Wen \Xiao Yao, Jiang Zuo Mei Niang
01. Import
Since Dong Qing said: "The best look of a woman is like this: her eyes are full of stories, but her face is not full of wind and frost." "For a time, many women have taken it as a benchmark for their own efforts - do their best to maintain their faces, so that their faces always look like a young girl in their 20s; as for the stories in their eyes, more love, daily life experience, more chase dramas, naturally there are stories." Alas, let me say something good, the woman who operates in this way really misunderstands Dong Qing's words.
You must know that Dong Qing said that there is no wind and frost on the face, but it is not the meaning of relying on various maintenance to make the face look forever young. She is talking about a woman who has been baptized by years, but the years cannot hurt this woman. To know that "the face is born from the heart", if a woman's heart is always firm, kind, and optimistic, then when the years pass, even if her face is old, there is no wind and frost on her face. As for the story in the eyes, it may be related to the experience, but what is more related is the attitude towards the experience and the understanding and thinking after the experience.
Therefore, Dong Qing's sentence should be explained as follows: If a woman is kind, optimistic, tenacious, hardworking, knows how to think, reflect, and be compassionate, then this woman's appearance will not be too bad, and her temperament will be excellent, and such a woman must be the best.
As the author says in Carnegie's Advice to a Woman's Happiness in Life:
"A woman's beauty can be pleasing to the eye, but a woman's moving features come from her temperament, which is presented in appearance, mentality, and connotation will affect the flow of temperament." Temperamental women will emit a faint fragrance when they raise their hands and feet. ”
Such women will be the best couples that men dream of, they may no longer be young, but they can touch men's hearts more than young girls in their 20s.
The following is a backstage letter from a 35-year-old leftover man, whose story confirms my point above.
02. Case (Authorized)
Mei Niang is good, my name is Li Hui, and I am a 35-year-old leftover man. In fact, I have always been quite disgusted with the name of leftover men and women, and I feel a little insulting, because at least I don't think I am leftovers by others, and the reason why I am old and unmarried is only because I have devoted myself to my career a few years ago.
My sister has always been very anxious about my old age unmarried, she introduced me to a 22-year-old girl, she likes me a lot, here is the moment to call her C bar, she has been pursuing me, my sister strongly advised me to agree.
But I really don't think I'm a good fit for C. Indeed, I also admit that C, who just graduated from college, is not only young, but also pretty. If I could marry her, according to my sister, I would earn it. But what my sister didn't know was that I could give what C wanted, and C, who wanted me, couldn't give at all.
C wants, she has also said, a man who looks liked and has the ability to give her a happy quality life. She said that my appearance and my financial means met her standards.
But C's young and beautiful, C's superior original family (her family lives in the provincial city, one of her parents is a middle-level state-owned enterprise, and the other is a school leader. And I am a rural child, relying on loans and part-time work to finish college, alone in the big city for more than 10 years to have their own company, a house and a car. But none of it was what I wanted.
I also admit that C should be the girl that a lot of men want to marry, but I really don't fit her. This inadequacy is reflected in many aspects: for example, she likes to buy big-name cosmetics and buy designer clothes and bags. Originally like to use a good number of things are not to blame, the problem is that she eliminated things too quickly, many of her clothes are worn once or twice on thrown away, some even bought back to feel inappropriate do not like, did not use on the throw ... ... Most of the time, her monthly salary of more than 7,000 yuan is not enough to spend on those things.
I'm not upset about money, it's more than enough to prop up her spending with my current income. But I think money can be spent, but it shouldn't be wasted. Good things can be bought, but not thrown away with one or two uses. It's not about money, it's about treating things.
For example, she is used to sleeping late, mostly brushing her mobile phone until the middle of the night before sleeping, and then complaining that the skin is not good and crazy to buy a mask to apply a mask. It really responds to the saying "stay up the night at the latest, put on the most expensive mask". Staying up late, she naturally can't get up in the morning, and she either doesn't eat breakfast or just makes it up. And although I sometimes stay up late because of work, the habits I have developed over the years have made me get up early every day to run, make breakfast seriously, and eat nutritious breakfast seriously...
