At the end of the Qing Dynasty, Zeng Guofan has always been known for being good at knowing people and strictly governing the family, but it is precisely this political celebrity with unique insight who is unusually "clumsy" in choosing a son-in-law for his daughter.
Zeng Guofan had 3 sons and 6 daughters in his lifetime, of the 6 daughters, the fifth daughter died early, and the remaining 5 daughters grew up to be husbands and wives decided by Zeng Guofan for them.
Earlier, Zeng Guofan's principle of choosing a son-in-law was "after the door is right" and "after friends", originally thinking that this would make the daughters get lifelong happiness, and in the end, in addition to the youngest daughter Zeng Jifen,000 marriages and happy old age, the other 4 daughters were very miserable.
Among the 4 daughters who suffered from marriage, the third daughter, Zeng Jichen, lived the most wronged life, but even if Zeng Guofan, who was a father, knew the suffering of the third daughter, he still did not put himself in his place to help her get out of the sea of suffering.
Zeng Guofan had earlier adhered to the concept of choosing a son-in-law
Zeng Guofan was originally a cloth scholar who grew up in the countryside of Hunan, he was admitted to the Jinshi at the age of 28, entered the Hanlin Academy at the age of 38 and served as a waiter, at the age of 42 he was ordered to suppress the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom, and after the age of 54, he presided over the foreign affairs movement and reform and strength of the Qing government, which was already in decline, and his life was full of praise, his merits can be highlighted in the annals of history, and he is called "the perfect man of all ages" by today's people.
Zeng Guofan has a ruler in his speech and demeanor, is a model for being a model, a model for officials, and even more amazing in terms of understanding and employing people. And it is such a person with a unique and clever vision, but he does not have a good geography of the marriage of his daughter in the family.
Zeng Guofan had four principles for making friends with others: credit, unofficial, organized, and less big talk. Relying on this method of self-summed up, Zeng Guofan made many friends who could live and die together and advance and retreat together.
When several of his daughters reached the age of marriage, Zeng Guofan's initial standard was relatively simple, he believed that it was more reliable for his daughters to marry the right official eunuch family, and the most appropriate thing was to let them marry the sons of his confidants and close friends. Probably Zeng Guofan simply believed at that time that if the two sides knew the roots and the father was good and the son was virtuous, then the daughter would not suffer hardships and losses when she married.
As a result, Zeng Guofan married his eldest daughter to Yuan Yusheng, the eldest son of yuan Shuliu, the editor of the Hanlin Academy; Chen Songsheng, the son of Chen Daiyun, a fellow of zeng guoshi who had been friends with Zeng Guofan in the same year; He married his third daughter Zeng Jichen to Luo Zhaosheng, the second son of Luo Zenan, a late Qing General who was close friends with Zeng Guofan; married the fourth daughter Zeng Jichun to Guo Yiyong, the eldest son of the late Qing diplomat Guo Songshou; and married the younger daughter Zeng Jifen to Nie Zhongfang, the son of his old friend Nie Yifeng.
Among these 5 sons-in-law, only the son-in-law Nie Zhongfang was personally inspected and inquired by his wife Ouyang and his daughter Zeng Jifen, and the rest of the sons-in-law were "good son-in-law" candidates that Zeng Guofan had hastily presumed through "checking the father and knowing the son".
In addition to his daughter Zeng Jifen, the other 4 daughters have suffered hardships and misfortunes in marriage, and Zeng Guofan was also deeply remorseful in his later years, he once said with trepidation: The father returns to the father, the son returns to the son, and the marriage commission does not need to be rich and famous.
The third daughter, Zeng Jichen, was of good character, but she was discriminated against and abused by her husband's family
Zeng Guofan had only one wife and one concubine in his lifetime, his wife Ouyang Shi was the daughter of the benefactor Ouyang Ningji, the knowledgeable and polite, dignified and generous Ouyang clan was considerate and affectionate with Zeng Guofan all his life, and the Ouyang clan gave birth to 3 sons and 6 daughters, except for the fifth daughter who died early, the rest of the children grew up.
Zeng Guofan's third daughter was named Zeng Jichen, and under the strict education of her father's strict family, Zeng Jichen was raised to be honest and stable, industrious and simple, and was a good girl who was not squeamish and mature and sensible.
Zeng Guofan had a close friend named Luo Zenan, who was an outstanding figure in the Hunan Rigaku Jingshi School, and in 1853, Luo Zenan was ordered by Empress Dowager Cixi to recruit troops and horses with Zeng Guofan to form the Xiang Army and requisition the Taiping Army.
Over the years, the military affairs and birth and death made Zeng Guofan regard Luo Zenan as a close friend, but unfortunately, when Luo Zenan led the army to attack Wuchang, because he was eager to win in order to quickly turn back to assist Zeng Guofan, who was fighting alone, he accidentally was shot in front of the battle and martyred.
