I saw a true and heartfelt story online told by a man.
Men say that their ex-girlfriend loves him very much, and no matter what he does in life, he is centered on him, obedient to him, and responsive to everything he wants.
At first, men were especially grateful to their girlfriend for giving so much for themselves, and swore that they would love her well.
But as women pay more and more without asking for anything in return, a sense of guilt gradually arises in men's hearts. As time went on, this feeling of guilt grew heavier.
In order to dispel the pressure of this guilt, he turned to feeling that he was not at fault and that everything the other party had done for him was deserved.
Driven by this psychology, he began to develop confrontational, disgusting, and even tired emotions about his girlfriend's behavior.
The fate of the two ended with a man's birthday party: he actually forced a kiss from another girl in front of his girlfriend as a birthday present.
Someone asked him why he did this, and his answer was shocking:
"She fulfilled all my needs as a man, but she looked more and more like a pet to me. Do you care how your cat feels when you kiss a girl? ”
The story sounds cruel, but that's the reality.
Maybe you'll say, "In an intimate relationship, to love someone, you have to give for them." ”
There is nothing wrong with this statement in itself. But how to pay, how much to pay, this is very learned.
Intelligent women will use some small means to firmly hold the golden key of happiness in their hands.
No matter how busy you are at work, let him make time to accompany you
In modern society, the traditional marriage and family model is still not in the minority.
Such a family man, outside, undertakes a more important job and is responsible for making money to support the family; inside the female lead, find a relatively easy job, or simply be a full-time wife, responsible for beautiful flowers.
Admittedly, it's not easy for men to work outside. Especially after marriage, men are bound to put more time and energy into work in order to support their families.
But with it comes the divorce rate that rises year by year due to the small number of divorces between husband and wife. Surveys show that in recent years, the proportion of divorces due to busy work, lack of companionship and communication has increased significantly.
Psychological analysis believes that marriage has always been a subject for two people, happy love needs to be managed with heart, and a good marriage is inseparable from high-quality companionship.
Therefore, no matter how long two people spend together, they must create time exclusive to two people, even if this time is short, as long as they are focused on each other during this time, they will become the catalyst and preservative of love.
The famous scientist Qian Xuesen and his wife Jiang Yingxiang have been in love for more than 60 years, both of them have their own proud careers and jobs, busy is the norm of life, but this does not hinder the romance of their married life in the slightest.
Whenever Jiang Ying performed on stage, he would invite Qian Xuesen to the scene to watch. Qian Xuesen not only gladly went there, but also brought a group of scientist friends to give his beloved wife a show.
Sometimes because he was too busy at work to open his body, Qian Xuesen asked his friends to help record it, and then took it out to enjoy it from beginning to end when he was free.
A man who loves you deeply and really puts you in his heart, how willing to leave you alone and lonely, no matter how busy he will take time to accompany you.
If the man is so busy that he usually does not care or greet you at all, or even the time to go home, he needs to pay attention: "busy at work" is likely to be an excuse for him to empathize with him and not to fall in love!
Buy vegetables and cook together after work, walk and chat together after dinner; bring you water and medicine when you are sick, coax you to be happy and laugh when you are sad, marriage is such a real life, companionship is always the best footnote to love.
If you want a man to love you as you want, don't be too generous, no matter how busy you are at work, let him make time to accompany you.
No matter how stupid his hands and feet are, he must also be allowed to take on the housework together
In the marriage relationship, whether it is working outside the home or taking care of family affairs, it is not divided according to gender, but according to the respective circumstances.
However, in society, many people have a low awareness and evaluation of doing housework. Especially economically independent men, they think that doing housework is a very simple thing, and women should do housework as a matter of course.
Psychologists combined with statistical sample analysis believe that when a woman undertakes most or all of the housework, the happiness of marriage is negative.
There are some women in life, who complain that their husbands do not do housework while doing a lot of money, falling into a dead cycle of exhaustion and complaining, but never thinking about why he is unwilling to do housework.
In fact, the husband's "laziness" and "stupidity" are all "habitual" and "dislike" by women.
A neighbor, Ms. Zhang, works at a newspaper and her husband is a civil servant. She loves to be clean and takes care of almost all the chores such as laundry and cooking after work.
She often hears her complain that she married a "ma bao man", and every day she is tired and half dead doing housework; and her husband is either lying down or playing games after she returns home.
Ms. Zhang also tried to let her husband share some of the housework, but it turned out that he could not even clean the bowls, let alone cook. So, naturally, all the chores ended up going to her again.
No one is born with a sense of responsibility and ability. In the matter of a man doing housework, you don't even give him the time and opportunity to grow, how can he grow?
Everyone in the circle knows that the actor Zhang Xinyi is deeply loved by her husband Yuan Hong, and every day Yuan Hong gets up early to make meals, dress the children, and finally wakes her up in her sleep.
In fact, their marriage can maintain such a harmonious and beautiful state thanks to Zhang Xinyi's praise and encouragement. Once, Yuan Hong cooked pasta for Zhang Xinyi to eat, and she was choked to the point of speechlessness, still praising "good taste".
Men have a child living in their hearts, and don't think that men don't need encouragement. Sometimes, it is just a compliment from a woman that becomes the motivation for men to continue to work hard.
A wise woman always has a good idea, so that her husband is willing to do housework, take on the obligation of love and family responsibilities.
If you want a man to love you as if you want to die, don't be too generous, no matter how stupid your hands and feet are, you must also leave a little chicken feather for him to sweep.
No matter how deeply you love him, you must also leave some time for yourself
In a relationship, some women are particularly good to men, so good that everything revolves around him and does everything for his sake. Even some women think that since they are in love, they must stick to him, control him, and do everything they like.
Facts have shown that women who always take the initiative to respond, over-give, and infinitely please often do not get the pity of men, but are looked down upon by men.
Network statistics show that women's excessive efforts have lost 90% of their love.
Psychology believes that problems related to love and marriage can only be satisfactorily resolved on the basis of the complete equality of both parties.
Women who give too much and have a desire to control not only do not get the love they want, but also make men disgusted and bored, because of the way they break the balance between men and women.
Actor Liu Mintao was also imprisoned by the idea of excessive giving and marriage for seven years, during which time she never thought about whether she was high or unhappy, liked it or not, and was content with the ordinary, without complaint or regret, to teach her husband and children at home.
It wasn't until her husband's extramarital affair became the last straw that broke her that she suddenly woke up and rewrote "self" and "independence" into the label of life.
When she no longer pins her happiness on others, but holds her life in her own hands, she has reaped unexpected successes and surprises, becoming a well-deserved representative of 40+ women.
"If you want to get it, please deserve it first." This is the iron law of love and marriage.
Good love depends on attraction. Instead of trying to please men, women should happily please themselves and guide men to get along according to their own emotional rhythms.
If you want a man to love you as if you want to die, don't be too generous, love him deeply, and leave some time for yourself.
Love and marriage have always been a game between men and women, and each other is constantly hollowing out their minds and wanting each other to love themselves a little more.
Especially remind women, want to make men can't help but love you, in the following aspects do not be too generous to him:
No matter how busy the work is, let him make time to accompany you; no matter how stupid his hands and feet are, let him take on the housework together; no matter how deep you love him, you must also leave some time for yourself.
Maintain the freshness, mystery and balance of men and women together, and the flower of love can bloom more brilliantly and long-term.
Today's Topic:
What are some of your tips for managing your relationships?
Flower Shadow World: Focus on interpreting the emotional problems of marriage, and give you comfort and warmth in the hustle and bustle of the world