Yesterday C and I had another argument and I told her we weren't suitable and she couldn't give what I wanted. She asked me if she was suitable for us without spending my money on things, if she and I were fit to work and rest at the same time.
Alas, how can I tell her that it is not a matter of money, it is a matter of life concepts. She has never suffered hardships and I grew up with hardships, there are too many differences in the concept of life, as for the same work and rest, it is not just a matter of work and rest, it is a person's attitude towards the body, and it is the degree of self-discipline of a person...
She and I couldn't explain it clearly, but I didn't want people who relied on squandering time and money at a young age, not people who wasted their attention and time all day on short videos, and wasted on idol dramas on dressing up. What I want is someone who can stay up with me and work hard with me when I am at a low point, who can celebrate with me when I am at my high point, and remind each other not to get carried away.
I may be a little confused, I hope that Mei Niang can understand, and I also hope that you will send it out and persuade my sister to let her understand my choice.
03. Mei Niang said
Hello, thank you for your trust, your point of view is actually not very common, but it is indeed very capable of giving some beautiful young girls some warning significance.
I think most girls will favor a man like you, have a successful career, the three views are also very positive, is a high-quality stock. Compared to many men who have a successful career and start to enjoy life, you seem to pursue a kind of soul resonance.
As Shu Ting's "To the Oak Tree" said:
"I must be a kapok near you, standing with you as the image of a tree... We share the cold waves, the wind and thunder, the thunderbolts; we share the fog, the flowing clouds, the rainbows. It's as if they're separated forever, but they're all their lives together..."
What you want is a self-motivated and high-quality girl, even if she comes from an ordinary family, but she is strong enough, tough enough, and can fight with you, and she can look up to you spiritually. You don't want to find a woman who just wants to enjoy your quality results but doesn't want to give anything, and your view of mate selection is really positive and high.
The definition of love in Carnegie's Advice to a Woman for a Lifetime of Happiness is very good:
"What is love? Is it just two people looking at each other? No, love is two people, four eyes, looking in one direction together. ”
Good love is not two or two looking at each other, but looking in the same direction, only such love can achieve real parity, to achieve true harmony.
You say that what she wants you can give, yes, the material she wants, with your financial conditions, you can indeed provide for her, but she can't give what you want, the appreciation you want, the attraction and resonance of the soul, she really can't interact with you.
But you must also understand that when love first arises, it all stems from a mutual need, and since you have such a high view of mate selection, you must also think about it, if you really want a girl like that, can you stand her? Such a girl must be more self-respecting and self-reliant, but you are more straight, there may be some machismo, and such a girl may be about the same age as you, your marriage and childbearing problems may not be too smooth, do you not care about this? If you don't have any obsession with having children, you can stop thinking about your sister and C and insist on waiting for the person you want to wait for.
Many times it is fish and bear paws that can not be combined, as long as you think clearly, then it is not difficult to stick to it naturally, after all, you are looking for a woman who can accompany you for a lifetime, too sloppy, but also irresponsible to yourself.
I hope that there are more high-quality leftover men like Li Hui think: The girlfriend I want to find should stand side by side with me as a tree, rather than just clinging to me like a silk flower. Because in the eyes of our men, a woman's appearance is not as important as character, and a woman's age is not as important as her growth and ability.
Carnegie's Advice to Women on Happiness in Life mentions a quote from hans, an expert on psychology, who said:
"For a person, having personalities such as tenacity, bravery, calmness, sanity, and independence is undoubtedly equivalent to having a huge wealth. Tenacity will make you never bow your head in the face of difficulties, bravery will allow you to face all setbacks, calmness and reason will keep you awake forever, and independence will make you free from the mercy of others. ”
Yes, I also sincerely hope that the 22-year-old girl C can also see this article, in fact, there is beauty, it is difficult to have a happy life, women should cultivate their own various good qualities like men, only in this way, you will have a good choice, because even if you do not marry, you alone, you also have the ability to live a happy life.
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