1. Just changed a new number, I called my wife to flirt: Honey, what are you doing? Wife: Who are you? Me: Honey, we've all seen each other the night before, how's that?

1. Just changed a new number, I called my wife to flirt: Honey, what are you doing? Wife: Who are you? Me: Honey, we all met the night before, how come we don't remember me so quickly? Wife: What night is it?

2. After the holidays, I drove to Mount Emei alone and found a hotel to stay in at night. At eleven o'clock, I was taking a shower when I suddenly heard someone knocking on the door, and I wrapped up my bath towel to open the door, and found a beautiful woman with a bottle of red wine and two wine glasses in her hand. She said she lived next door to me, couldn't sleep because she had some coffee, and wanted to talk to me and have some wine with her. I gladly let her into the house. She said that her name is Xu Haiyan, is from Jiangsu, come here to travel, I asked her why she did not bring a boyfriend, she said with a bitter smile, I don't know where my boyfriend lives, what his name is. I smiled and said, what a coincidence, I don't know what my girlfriend looks like, what she likes, what she doesn't like. Xu Haiyan and I looked at each other and smiled, and felt a lot closer... Smelling the perfume on her body, I was fascinated... I didn't expect to go out on a trip, and actually picked up a girlfriend, which was really profitable. I whispered, "I'll be good to you in the future." She snorted, nodded, and said, "I believe you." Drinking the red wine brought by Xu Haiyan, we both imagined the future and felt extremely satisfied. We agreed that after we went back this time, we would quit our jobs and start our own companies together. We make money together, then buy a new house and a new car, and then we get married and work together until we are old. We also have a lot of children, play under our knees, call us mom and dad, think about it is very beautiful... We talked for a long time, we didn't sleep all night, a wave of sleepiness struck, Xu Haiyan's face gradually blurred in front of me, I yawned, my eyes were dark, and I fell asleep. I don't know how long later, I slowly woke up and found myself lying in a bathtub with a small note next to it.

3 Girlfriend met a rich second generation some time ago, and he has been chasing girlfriends. I just can't understand, isn't he just a little richer than me, just driving a Ferrari? Colleagues in the same dormitory comforted me when they saw it, and I didn't want to hear it. He said: It is not worth getting angry with that kind of woman, it is not good for the body, it is bad for the body, you are a poor ghost and have no money to buy medicine!

4. An old man sells meat sandwiches at the entrance of a middle school. The meat sandwich buns he made tasted particularly good, and I often took care of his business. At the beginning of this semester, I found that he had changed to selling scallion oil cakes, so I asked him: "You bought that meat sandwich steamed bun business before, why don't you sell it?" Uncle Cried and said with a sad face: "You may not believe it, but after a summer vacation, I forgot the recipe for meat sandwich steamed buns!" ”

5. My husband is driving a BMW 840 and plans to take me on a road trip. I thought of my sister's recent loss of love, and I wanted to take her to a walk. The husband refused: We are two people in the world, what do you want her to do? Me: I haven't seen you so excited, what happened today? Husband: Your sister's physique, a trip in our car will cost 100 yuan more oil, are you willing to do it? I mused: There seems to be some truth to it...

6 One day, two Qigong masters!! The division must decide the victory or defeat. Little Master: "I really pinch the sweat for Master, the other party is very powerful!" Senior Disciple: "Rest assured, our master will definitely win." Little Master: "Why is Master So confident?" Big Apprentice: "When I was cooking at noon today, I put some more turnips on Master, and the qi in our Master's body is definitely enough now!" You'll see later! ”

7. Through the efforts of all our employees, we work 14 hours a day and have two days off in January, creating a profit of 200 million yuan for the boss. Today, the boss held a celebration banquet in the company and invited the chef of the five-star hotel. But suddenly there was a power outage, the dishes were already on the table and could not be stopped, so I bought a large bundle of candles and opened them. Halfway through, the boss asked, "Is anyone celebrating their birthday today?" I thought there would be extra perks and shouted: "Boss, I have a birthday, I have a birthday!" The boss said, "Well, wait a minute, we're done, you're responsible for blowing out all the candles!" ”

8. The long-awaited college entrance examination results have finally come out, and there are really some people who are happy and some who are sad. On this day, the admissions office of a university suddenly came with a call from an unfamiliar number. After the connection, a parent hurriedly said: My daughter looks very pretty, that is, the college entrance examination did not do well, can I enter your school? The staff replied lightly: In fact, our school is also very beautiful, that is, the score is a little high.

9. Soon after a couple was newly married, the husband was sent by the company to a foreign country. A year later, the husband returned home from vacation. After a cloudy rain that night, the couple fell asleep. There was a sudden knock at the door in the middle of the night. The husband jumped up from the dream and exclaimed, "Not good! Your husband is back! The wife muttered, "No way, he's abroad!" ”

10. Xiao Wang, a colleague who has worked together for two years, is going to jump ship to another company. Usually everyone has a good relationship, tonight after work out to eat a big meal, for him to practice! After eating, I went to K Song and sent him a blessing, hoping that he would be all right in the new company! The next morning, we saw Xiao Wang's goods enter our office again! Everyone looked at him with puzzled eyes, only to see Xiao Wang slapping his head: "Oh, get used to it!" ”

11. The brother-in-law went out to buy cigarettes, and his Huawei P40pro phone was left at home. Suddenly there was a phone call coming, I looked at the display "10010", I didn't think much about it, just hung up!? After a while, a text message came, and the sender was exactly 10010: "Why don't you answer the phone?" My heart was very worried, and the jewel made God send a call back. On the other side of the phone came my niece's familiar voice: "Dad, why don't you answer my phone?" My living expenses are gone, you hurry up and call me!?" I instantly understood what 10010 meant. #Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #