Text/Wei Chen
The world has always had rules, but some rules are written on the surface, and some rules are hidden in details, which require cleverness to understand.
After a person has been in society for a long time, he will gradually understand the rules of interpersonal communication.
As the old saying goes, no rules are no squares. Once the rules are messed up in interpersonal communication, the feelings will be destroyed.
We often hear statements about blessings, and the criterion often used to judge whether a person is blessed is whether the life they live is hard.
Suffering when people are young is accumulation, but if they still suffer after half a life, it becomes a sin.
Although the blessing is something that cannot be seen or touched, it really affects our lives.
When people reach middle age, if they do not want to continue to suffer for the rest of their lives, they must understand some truths, especially the following 5.
Do not refuse to learn
At any time in life, you should not refuse to learn, even if you only make a little progress every day, you will gain amazing results over time.
There are two very interesting words in chinese idioms, one is to set armpits into qiu, and the other is to gather sand into a tower.
Gathering armpits into a fur means that the skin under the armpit of the fox can be gathered to make a leather robe, and the gathering of sand into a tower means that the sand particles will be piled up and piled into a pagoda.
Life is like this, you can't underestimate anything that can be accumulated. The study of a person's life is not only carried out when he is in school, nor does he have to sit honestly at a desk and spend a lot of time.
Learning can be systematic learning or fragmentation. The reason why too many people in life have middle-aged anxiety is mostly because people refuse to learn after middle age.
Because I can clearly feel my own backwardness, I will be in pain and anxiety.
Do not forgive betrayal
Honestly, in my opinion, any betrayal is not worthy of forgiveness, and persuading myself to forgive betrayal is a very inhuman thing.
There are many kinds of suffering in this world, each kind of suffering has a different taste, and there has never been empathy between people, so the views and suggestions of others can be used as a reference, but they cannot become standards.
Forgiving others for betrayal sounds like a great thing, but in fact it is extremely harmful.
Everyone is not a great man, and we don't have to force ourselves to become the so-called great men of other people.
There are some things we can choose to let go of, but there is no need to forgive. Don't mention it, don't blame it.
There is a theory in psychology called the broken window effect. It is said that if a window is intact, but a corner of a window is destroyed by someone on a certain day, then it will not be long before the remaining windows are also destroyed.
Not forgiving betrayal is not stinginess, but a self-preservation that shows the bottom line.
Do not agree arbitrarily
Helping others has always been a traditional virtue of our Chinese nation. People often take pride in helping others.
Of course, the help that can make people feel happy and proud is a benign development, but there is another kind of help in this world, that is, forced help is also called moral kidnapping.
When people reach middle age, they must have a clear division of life, and they must be clear about who is intimate with and what is alienated, what is the main and what is secondary.
Smart people don't engage in promising things outside of their ability. Sometimes other people's help will be beyond our ability, this time we must do what we can, do not exaggerate our own ability.
Otherwise, once things are not done, they will not only lose faith in others, but also be blamed by others.
Not answering other people's requests at will is an advanced screening in interpersonal communication.
Do not spend ahead of time
With the development of society, many people have opened the mode of advanced consumption.
Although advanced consumption can improve the quality of life and bring a sense of emotional pleasure. But if it is not careful, it will also become over-consumption, which will cause serious psychological stress.
There is a joke that a person who makes a little money decides to buy himself a bicycle and ride beautifully to work every day.
So he happily went to the car dealership, only to see the electric car store diagonally opposite the bicycle, then found a car at the exhibition next to the electric car store, and finally took out a loan to buy an expensive car.
Unable to refuel, he still commutes on foot, and is overwhelmed by the expensive debts of the car, worrying and suffering every day.
Psychological research results show that the so-called happiness is not how much wealth is owned, but in a person's heart is full of security, the more secure the person's happiness is stronger.
Wealth is only a material sense of security, and what human beings often need more is emotional and spiritual security.
Not overly flattering
Albert Einstein once said, "The most beautiful thing in the world is a few solemn friends who have a straight head and heart." "The biggest need of people in this life is emotional needs, so interpersonal communication has always been a very important thing."
But in the process of interpersonal communication, there will inevitably be harm and deception, and what we have to do is not only to try to be kind to people, but also to stop the estrangement.
You know, people who are worth interacting with will often take the initiative to respond to your overtures, which will not make you overly flattered, and will not make you feel humble.
At any time in life, you do not have to overly please others, even if you ask for the other party, you must understand that only show a low posture within a certain range, and if the other party shows excessive alienation, turn away.
Good relationships, what needs to be found is someone worthy. Working those who are not worthy will only beg for self-inflicted suffering.
Content source public number: Wei Chen [ID: weichenip]
About author: Wei Chen, freelance writer. He loves literature and has a certain understanding of poetry and literary works.
I hope that through words to bring you spiritual relaxation, may your life be more beautiful after encountering my words.