In 2021, a video of a "Peking University professor complaining about his scumbag daughter" suddenly became popular.
Professor Ding Yanqing said worriedly:
He is a professor at Peking University, and his wife is also a master's degree graduate from Peking University, but their daughter actually came back to the bottom of the exam.
Facing the camera, he said this helplessly.
"If you don't tutor your homework, your father and daughter will be filial, and you will be a tutor with homework. I taught her to change my life, but she taught me to accept my fate. ”
How did Professor Ding do such a daughter?
Three years have passed, and what are they doing now?
The source of this article is from the official media [Xinhuanet] [Southern Weekly] (link attached at the end of the article). In order to improve the readability of the article, there may be polishing of the details, please read sensibly, for reference only!
The problem of education is emerging
One weekend in October 2020, Ding Yanqing was invited to participate in an outdoor outing organized by her daughter's class.
He overheard a parent triumphantly saying that his child could already recite thousands of English words.
Ding Yanqing felt very unbelievable.
So, he took the initiative to find this parent and wanted to ask the other party for advice on education methods.
Unexpectedly, the parent did not shy away from telling him that his daughter had really mastered more than 1,000 English words.
Hearing this number, Ding Yanqing suddenly felt a little at a loss.
His daughter's English vocabulary is only two or three hundred, which is more than ten times worse than the other party's daughter.
As a senior professor at Peking University and an expert in the field of education, he should have unique insights into children's education.
However, he never realized that he was so careless about his daughter's education.
What made him even more unacceptable was that his daughter actually took the first place in the whole grade in the next exam.
This made Ding Yanqing very angry, she felt that her daughter was simply a "big fool", and she couldn't compare with her when she was a child.
Gifted professor
Ding Yanqing said that when he was 6 years old, he was already able to memorize most of the explanations in the Xinhua dictionary.
At the age of eight, he taught himself the entire mathematics knowledge of junior high school.
In the college entrance examination, Ding Yanqing was easily admitted to his long-cherished Peking University with a perfect score in arts and sciences.
However, Ding Yanqing did not relax his pursuit of knowledge just because he entered university.
During his college years, he focused more on studying educational theories, and in his junior year, he had published a number of research papers in top journals at home and abroad, and his research results were very rich.
After graduating from university, she was retained by Peking University to teach with her outstanding ability, and soon made a name for herself in the field of education.
His research results have been published in important journals at home and abroad for many times, and he is often invited to do academic exchanges in famous foreign universities.
Gradually, Ding Yanqing became one of the leading figures in the field of education in China.
And Ding Yanqing's wife is also an alumnus of Peking University.
They met and fell in love during college, and after graduation, they entered the palace of marriage hand in hand.
However, what the highly educated couple didn't expect was that despite their hard work, their daughter's academic performance was never satisfactory.
In fact, in the years when their daughter was preschool and just entered school, Ding Yanqing and his wife have always adhered to a relatively open educational philosophy.
Free-range education
As a professor at the School of Education at Peking University, Ding Yanqing has in-depth research on child psychology and educational theory.
He firmly believes that children have an innate instinct to learn and explore, and that with proper guidance and sufficient freedom, they can achieve self-driven learning and growth.
Therefore, in her daughter's preschool stage, Ding Yanqing rarely took the initiative to teach her knowledge and skills, but let her explore freely.
He often takes his daughter to parks, museums and other places, encourages her to observe small insects, flowers and trees, and guides her to ask all kinds of strange questions.
Whenever his daughter asked him a question that he couldn't answer, he always smiled and said:
"Dad doesn't know much about this question, but we can look up the information and ask others together to see if we can find the answer. "
What makes Ding Yanqing happy is that in this relatively free environment, her daughter has shown amazing curiosity and creativity.
She often makes small crafts by herself, creates interesting stories, and even learns to make a cup of milk tea by herself.
Seeing his daughter's progress, Ding Yanqing was very pleased, and he believed that his educational philosophy was correct, and he never asked his daughter to participate in various cram schools.
However, in 2020, when my daughter was in kindergarten, the other students in the class applied for various extracurricular training classes, but he was the only one who did not sign up.
When picking up her children from school, Ding Yanqing found that her daughter was very envious of her classmates who could go to cram schools, and offered to sign up for a class as well.
As parents, Ding Yanqing and his wife certainly hope that their children can develop in an all-round way and not feel inferior among their peers.
After repeated considerations, they decided that no matter how much it cost, they would also enroll their daughter in a suitable extracurricular class.
They then compared the projects of the major training institutions in Kunming one by one, and finally selected a well-known LEGO robot training class.
Although the tuition fee was as high as 6,000 yuan, Ding Yanqing and his wife still paid it in one go.
