Today is January 21st, the nineteenth day of the lunar month.
The annual Spring Festival is coming, walking on the street, you will find more and more people, and the taste of the New Year is gradually thickening.
When I arrived at work in the morning, I listened to my colleague Xiao Qin complain, especially when she imitated a conversation with her husband last night.
Xiao Qin's husband: "This year's New Year or the twenty-ninth day of the Waxing Moon?" How did you buy the New Year goods? ”
Xiao Qin: "Departure?" Whose house to go to? ”
Xiao Qin's husband: "Of course, go to my house for the New Year!" ”
Xiao Qin: "Roll! How far to roll and how far to roll! ”
Then it was a night of back-to-back, and until this morning, the two still didn't say a word and went to work separately.
Xiao Qin said that this time she will never compromise, the two have been married for six years, the first year said that the new daughter-in-law must return to the man's home for the New Year, the second year the son was just born can not be tossed around, the third year to move to a new house must be in the new house for the New Year.
There has always been a reason and an excuse, only during the Spring Festival of the fourth year, Xiao Qin rushed back to his hometown in Shandong for the New Year in the evening of Chinese New Year's Eve.
Xiao Qin's husband still kept his face on the face, and on the third day of the Chinese New Year, he came back with Xiao Qin's mother and son in a hurry, and Xiao Qin was so angry that xiao Qin had a cold war with him for more than half a month.
Because he did not return to his hometown last year, Xiao Qin had already planned in his heart, according to the principle of taking turns every year, this year should also return to his hometown for the New Year.
Who ever wanted Xiao Qin's husband to pretend to be deaf and dumb, and wanted to preemptively prevent Xiao Qin from returning to his hometown for the New Year, without even discussing a word.
So the question is: who should I go back to on the Chinese New Year's Eve and the first day of the Chinese New Year, the most important two days of the New Year?
【1】
In the small family for the New Year, the mother-in-law's family, the mother-in-law's family.
I will first talk about my arrangement, I have been married to my husband for 13 years, and after 6 years of marriage, I bought a new house and had my own small home.
In the years before moving, Chinese New Year's Eve and the first day of the New Year spent at the in-laws' house; in the years after the move, Chinese New Year's Eve and the first day of the New Year spent in their own small homes, but the reunion dinner was eaten at the in-laws' house.
On the second day of the Chinese New Year, I took my husband and son back to my mother's house to play, and then until the sixth day of the Chinese New Year, I took my son to my mother's house every day, and my husband played with his friends.
Among them, whether the mother's family or in-laws have relatives gathering or holding a banquet, we will attend together, and the gift will be given, and the person who should be out will be out.
So we never quarrel over who to go to for the New Year, the most important reason is that the in-laws are close to the mother-in-law's house, 20 minutes by car, he does not restrict me to go back to the mother's house, I do not restrict his friends to eat.
There is another reason here, my husband is an only child, and I still have my sister and brother, my parents have a brother and a family to accompany the New Year, if we go back to our mother-in-law's house, the in-laws will be deserted.
【2】
Chinese New Year's Eve meals are eaten in turn, and the New Year is in the small family.
There is a little cousin in my family's relatives, he is an only child, he found a wife of an only daughter, from before marriage, he negotiated, Chinese New Year's Eve meals in turn in the in-laws' house and the mother's house.
Eat at your in-laws' house this year, you will eat at your mother's house next year, and because the two families are more than an hour's drive away, there has been no contradiction.
Later, the child gradually grew older, wanted to go back to his small home at night to keep the age, after consultation between the two families, Chinese New Year's Eve eat at the in-laws' house, then eat at the mother's house on the first day of the New Year, and then rotate the next year.
The little cousin said that it was very harmonious to do so, taking into account the in-laws and the mother-in-law's family, as well as their own small family is also popular, the important thing is that no one takes advantage of anyone, and everyone respects each other.
Another year, they played a new trick, that is, to make Chinese New Year's Eve meal in their own small home, invited the four elderly people to eat together, until they had eaten at noon on the first day of the New Year, and then sent the old people home to visit relatives and friends.
The premise of this is that both husband and wife are only children, and the distance between the in-laws and the mother-in-law's family cannot be too far, and it will not be too difficult to operate.
【3】
The two families take turns to celebrate the New Year, setting aside two days in the small home.
In fact, like Xiao Qin and his wife, the distance between the in-laws and the mother-in-law's family is relatively far, and even the situation across provinces, the best way to operate is to spend the Chinese New Year's Eve in the in-laws' house this year to the fourth grade, and next year to the mother's house to Chinese New Year's Eve to the fourth grade.
No matter who you go to for the New Year, you must set aside at least two days in your own small home, one is that the long-distance travel is too tired and needs time to rest, and the other is not to let the small family have no fireworks.
Because no matter which family for the New Year, the stay is relatively long, there will be a situation where one party is unwilling to go to the other party's home, especially many men are not willing to go to the mother-in-law's house.
At this time, it is easy to contradict each other, either men play rogues and resolutely do not go, or men go and hang their faces, making everyone unhappy.
Whether a woman can adhere to the principle depends on whether she can hold a man in normal times, not a noisy one, but whether there is a right to speak of economic independence.
As long as you can be independent, then don't care what attitude the man has, take the child with you, go back directly with gifts, and let the man go to the New Year alone!
【4】
In the small family for the New Year, no one will go to the house.
I heard the story of a friend who was almost 50 years old, and from the beginning of their marriage, they spent the New Year in their own small home, and Chinese New Year's Eve to the first day of the Chinese New Year, they all cooked in the small family.
Because men do not want to see their in-laws, and women do not want to see their in-laws, they simply do not see anyone, and their parents visit and filial piety on their own.
The couple is equal in terms of earning ability, no one can convince anyone, no one can bully anyone, they have quarreled and fought, but they have not reached the point of divorce, so this pattern has been formed.
After so many years, they have become accustomed to this model, and now that their sons are older, they have talked about their girlfriends, and they are preparing to visit the New Year this year, and they are even more in their own small homes.
I think it's good to do this, the other person's parents are just the other person's parents, if it is not because two people are married, the other person's parents are strangers to themselves.
Why get together in the festive atmosphere of the New Year? No one wants to look at anyone's stinky face, so it is better not to see and not be bothered.
【5】
No matter which new year's mode, we have to go through this annual Chinese New Year festival.
You can't escape, don't be too quarrelsome, can't change others, just do what you want.
People living in this world can only spend dozens of Spring Festivals in a lifetime, if they can't go along with their own wishes, then what is the point?