Text/Summer
01. Preface
Love, when blooming, is colorful, full of dreams, full of sweetness. However, love does not equal marriage. After marriage, marriage is the triviality of life, the ordinary life of chai rice oil and salt.
On the road of life, everywhere is full of tests and run-ins. Many couples seem to love passionately and deeply, but once the test comes, they will easily let go of each other's hands.
And some people, it seems that love is plain, but when the test comes, they can always advance and retreat with each other. Not afraid of wind and rain, not afraid of tribulations, two hearts twisted into a rope, in one direction to exert force.
As Feng Menglong's "Cautionary Circular" wrote: "Husband and wife are originally the same forest bird, and the great trouble is coming to fly separately."
Whether a couple can accompany each other for a lifetime can be seen from the "tribulation".
Couples who can really accompany each other for a lifetime, no matter how big the test they encounter, will not let go of each other's hands. No matter how many trials and tribulations there are in life, you will not be afraid.
Two people, can they accompany each other for a lifetime, to see if they have experienced these "sufferings" together.
If we can treat each other as very important people, more important than our own lives, we can share blessings and difficulties.
02, the "bitterness" of no money
On the road of life, people who love each other have experienced the "suffering" of no money together, then the heart will be closer.
As the saying goes: "Poor couples Pepsi lament". Two people living together without money will lack happiness, have limited ways to express love, and have very little to give to each other.
Two people who truly love each other will accompany each other no matter how difficult it is in front of them and how much suffering they have to endure.
Even if two people live in the basement together, squeeze the bus together, and occasionally go to a small restaurant for a meal, they are satisfied.
Two people who love each other can survive the days of no money together, even if the days are difficult, they do not give up on each other, and they are willing to find ways to get through the difficulties together, then the future days will be better and better.
Two people together, only after experiencing these days without money, feeling sorry for each other's downfall and unambitiousness, will they understand each other's difficulties and bitterness more.
Two people together, after suffering, will work hard together, and the feelings will be stronger.
Being able to stay away from each other in times of suffering is the real couple.
After experiencing the suffering of no money, we will find that each other's love is from the heart, without any additional conditions, so that the feelings are more real and pure.
03, the "pain" of raising children
The more husband and wife can not be afraid of hardships, and carry the "pain" of raising children together, the longer they can go.
Florence Isaacs said: "Taking on obligations is the foundation of a happy and long-lasting marital relationship. ”
Between husband and wife, as parents, they know that from the pregnancy in October to the raising of children after birth and education issues, every step has broken each other's hearts.
Two people, in the parenting and teaching of children, can take on such responsibilities together, which will make each other have a deeper sense of tacit understanding.
However, in life, there are many men who subconsciously push the responsibility of taking care of children directly to their wives, thinking that their efforts to support their families are already the greatest credit.
When two people can't raise children together, can't carry the difficulty and "bitterness" of raising children together, then the gap between two people will become larger and larger.
Women will complain that their husbands do not know how to be considerate, while men feel that women have a lot of things and never know how hard it is for men to make money outside. The two people have a grudge, and it is difficult to restore the relationship to the beginning.
Only when both husband and wife can take the initiative to shoulder the responsibility of raising children, can they truly taste each other's difficulties and give each other enough understanding and attention. In this way, the family will become more and more harmonious, and the marriage will become happier and happier.
04, the "bitterness" of illness
Two people, facing the disease together and firmly grasping each other's hands, will understand how important each other's existence is on the road of life.
Nan Jianlong and Cai Juying in the TV series "Little Shede" have an awkward quarrel, and Nan Jianlong is alone at home, his waist and legs are sore, and he can't eat well and can't sleep.
The clothes were piled up for a week and no one washed them, and the rice bowls were not brushed.
Since he fell ill, it has been Cai Juying who has taken care of him meticulously.
It wasn't until after he had a fight with her that he got sick that he realized that there was no wife around, and he looked pitiful. Only then did he understand that he could not do without each other and knew the importance of his wife.
Cai Juying knew that he was not having a good time, and he was also sitting still, and he kept thinking about going back.
She was worried that Nan Jianlong would not be able to take good care of herself, worried that his condition would worsen. Even if there is a quarrel and a contradiction, she only wants the other party to live well, and the two people have been together.
Two people, can not accompany a lifetime, have a disease, you can see.
Many things in life are unpredictable, especially as you get older. All kinds of pain will slowly appear, testing the hearts of both husband and wife at all times.
If one party has physical problems, the other party can not shrink back, do not escape, and can take on the burden of taking care of their wives, and the feelings between them will become more and more solid.
Conversely, if one partner is sick and the other is unwilling to take care of each other, and always ignores the other's feelings, then the feelings between each other will gradually become estranged.
05. Summary
Two people, if they can be together for a long time, most of them have survived all kinds of hardships in life.
Gorky said: "Marriage is the spiritual union of two people, the purpose of which is to overcome all the difficulties and hardships of the world together. ”
When the romance and dreams of love gradually fade, two people need to continue to move forward in a dull life and meet various challenges.
If, in the face of a little difficulty, two people go against each other, then the feelings will eventually fall apart. Because, when two people are not in the same quadrant, it will be difficult to manage feelings.
When two people, after experiencing the suffering of no money, know more about the preciousness of keeping each other; after surviving the pain of raising children, they can grow up with each other; and they can face the pain together and never give up, there is nothing that can separate each other.
After surviving these three kinds of suffering, the hearts of the two people will be together.
After surviving the hardships of life, we will cherish the feelings between each other more. In this way, the two people will become a whole, and the road ahead can go forward without stopping.
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Author: Xia Mo, a cutting-edge emotional tutor, a psychologist, a popular emotional writer with more than 1 billion people on the Internet, a happy woman manager, who has focused on emotions, gender, and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law for more than ten years.