They hope that through this project, they can not only cultivate their daughter's hands-on ability and logical thinking, but also let her learn programming thinking subtly, laying a solid foundation for future learning.
But the good times didn't last long, and my daughter only took two or three classes, and due to the epidemic, the training class had to be suspended.
In this way, this only experience of enrolling in classes ended with my daughter only building Lego a few times.
Ding Yanqing and his wife no longer forced their daughter to register for classes.
However, at this time, Ding Yanqing did not realize that his education method had gone wrong.
It wasn't until her daughter actually entered primary school and began to systematically learn cultural knowledge that Ding Yanqing's education method began to show problems.
Due to the lack of pre-class preparation and after-class review habits, my daughter gradually lagged behind other classmates in her studies.
The homework assigned by the teacher, the daughter often has no idea where to start, writes and changes, changes and writes, and barely completes it until late at night.
At first, Ding Yanqing didn't care.
He felt that his daughter was just not used to the new environment, and she would get better after a while.
But gradually, he discovered that the problem was not so simple.
My daughter's academic performance has always been at the bottom of the class, and it is even worse than the penultimate place.
This made the couple realize that maybe this kind of education was not right, so they decided to change.
Backfire change
After Ding Yanqing realized that there was a problem with his education, he immediately formulated a strict study plan for his daughter.
Asking my daughter to complete her homework on time every day, and also assigned a lot of practice problems.
He insisted on tutoring his daughter in person, meticulously correcting every mistake of his daughter, and even if his daughter made a small mistake, he would immediately reprimand him harshly.
At first, the daughter was able to follow her father's arrangement, but as the pressure of studying increased, the daughter began to resist.
She often hides and plays secretly, is unwilling to complete practice questions, and even deliberately smashes the test papers to anger her father.
But these acts of resistance were regarded by Ding Yanqing as a manifestation of his daughter's lack of progress, and he became more strict, frequently scolding his daughter, and even beating and scolding.
The relationship between father and daughter is becoming more and more strained, and the daughter is becoming more and more tired of studying.
Seeing his daughter becoming more and more rebellious, Ding Yanqing felt very frustrated, so he decided to talk to his daughter.
And it was only then that he realized that his parenting method was too tough and completely ignored his daughter's feelings.
Since then, he has begun to give his daughter space, no longer overly responsible for teaching homework, nor accusing her of bad grades, but encouraging her hobbies.
When he encounters a problem that he can't know, he will guide his daughter to carefully analyze the problem stem and disassemble the complex problem into small steps.
Whenever his daughter gets the topic right, he will give timely praise and encouragement, even if it is just a small improvement.
Ding Yanqing also often tells his daughter some interesting stories about teaching and educating people in college, helping her establish a positive attitude towards learning.
Gradually, the daughter gradually became cheerful, and the relationship between father and daughter was reconciled again.
It was at this time that Ding Yanqing realized that no matter how well his daughter was studying, he would accept it unconditionally.
Accept mediocrity
Ding Yanqing began to try to empathize and understand her thoughts from her daughter's point of view.
He found that although his daughter was lacking in learning, she was quite talented in other areas.
For example, my daughter is very artistic, and she is very good at painting and handicraft;
She is also very sympathetic and often takes the initiative to help students in need, and she is also a lover of small dramas, and she is very engaged in every performance.
Ding Yanqing realized that children are like a piece of jade, and only after careful carving can they show their unique brilliance.
He should not use a fixed mold to set the children, but to teach them according to their aptitude and discover the shining points of each child.
With this understanding, Ding Yanqing let go of the mentality of "hoping that his son will become a dragon" and no longer simply pursued his daughter's academic performance.
He began to spend more time with his daughter, encouraged her to develop a variety of hobbies, and often took her to parent-child activities.
Under the careful guidance of her father, the daughter gradually got out of the haze of being tired of school, and the relationship between the father and daughter became close.
Ding Yanqing accepted his daughter's mediocrity, and he often shared some interesting stories about his daughter on social media.
For example, in the next incident, Ding Yanqing found that her daughter's classmates called her "Teacher Ding", and the reason was that her daughter was often punished for standing.
If he had seen his daughter so unenterprising, he would have been angry as a father, but now he has figured it out:
Every child is unique, and they may be lacking in some areas, but they can shine in others.
As a parent, you must learn to discover your child's shining point, rather than blindly forcing it.
It is only in love and tolerance that children can grow to the fullest.
Bibliography:
1. Xinhuanet: Peking University professor complained about tutoring his daughter's homework.2021-5-28
2. Southern Weekly: A Peking University Scholar's Family Education: I Accept My Daughter Is a Mediocre Child.2021-12-22
3. Professor Ding Yanqing's personal social platform