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01
Comfortable relationships are like a spoonful of salt
Table salt is an indispensable spice for cooking, without which the dish will not be so delicious, but once you put too much, it will be difficult to swallow - this is the "salt effect".
Even the best things need the right amount, otherwise they will be too late and will be harmed.
In terms of interpersonal distance, moderate proportions are extremely important.
Truly comfortable relationships, whether friends, lovers, or even family, have to be a little measured.
For friends, there is too much willfulness, and sooner or later it will make people chill.
You can be close to each other, you can talk about everything, and you can occasionally play a small temper. But no matter how close, grasp the scale and leave a little measure.
For the family, the father-daughter mother-son game, appropriate to let go of the hand, give the child breathing space, they are not so nervous.
When the relationship has a measure, it will be more comfortable and not tired for a long time.
The deepest love, the most genuine concern, is also the right closeness.
02
Respect the difference and understand the difference
I have seen such a story:
When a reporter interviewed a centenarian living alone in the countryside, he found that she had a unique little habit: cooking and making soup without salt.
When eating with the reporter, he put the salt in a small plate alone so that he could dip it and eat it.
Such behavior neither accommodates others nor wrongs oneself.
The same is true between people.
Everyone's growth environment is different, the way of thinking, personal preferences are not the same, if you only think that your preferences are right, it is inevitable that some are too one-sided.
Confucius said, "Gentlemen are harmonious but different." ”
A long-term relationship should be tolerant of each other, I stick to my preferences, and respect your differences.
Just like in this world, there are no two leaves that are the same, and there must be differences between people.
Not forcing each other to correct and knowing how to respect each other is the best criterion for interacting with people.
03
Don't always think about denying others
An online blogger once told a story of his own.
She used to have a very good friend, two people with the same hobbies, and a lot of common topics.
But gradually, Mei Mei found that there was something wrong with this friend that bothered her very much.
That is, no matter what she said, friends habitually denied it.
No matter what others say, the habitual denial of people, no matter how good, others will tacitly distance themselves from her.
Communication between friends should be to listen to each other's needs and exchange views with each other, rather than denying your ideas, questioning any of your decisions, highlighting your own sense of existence, and showing your own knowledge.
A person who does not allow others to be better than himself is doomed to not make true friends.
True friends will guide you when you are confused, encourage you when you are helpless, put yourself in the shoes of others, and think for you.
04
Interpersonal communication is expensive in a "respectful" word
Interpersonal communication is expensive in a "respect" word, in this regard, Zeng Guofan, who is known as "a perfect person through the ages", also summed it up as a "respect" word.
Zeng Guofan talked a lot when he was young and liked to joke, so he lacked the word "respect" when treating people and things, and inadvertently offended many people.
So he often said in his diary that he was "disrespectful" and called himself a "beast".
So, what is respect?
Zeng Guofan believes that for the heart, it should be focused, calm, pure, and consistent, and it should not have selfish thoughts, not chase fame and fortune, and not be half-hearted; in terms of appearance, it should be neat and serious, not disregarding discipline, not being good at joking, and not indulging in self-indulgence, which is a respectful work.
Also, how can you be respectful?
Zeng Guofan believes that when you go out to see anyone, you should sort out your clothes like a VIP, and then greet them with greetings and greetings, and everything you do must be taken seriously, and there should be no slightest scruples.
If you don't handle interpersonal relationships, or don't know how to get along with people, you don't actually need to do too much, just keep a "respectful" word and cultivate the ability to treat people respectfully.
END