easy to be depressed, and there is no spirit.
Cultivating the habit of exercise for children from an early age is to give children a healthy, high-quality lifestyle, and this positive impact will accompany him throughout his life.
Therefore, in addition to learning, parents should also pay attention to their children's sports.
Move first, accompany your children to get close to nature, climb mountains, jog, and carry out some outdoor sports;
Swimming, roller skating, cycling, rock climbing, etc. with children;
Try to exercise for more than 30 minutes 3-5 times a week and develop habits.
04
Accompany your child
There is an issue in "Teenagers Say" with the theme: "The mobile phone is the parent's child?" ”
As soon as a boy in the 5th grade got on the roof, he complained that his parents loved to play with mobile phones.
"When I was a kid, I always thought that the phone was my parent's child, because every time I looked up at them, they were staring at the phone intently, and I really didn't know what was in the phone that was more important than me.
Even in order to try to be quiet, do not want me to make trouble, will take the initiative to take the phone to throw me to play. ”
At the end, the child couldn't help but choke: "Mom and Dad, do you put down your mobile phone and accompany me?" ”
In today's society, economic pressure and the helplessness of various real lives make the companionship of parents to their children a scarce commodity;
Mobile phones, games, and entertainment content have made the phenomenon of "hidden disaccompaniment" more and more intense: parents are around their children, but there is no interaction and response, lack of emotional links, and companionship is only "accompanying".
There is a passage in the program "The Reader" that says it well:
"Companionship is warm, and it means that there are people in this world who are willing to give you the best thing, and that is time.
Of course, companionship is also a very common word, day after day, year after year.
In the end, companionship becomes a habit, companionship between husband and wife, companionship of parents to children. ”
Children who can get good companionship from their parents will develop well in terms of mental health, personality, emotional intelligence, and social skills.
On the contrary, children are prone to feel neglected and insecure, which affects the establishment of children's self-confidence and self-worth.
In life, in addition to urging their children to learn, parents should also give their children more high-quality companionship. It is not necessary to have a long time, the key is to see whether the parents have intentions.
During that time, devote yourself wholeheartedly, don't judge much, just enjoy the time with the child, actively respond to what he says, his emotions, and give the child a feeling of trust, dependence, and pleasure.
This kind of high-quality companionship will inject the child's psychological energy with love and help him grow better.
END
This article is reproduced in Qian Zhiliang Studio (ID: qzlzgs), written by | Qian Zhiliang, a famous teacher at Beijing Normal University. Focus on special education, family education, early childhood education. He is the author of "Early Knowledge of Admission", "Early Education of Science", "140 Chinese Characters learned in a hurry", etc.