In interpersonal communication, "stratospheric" must be a derogatory term?

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Duty reply: Liu Yaguang

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Letters

Hello! I've been thinking about a question lately: What is the meaning of life? It's a grand proposition that I know many philosophers have thought about, but the answer is widely debated. I think about this not on a whim, but with deep anxiety about the status quo.

I am a college student studying a profession that seems useful, but feels confused at times. Every day, there is a constant struggle between hope and disappointment. Doing every little thing well will make me happy, but a momentary persistence will not see results, and often make me fall into menacing anxiety. Recently, one of my classmates, who really "broke the defense", should have applied for a volunteer position that can be called glamorous in our eyes. I don't know if it's a long-term job, but for a moment I feel that I am different from others, which is the last straw that overwhelms me. It was as if the whole world was trying, and I was standing still.

I asked myself if I had any special skills, and what supported me from childhood to adulthood was the optimistic mentality of "big nerves" that I was born with, and sometimes it was said that I had no heart and no lungs. I admit that I am mediocre, but I want to do my best to live every day in a mediocre life. I'm basically the kind of girl who is well-behaved, content with the status quo but dissatisfied with the status quo. If I'm in a bad mood, it's hard for me to study with peace of mind. I've always wanted to keep myself from getting caught in the trap of being influenced by other people, but I'm sorry, but I've been unable to do that. At present, I feel that I am sinking in this strange circle, and I always feel that I am inferior to others in everything. I also asked my mother, and my mother said that if I really didn't work hard, I wouldn't be admitted to the current university. But I still had doubts in my heart, thinking that my mother said this to comfort me.

I don't know exactly why. I will deny myself because of others, and then doubt the value of my own existence. Please help me. If you can, please recommend some books on philosophers, and I would like to regain the strength to move forward from the writings of my predecessors.

thank!

Sometimes I also want to see the starry sky

Reply

Sometimes I also want to see the starry sky: hello!

Thank you very much for your honest letter! The question you mentioned may seem grand, but it's probably the one that comes across most often for today's young people. I personally like Charles Taylor's book, and when I read "The Hidden Concerns of Modernity", in addition to thinking about the theoretical problems he explored about the modern self, I thought more about the relationship between the self and others in life, and I strengthened the view that our world of meaning can never be separated from others. The presence of others will make you feel anxious about the sense of meaning, but if we are missing the other in our vision, there will be deeper anxiety. The simplest point: we are free from the anxiety exerted by others, and at the same time we are isolated from the affirmation of others. Most of today's young people, including me, promote an independent, autonomous individualism that we feel will make ourselves strong and unaffected by others. But in fact, this is most likely just wishful thinking. So, what I want to say most is that you don't have to be anxious and accept your "concern" for others.

You mentioned at the end that I hope to recommend some philosopher's books. Although I have listed a book here, it may only be because we are a "weekly book review" (x). There is very little book that books can do about the "meaning" of life, and books are more like a "catalyst" that needs to react to our existing life experiences. For this problem, everyone has their own way of exploring, and only they can find the most suitable way. But no matter what approach we take, I think one thing is very important: the stratosphere. The term is now used as a derogatory term most of the time, but we need to differentiate the scene a little. In interpersonal communication, we do need dissidents to keep our minds clear, but we also need the "stratosphere" that can support us. We need to unconditionally support our "nemesis" no matter what kind of psychological difficulties we encounter, even if we feel that we have lost everything in life, and these people are still there. Now, from schooling to the workplace, there is a culture of competition that encourages us to treat everyone else as an adversary first. Maybe you can try to open yourself more, make a few such dead parties, and build a meaning "echo wall" for yourself, maybe it will be very helpful. Let's cheer together!

Liu Yaguang

Should I choose a book that is popular and understands what I want to read, or a book that is profound and obscure but I don't want to read?

Akira Fujii

Fujii Tree: Hello!

I personally feel that reading a book only needs to consider whether you want to read it, and it has nothing to do with whether the book is obscure or popular. The encounter between people and books is as important as the encounter between people, and even the time of encounter is very important. Why do we feel that obscure and profound books are "needed" to be read? Because we value the cognitive value in it. However, the cognitive value that any book provides to us needs to be able to embed it into our existing cognitive structure. Therefore, the real importance is to continuously optimize our cognitive structure, and for building this structure, it may be the most important thing to read as much as possible according to our own interests.

Many people will also say that we can't be too accustomed to ourselves, we should read more books that require "effort", and we should read against our own nature. There is some truth to this statement, but it is too late. The best reading is, of course, what we need to "jump" to be able to read, but I think that even if the text is obscure, the topic it involves must at least be of interest to you, otherwise it is a text that has no "echo" with us in the present. Taken together, interest is still the most important.