After Luo Zenan's death, the family left 1 widow and 2 weak sons, and the second son, Luo Zhaosheng, had just turned 10 years old. Zeng Guofan's death made Zeng Guofan very distressed, and he thought of a way to share the worries of his good brother Luo Zenan - to marry the third daughter Zeng Jichen and Luo Zhaosheng, the younger son of Luo Zenan.
In this way, Luo Zhaosheng became his son-in-law, and Zeng Guofan could also take care of Luo Zhaosheng on behalf of his deceased father to comfort Luo Zenan's spirit in heaven.
In 1862, Luo Zhaosheng married Zeng Jichen as his wife, and although the wedding day was very lively, the simple and kind Zeng Jichen did not expect that the marriage arranged by his father actually made him shed tears for most of his life.
Zeng Jichen, a big girl, is honest and simple in nature, after marrying into the Luo family, she has a rigorous style, is diligent in running the family, respects Weng Po, and does a decent and thoughtful job everywhere.
I thought that such a payment could be recognized and praised by the Luo family, but the character and behavior of her husband and mother-in-law surprised Zeng Jichen, and the new marriage was less than a year old, and Zeng Jichen, a lady of good character, was even humiliated and abused in her husband's family.
Husband Luo Zhaosheng's birth mother is Luo Zenan's concubine Zhou Shi, this Zhou clan is a peasant family's daughter, not only has no culture, but also has a very low temperament and cultivation, is mean and cunning, and will only spoil his younger son Luo Zhaosheng, but he is cruel to let zeng Jichen, who has just passed through the door, clean the toilet every day.
Zeng Jichen swallowed his anger and obeyed the unkind evil mother-in-law and grumpy husband, but it made the Zhou clan even more fierce, not only bullying Zeng Jichen in terms of language and housework, but also conniving at the maid to beat Zeng Jichen.
The mother-in-law is difficult to get along with, not to mention, even the husband is very unsatisfactory. Luo Zhaosheng, under the doting of his birth mother Zhou Shi, eventually became a clumsy boy who was idle and coveted comfort and pleasure. Even in the face of the bride Zeng Jichen, he did not cherish much, as long as the mood was not good or where it was not smooth, he immediately scolded Zeng Jichen.
Zeng Guofan made Zeng Jichen, who was miserable and relieved, scrupulously abide by the four words of "endurance and forbearance"
In the face of such an unbearable mother-in-law and husband, Zeng Jichen did not wash his face with tears. The brother and mother soon learned of Zeng Jichen's tragic situation from her family letter, and Ouyang felt sorry for her daughter, so she told Zeng Guofan the truth about the Luo family.
Zeng Guofan knew that his daughter was aggrieved, but he did not look at the whole incident from her daughter's point of view, nor did he think of helping his daughter who was weak and weak to solve the problem of domestic violence head-on. Zeng Guofan wrote to his son, asking him to enlighten Zeng Jichen more, and advised Zeng Jichen to abide by traditional women's morality, especially to achieve the four words of "endurance and forbearance".
Zeng Guofan considered that the reason why his son-in-law Luo Zhaosheng was so stubborn must be the lack of education, so he also took his daughter and son-in-law into the home for ear and strict discipline.
Even if Luo Zhaosheng was no longer stubborn, he did not dare to make a mistake when he arrived at the home of Yue Zhang, Zeng Guofan, and he began to obediently listen to and learn every day, quit bad habits, and his progress was really not small.
Married for 3 years, Zeng Jichen, who lived in his mother's family, became pregnant and gave birth to a son smoothly, and the arrival of his son made the Zeng family and the Luo family happy, but unfortunately, when the youngest son was 2 months old, he was frightened by the deafening gunfire and eventually died. The early death of the child once made Zeng Jichen, who had just become a mother, heartbroken.
Soon, Zeng Jichen returned to the Luo family in Hunan with her husband, although her husband was much more restrained than before, but her mother-in-law was fierce and mean, and she still scolded Zeng Jichen. Since then, because of his depressed mood, Zeng Jichen has not given birth to any heirs for the Luo family after giving birth to a daughter after giving birth to a daughter in his second pregnancy.
The Luo family needed incense to continue, Zeng Jichen found 2 concubines for her husband, and after that, her marital relationship with her husband Luo Zhaosheng was even more distant and indifferent.
In 1888, Luo Zhaosheng, who was an official, died tragically, and Zeng Jichen became a widow at a young age, and since then she has been living with her daughter and concubines, and has not remarried for the rest of her life.
In 1912, the 68-year-old Zeng Jichen died and completed a life that she should not have been so bitter and sad. In the 50 years after his marriage, Zeng Jichen not only did not enjoy honor and wealth, but instead endured everything because he had to abide by feudal moral etiquette.
The husband did not care for himself, and the fierce mother-in-law scolded Zeng Jichen until before he died. She had poured out her sorrows to her mother's family, but no one had fundamentally solved all the injustices and abuses she had suffered in her husband's family.
The four-character motto of "endurance and forbearance" is the teaching of his father Zeng Guofan, who has followed and believed in it all his life, and at the same time has completed a lonely and miserable life with these four words, which is really sad and lamentable.