Bringing up children is the last thing parents should be lazy about.
Now there is a new kind of filial piety: young people only give birth and do not raise children, and the burden of raising babies with babies falls on the shoulders of the elderly.
Grandma took two babies for three years and suffered from depression
Aunt Li retired and lived quite moistly in her hometown, and the nightmare began when her daughter gave birth to a second treasure and asked her to take the baby. Less than half a year with the baby, Aunt Li lost more than 10 pounds, went to the hospital to check, and suffered from moderate depression.
Aunt Li confessed to Dr. Zhang, "It's really tiring to take my grandchildren now, and I'm afraid that I'll have a mistake." The most feared is that the child is sick, and the daughter and son-in-law complain. What is even more humiliating is that helping to bring up the children is also complained about by the son-in-law from time to time. ”
Aunt Li's story is by no means an exception, and the old man has become the main force with the baby.
According to statistics, 60%-70% of children under the age of 2 and a half are cared for by their grandparents, and 40% after the age of 3. The reporter randomly selected 12 elderly people to interview, and more than 70% of the elderly said: Having taken a baby, they are tired and afraid, and then bring another one, and they have a weak heart.
Dr. Zhang also said that among the insomniac elderly who receive treatment every day, three achievements are caused by baby-bearing and emotional anxiety.
Dr. Feng pointed out that with the liberalization of the "comprehensive two-child" policy, the pressure on the elderly to bring children is increasing, and the number of elderly people with emotional disorders has increased significantly.
In the past, there were three filial pieties, and no queen was greater.
And now there is a new kind of filial piety: young people only give birth and do not raise, and the burden of raising babies with babies falls on the shoulders of the elderly.
In life, this new filial piety can be quite a lot.
After giving birth to a child, throw it to the elderly
Bao Wenjing of "Mom is Superman" is the epitome of many young parents. 27-year-old baby, normal mother age, but she also spoiled herself into a baby. Her daughter Dumpling is three years old, and the matter of taking care of Dumplings is still thrown to her grandmother. In order to appear on "Mom is Superman", Grandma temporarily withdrew. Before leaving the venue, Grandma prepared the food and clothing supplies for dumplings and repeatedly explained them. But in Bao Wenjing's hands, cook a supplementary food for the dumplings and cook the paste directly. Dumplings want to, when the mother is scared can't do it: it stinks, it grows so big, I haven't given this to others. Dumplings were made uncomfortable by her, crying and shouting for grandma, when the mother did not coax the baby, followed by crying, because the child only recognizes grandma, he has no sense of existence. Nonsense! The child is three years old, except for those ten months, you have never taken care of her, and accompanying her is also playing with her mobile phone. She kisses toys, not you.
The old man with the baby will also be complained about
The old man gave the child a candy mother: "Mom, how many times have I told you, don't give the child sweets." Grandpa: "The child has tears and wants to eat, ten days and half a month to eat one is fine." Mom: "It's useless to tell you, he has tooth decay, he will complain about you." ”
Dump the child to the old man, grow up rebellious, blame the old man for being too doting. Dump the child to the elderly, fall in love early in elementary school, and blame the elderly for not supervising. Dumping children to the elderly, not kissing their parents, blaming the elderly for not teaching well. Twenty-four filial pieties used to mean that children should perform all kinds of filial piety to their parents. Now, in turn, the old man has done twenty-four filial pieties to his grandchildren, and some children are not enough. So exquisite, do you bring your own baby? So capable, do you ask a babysitter to serve you? So delicate, do you take care of the elderly according to high standards? Someone said, "Didn't you urge me to give birth?" Someone said, "Didn't you want to hold your grandson?" Someone said, "You have nothing to do, what's wrong with helping me see the child?" "It is true that the elderly often see their grandchildren and share the joy of the world, but this is not the same thing as letting the elderly mainly carry their babies."
You must understand: the old man has the ability to help the baby, willing to help you, is the love; not to help you, is the duty. Giving birth to a baby is the love instinct of adult men and women, and parenting is the responsibility of mature parents. Bringing up children is the last thing parents should be lazy about. Today the old man helped you with the baby, you should be grateful to Dade. Tomorrow the doll will not kiss you, and you will not complain. The child will not kiss you because you contributed DNA, you have to pee the, you have to use milk powder, rice soup a little bit of watering, the small meat ball into a big fat boy or a white tender little girl, you have to pay first, ta has to rely on. If you want to grow up with you in your heart, you can bring it yourself and try to bring it yourself.
To tell the truth, with your own children, physical fatigue is the truth, but worry is also true. It's never a nice thing to say, because:
Reject outdated parenting concepts
Even if your parents help you with your baby, it is difficult to do as you wish. If you want to be completely satisfied, get tired, and bring it yourself.
Correct your child's problems in a timely manner
The children are not worrying, fortunately, they are brought up by their own hands, temperament, personality, when the mother is very clear, where there is a problem, can not hide the eyes of the mother, which serves soft, which eats hard, for the mother to have a number.
Also parents a free old age
We can't treat our parents like this, they want to see their grandchildren, and we take our baby to see them on the weekend. When our family can't help, whether it is for my parents or his parents to pick them up, they are rain or shine, which is the love of children and grandchildren. We thought about the world of two people, let the baby go to grandma's house to play for half a day, they are willing to push off the mahjong cooperation, this is understanding. Parents are tired all their lives, old and want to live their own little lives, we should do our best to fulfill them.
We criticize the material nibbling of the elderly, adult children can not be independent, eat their parents, wear their parents, squeeze the parents' pension money to buy a car and a house, and show that they are not filial piety.
But sending parents to help with their children is tantamount to letting them retire and then go to work. They study well in this life, in order to find a good job, to work well, to find a good partner, to fall in love, to form a good family, to work hard, so that the child can read, to work hard, so that the child can find a good job, work hard, so that the child can buy a house and become a home. Busy all your life, for this family for the sake of children. I'm old and I think I can live for myself. Unexpectedly, I still have to continue to fight desperately for the sake of the child's child. Occupying the old age of parents, why not mentally nibble on the old and physically nibble on the old? This unfiliality is probably as Wilde said: "You take it without shame, you accept it without gratitude." ”
This article tells the true feelings of many with grandchildren, as a retired with grandchildren, suffering tired is on the one hand, in fact, the most feared is not to be understood, or even ruthlessly hurt!