Almost every parent has a heart that hopes to become a son and a dragon and a daughter to become a phoenix.
So what kind of child is Jackie Chan and Cheng Feng?
From a secular point of view, from an early age, excellent grades, all the way to a famous school, especially to read a world famous school such as Harvard, is definitely a kind.
In recent years, I have also shared many such educational stories with you.
Although each of their children has a different family environment and a different growth path, more or less, they have a lot of educational experience worthy of our reference.
Many mothers have also been curious in the message: "What will happen to these children who have been carefully cultivated since childhood?" ”
It is true that many excellent children are particularly excellent in elementary school, junior high school, or college, but there are few follow-up reports after graduation.
A few days ago, I just saw the current situation report of Fudan goddess Zhang Anqi, and I especially wanted to share her story and experience with you.
Everyone who watched the education news around 2014 may have an impression of Zhang Anqi. She is known as the "Fudan Goddess" by netizens, and is also a new Harvard girl after Liu Yiting.
Her glittering resume is typical of "someone else's child":
Fudan Materials Department GPA first, undergraduate published 5 SCI papers, was admitted to Harvard with a full scholarship, and is also a member of the Mensa Club.
Her social practice skills are also quite outstanding. At the age of 19, he became the youngest English teacher in New Oriental, and earned 50,000 yuan in one summer vacation, achieving financial independence early.
At that time, many netizens called Zhang Anqi "Mensa Goddess" and "All-Round Scholar".
Today, Zhang Anqi is still focused on scientific research and has published more than 30 papers so far. Two of them were also published in the top journal Nano.
Her mentor was the Chinese female scientist Bao Zhenan. Professor Bao is a veritable "big guy" in the international biochemistry class, and being able to work in Professor Bao's laboratory is enough to prove Zhang Anqi's ability.
However, the income from scientific research is not particularly high compared to other popular industries. Zhang Anqi should be considered an ordinary middle class, and has not achieved the so-called "great wealth and great wealth".
But a child's healthy, happy, bold pursuit of ideals, and achievements in the field he loves is not a very big success.
We often mention a saying: every child who turns out to be born has the hard work of his parents behind him.
Zhang Anqi's parents are both middle school teachers, and there are no rich resources for their daughters.
And the child's achievements today are inseparable from the guidance and cultivation of the couple.
Many of the educational methods of Zhang Anqi's parents are also something that our ordinary family can learn from.
01
Even if it's learning
Make your child happy too
In the past two years, the controversy about "happy education" has been very large.
Many people understand happiness education as "it doesn't matter what children learn, just be happy"
In fact, the essence of happy education should be to help children feel happy in learning, find fun, and stimulate learning autonomy.
Mother Zhang herself is a faithful practitioner of this concept of education.
Compared with her peers, Zhang Anqi's knowledge enlightenment is very early.
At the age of 10 months, she began to recognize words, read independently at the age of 5, and learned addition and subtraction within 20 years.
But unlike the kind of children who sacrifice their childhood in order to run, because of Zhang's mother's interesting guidance method, Zhang Anqi's learning has always been relaxed and enjoyable.
For example, knowing the word "wave", Zhang's mother would tell her daughter that "wave" is the "skin" of "water".
With this way of associating memories, children will not have much pressure, but will remember quickly and well.
For example, learning subtraction and addition within 20, Zhang's mother will take out a poker and play games with her daughter.
Each person touches 3 cards, picks out the two largest of them, and then shows the sum while shining out. Whoever gets the big number counts who wins.
This mode of edutainment, the child unconsciously learned the knowledge, and because she felt the fun, Little Angel will also pestering her mother to take the initiative to learn.
After officially going to school, Zhang Anqi's parents never deliberately demanded their children in terms of grades.
Mother Zhang explained that compared with her grades, she pays more attention to her children's correct attitude, good habits and strong curiosity. Because of these qualities, there is no need to force, and high scores will naturally come naturally.
I also think this concept is very reasonable, our children have to learn for more than ten years, if you lose interest early, it is difficult to have the motivation to stick to it.
As she said: The biggest failure in education is to make students bored with school.
We want to raise a child with strong internal drive and self-motivation, and try not to say things like "learning is very hard".
This kind of negative psychological cues makes the child's fear of difficulties flood and his interest in learning decreases.
A really good education should create happy conditions and stimulate the internal driving force of children's learning.
