Author: Ru Fengjun
Zeng Guofan was a famous courtier of the Qing Dynasty.
There are countless people under him, and they are very old and spicy.
But in choosing a son-in-law for his daughter, he planted four heels in a row.
He chose a son-in-law for his daughter and demanded that the door be right, the family style be passed on, and the roots should be known.
Family status should be equal, not too far apart;
The family style should be good, and the habits of the parents should be good;
Know the roots, know more about your relatives, and don't choose strangers.
He personally chose a son-in-law for his four daughters, and as a result, each of them was unhappy and even died early.
The reason for this is worth thinking about for each of us parents.
1
People of bad character cannot marry
Character first.
This is an indisputable principle.
If a person is of poor character and is promiscuous, the child cannot be happy.
Zeng Jijing, the eldest daughter of Zeng Guofan, was married to Yuan Yusheng.
Yuan Yusheng was the son of the Qing dynasty bibliophile Yuan Fangying.
Zeng Guofan and Yuan Fangying were close friends, and he saw that his friend's six- or seven-year-old son, Yuan Yusheng, was clever and clever, so he married a doll.
The two are considered to be the right door, Yuan Fangying's tutoring is strict, and Zeng Guofan feels that there will certainly be no problem with this marriage.
Who expected, Yuan Fangying died early, and Yuan Yusheng, who had no one to discipline, quickly fell.
At the age of seventeen or eighteen, he did not learn any techniques, ate, drank and gambled.
Soon, the family wealth was destroyed, and even his father's collection of books was sold clean.
Zeng Guofan gave him a military position, planning to educate himself, so that he could be worthy of his family, friends, and daughters.
Who ever thought that Yuan Yusheng would not repent, embezzle military salaries, and embezzle public funds.
Zeng Guofan was forced to expel him from the Xiang army.
Because divorce was not allowed at that time, Zeng Jijing was forced to follow Yuan Yusheng home, and under the physical and mental suffering, he died depressed at the age of 29.
Character is a passport for one person.
Bad character, it is difficult to walk.
If a person has lost all the foundation of his life, then it is not okay for that person to be a friend. Not to mention getting married?
Get married to polish your eyes, a person is good to you, but the character is not up to par, you can never choose.
A person must first become a qualified person before he can assume the responsibilities of a husband or wife.
This must be considered in the first place.
2
People with a paranoid and impatient personality cannot marry
Married life is when two people live under the same roof.
If emotions cannot be managed, either two people quarrel endlessly or one party is angry.
Zeng Guofan's second daughter, Zeng Jiyao, married Chen Songnian.
Chen Songnian was the son of Chen Yuanyan.
Chen Yuanyan and Zeng Guofan were in the Hanlin Courtyard, which was considered to be a door-to-door pair.
Home teaching questions are all first-class.
But Chen Songnian's personality is flawed.
Grumpy and throwing tantrums at every turn.
After Zeng Jiyao married over, he was angry all day.
If you can't fight back, if you don't fight back, if you don't return the mouth, you will go against the grain.
Such a day is not fun at all, zeng Jiyao died at the age of 39.
Adult character first, emotion second.
Character is the foundation of society, and emotion is the basis for husband and wife to get along.
If a person is seriously emotional, it means that the intellectual development is lacking and the ability to self-regulate is poor.
It belongs to children who do not grow up.
It is also very tiring to be friends with such people, and it is even more a chicken feather to be a husband and wife.
Adults, sad and happy, to deal with their emotions, is a compulsory course in life.
3
A ma bao man who has no opinion cannot marry
The third daughter, Zeng Jichen, married Luo Yunji.
Luo Yunji is the younger son of Luo Zenan, the god of war of the Xiang Army.
Luo Zenan was highly educated, and his command ability was the first in the Xiang Army.
Logically, Luo Yunji should not be worse.
However, Luo Yunji was spoiled by his mother since he was a child, was not strictly disciplined, did not say anything about his temperament, and was still a full mother treasure man.
Zeng Jichen's mother-in-law has a big temper and a big style.
Calling out to her, never with the slightest respect.
There were servants in the family who did not need to, so Zeng Jichen personally washed and cooked, and he was tired to death every day.
Luo Yunji turned a blind eye to this, but he was obedient to his mother.
Later, Luo Yunji went out to plot and died in other places, and Zeng Jichen died alone for the rest of his life.
Spending time with this fierce mother-in-law every day, the situation can be imagined.
Marriage is when two young people form a family together.
It's not about one person moving to another family.
Learn to have your own opinions in order to take care of your other half.
Only in this way can two people better go to the future.
4
People who are not physically qualified cannot marry
Speaking of character, personality, mother's treasure, there is also a point of physical fitness.
The body is the capital of the revolution, and if the body is not good, there is no capital to fight against life.
In the bumps of the years, the boat of marriage can easily capsize.
Zeng Jichun, the fourth daughter of Zeng Guofan, married Guo Yiyong.
Guo Yiyong was the son of Guo Songtao, a close friend of Zeng Guofan.
The two houses are right, Guo Yiyong has good character and strong ability, and the only problem is the poor body and bones.
After three years of zeng jichun's marriage, her husband died.
She painstakingly raised two sons herself, and died of exhaustion at the age of 35.
Character and temperament must be passed, and physical fitness must also be passed.
Exercise, supplement nutrition, and don't break the bones of the body.
After all, good health is the foundation of everything.
5
The only happy little daughter Zeng Jifen
Zeng Guofan had five daughters, only the youngest daughter Zeng Jifen's marriage was happy.
Because the marriage of the four sisters is really tragic.
Zeng Guofan was painfully determined and gave up the concept of choosing a son-in-law before.
The father of the fifth son-in-law, Nie Jiyuan, was only a petty official, and his relationship with Zeng Guofan was also average, and Nie Jishu himself had not been hit for many years.
It can be said that the family is not good, and the learning is also average.
But he is down-to-earth and reliable.
Facts have proved that this time Zeng Guofan did not choose the wrong one.
Nie Jiqian did an excellent job, and later became an official to the inspector, and he and Zeng Jifen had a good relationship and respected each other.
Zeng Jifen's descendants were full of children and grandchildren, and they lived to the age of ninety.
It is said that in her lifetime, she "consisted of Miss Houmen Qianjin, and the Lady of the Inspector, and the wife of the industrial and commercial giant, who lived in eight seats, and her descendants were inherited, and Shou Deng was old, both expensive and virtuous."
Ru Fengjun said:
Zeng Guofan eventually broke his own concept of being right at home.
Back to man himself.
For a hundred years of life, husband and wife have stayed together for most of their lives.
Rich and noble families are like clouds of smoke.
A person's character, ability, and emotions are the most important.
Reliable character, emotional stability, practical work, and harmonious feelings, so that the other half can be regarded as a good person in marriage.
At the end of the article, "Watching", the orator likes it!