1. Accompany your wife downstairs to eat KFC. Check out for $98. I touched my pajama pockets and didn't bring any money. The waiter said: "Your wife is here, you can't run, go home and get it!" "I sped to the fifth floor

1. Accompany your wife downstairs to eat KFC. Check out for $98. I touched my pajama pockets and didn't bring any money.

The waiter said: "Your wife is here, you can't run, go home and get it!" "I rushed to the fifth floor and took 100 pieces and rushed back.

Just when I was exhausted and breathless, the waiter greeted me and said, "Hello! A total of 108 yuan. ”

I looked at the big red ticket in my hand and the milk tea in my wife's hand, instantly petrified.

How much you love milk tea, wife! This will not drink or die....

2. The man wanted to take two more days off, so he wrote an application: "Apply for New Year's Day release."

10 days off, please ask the factory director for approval! ”

The next day, the man received a reply: "Disagree! ”

The man had a clever move: "Change the disagreement to the one that agrees."

finish! "Just do it, and quickly change it."

The man took the application for correction and went to the workshop director to apply for leave

continue.

Director: "There's something wrong with you!" ”

Man: "What a problem, the director of the factory did not object!" ”

Director: "If the factory director agrees, he will write: Agree!" But certainly will not write: disagree that that is impossible to drop! ”

3. I stopped the car, the chairman just pushed the door and stood on the ground, a man driving a BMW 530 almost hit him. The chairman was furious: "Are you poor and blind?" The man got out of the car and said, "Poor? Oh, do you know that I have created dozens of millionaires in my life, and there are three or four multi-millionaires, and you dare to call me poor? Do you know who I am? The chairman was a little flustered at the time: "Are you?" The man said, "Hmm, Lao Tzu's house is a floating station!" ”

4. I asked my father, "Dad, my brother-in-law came to visit the New Year today, how much alcohol did my brother-in-law drink?" Dad: "Look at the face and act!" Me: "Oh, I see, if the brother-in-law's face does not change color, I will let him have a few more drinks, if his face is red, let him drink a few cups less, if his face is yellow, I will not let him drink!" Dad: "Pure goods, I am asking you to see your sister's face!" ”

5. I was asleep when I answered a strange phone call. The other person said: "Trouble move your roadside Maserati president, block my car out." Me: "Okay, I'll go now!" Wife: "Your car is the President of Maserati?" Me: "It must be that he made a mistake and didn't know the brand of the car." Wife: "The point is do you have a car?" Me: "Yeah, I don't have a car!" The wife was furious: "Can they tell you to go out and make a clever move?" ”

6. In a restaurant, a family celebrates a child who has been single-recruited by a vocational college. A young waitress slipped under her feet and accidentally spilled the soup on the clothes of prospective college students, and before she could apologize, they began to count: My son and you are the same age, they have been admitted to college, you can't even serve a plate, you don't show up. The hotel supervisor rushed over to make amends: Sorry, she is Shandong's college entrance examination this year, the tuition is free to earn living expenses, she is still a child, do not meet with her in general. At that time, the family's face was the color of pig's liver!

7． Before I could transfer the money, another million arrived, and I helplessly asked my girlfriend, "What's wrong with you today?" Why give me so much money? The girlfriend said, "You forgot, it was my birthday." I said, "How could I have forgotten!" You nag three times a day! The girlfriend snorted and said, "This money is for you, I want you to buy me a birthday present, if it is not enough, tell me, I will transfer it to you." I said helplessly, "Okay! Baby, you put one hundred and twenty hearts! It will definitely surprise you when the time comes. So I reluctantly accepted the one and a half million. No way! In this world, if you want to eat soft rice, there are definitely few soft rice and hard food like me.

8． Our hostess is very tall, and several of our female colleagues are one meter and five. Once talking about height, the hostess took out a leather ruler and measured everyone, and the hostess was out of the limelight! Later, someone proposed to weigh it, because my house was close to the store, so I went home and brought it. When I came back, I didn't see the lady boss, and my colleague said you send it back, otherwise she wouldn't dare to come!

9. A friend introduced me to a girl, and the girl had already thrown up three times. I looked at her so uncomfortable and asked, "Are you unwell?" Or is the dish unappetizing? The girl said calmly: "I will confirm with you again, is the Rolls-Royce at the door yours?" I nodded! Girl: "Well, this dish is very suitable for my appetite, so let's continue eating!" "It feels like this girl is inexplicable...

10. The prince and princess have been living happily in the castle since their marriage. One day the dwarf came to the castle and asked the prince, "Tell me how you saved the princess after she fell ill after eating a poisoned apple." The prince looked fondly into the distance and recalled: "That day, I gently called the name of the princess, and she did not wake up; I wrapped her tightly in my arms, and she did not wake; then, I kissed her lips, and she still did not wake up..." "Later, I slapped her hard, and the princess was sick."

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