02
Cultivate good relationships
Kids can go further
Mother Zhang's social efforts in her children also made me feel very enlightened.
I've met a lot of parents in my life who don't really want their children to waste their time socially. Or some parents find that their children can't make friends, and they don't know whether adults should help, so they can only rely on their children to grope on their own.
But Zhang's mother feels that lonely children are unhappy and prone to personality problems.
So the couple put a lot of effort into creating all kinds of opportunities for their daughter to make friends.
When Anqi was 5 years old, the family moved to a compound, a new environment, and the children of the neighbors were older than herself, resulting in Anqi's delay in making friends.
In order to help the children, Mother Zhang specially opened an English class to give free tutoring to the children in the hospital.
It was in this class opened by her mother that Anqi made a new little friend.
After her daughter was successful among her peers, her parents took her to other occasions to meet more people.
Like school sports meetings, galas, Zhang mother will take her daughter to the class, or meet big friends, or perform on stage.
At the adult party, the parents also brought Angie to attend as much as possible.
Accustomed to getting along with all kinds of people, Angel's personality has become more and more outgoing and cheerful.
Whether it was a speech or later going to New Oriental to give a lesson, she was very comfortable and witty.
As the famous psychologist Carnegie said: In modern society, 30% of a person's success depends on talent, and 70% depends on interpersonal communication.
From a close perspective, social problems are most likely to affect a child's psychological state and personality development.
In the long run, with good social skills, the child's path will naturally be easier and longer-term.
Bringing children to familiarize themselves with social rules, providing solutions at the right time, or creating conditions to help children make friends like Mother Zhang are all things we can do.
Parents make a good bridge, a bridge for children to go to the big world.
03
Sound personality, independent skills
A score that beats a moment
Compared with the first two items, the zhang family's parents work hardest on the cultivation of their daughter's independence.
Mother Zhang has always believed that if you want to think about your child's future and grow up responsibly, you must let your child be fully prepared for separation.
So when Angel was very young, she began to consciously let the children solve problems on their own.
Once, when 4-year-old Angel wanted to eat ice cream, her mother took out 1 yuan and asked her to buy it herself:
Kiki, the brave child will buy it himself, you just have to say to your aunt, "I want a green mood", and give her the money.
The child was naturally very timid, but at the insistence of her mother, she still compromised.
After a while, the child excitedly held up the ice cream he bought and ran over.
Taking the first step, the child's courage naturally increased, and since then, Angie often helps her parents run errands and buy daily necessities.
In addition to exercising the child's courage, parents also pay special attention to cultivating her self-care ability.
They often say to Zhang Anqi: You are one-third of this family, you should do one-third of the work.
From choosing dishes to cooking, to washing and cleaning, Zhang Anqi has been handy since she was a child.
Classmates also said: Zhang Anqi is a person with a special number in her heart, and she knows what she wants.
Because her mind was particularly correct, Zhang Anqi was not affected by the world and chose to go to the United States to study and become a scientific researcher.
Whether it is self-care in life or independent thinking, this comes from the parents' early exercise and letting go of Angel.
In life, we often hear parents think like this:
The tree is naturally straight, the child is still young, and it is not too late to learn no matter how old it is.
With a kung fu, it is better to let him do two more problems and memorize a few words.
As long as you can get into a prestigious school, you won't be able to work, and you can ask for part-time workers in the future.
But in fact, children's life ability is closely related to their future personality and learning.
A child who will take care of himself, has strong hands-on ability, is willing to endure hardships, and because of this ability, he is more confident.
A child who will take on housework has a strong sense of responsibility, and it is easier to cultivate empathy and gratitude to parents.
The educationalist John Dewey said: Education is not to prepare for life, education is life itself.
If we want our children to be able to have a sound personality and be independent, then the class of life skills, the child must take.
04
When Angel Zhang went to Harvard to study, she wrote a book with her mother to record her growth experience.
On the book cover, Zhang's mother wrote such a sentence:
The family is a school that never stops, I am a greedy educator, and the goal of education is to cultivate a complete person.
And the daughter Zhang Anqi, as she expected, is independent, high emotional intelligence, and the internal drive is also very strong.
If our children can also possess these qualities, they can live happily, happily, and fulfillingly.
Even if he does not go to a prestigious school in the future and does not have a high income, our education will be successful.
Pay attention to the video number of old Xue's whole brain early education
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