Wen \ Jiang Zuo Mei Niang
01. Import
Let's start with a little story about a little boy who was very angry after being punished by his mother, who ran out and shouted at the valley: "I hate you!" I hate you! As a result, there was a response from the other side of the valley: "I hate you!" I hate you! ”
The little boy was taken aback and immediately ran back to tell his mother that there might be a hateful little boy on the other side of the valley who hated him, and the mother laughed and took him out, asking him to go and shout at the mountainside: "I love you." ”
The boy was puzzled, but he did as his mother said, and this time the valley quickly responded: "I love you!" I love you! ”
This little story is very interesting, I tell many readers to hear, in fact, the feelings between us, like you and this valley echo, what you shout to it, it will shout to you; what you give, you will get. So, if you can treat others sincerely, they will treat you sincerely.
Although routines may be useful for a while, they must ultimately be sincere and popular. You know, no one is stupid, you are not sincere, in fact, others will know after a while with you.
But in reality, there are a lot of men who feel they are sincere enough, but why can't they always find the right girl?
02. Case (Authorized)
Hello Mei Niang, I am 28 this year, 211 undergraduate graduates, working in a foreign company, the house was also bought, 120 square meters, my hometown is rural, but my father is a skilled worker, the income is good, my mother is farming, and now I am also working in my father's factory, so the family is not too much burden. Compared with other rural people, my family's family is quite well-off.
It's normal for me to have no girlfriend in a big city at my age, but in my hometown of the countryside, I'm the same age as I am, I have children, and now that the end of the year is coming, I'm going to face the pressure of not having a girlfriend again.
To be clear, I subjectively want to find a girlfriend, but also a lot of contacts, but most of them met a few times, it is gone, I once looked at myself in the mirror, I feel that I look quite Good, ah, but why do most of the girls not look at me? Now I don't dare to associate with girls.
My personality is somewhat introverted, I may speak straight, my height is not very tall, about 170, but my face is not ugly, at least medium, so I am puzzled, hoping that Mei Niang can give me a trick.
First of all, let's talk about the situation of the girl I interacted with last year, this object of communication is the daughter of my father's classmate, it was introduced to me last year's New Year, she is also an undergraduate, the graduation college should not be as good as mine, and it is working in the county town of our hometown, the work is a clerk, and I am in a foreign enterprise in the provincial city, I think I still deserve it.
In the beginning, both my parents and her parents felt that it was a good fit, after all, they knew the roots, so both parents actively contributed to this matter.
In fact, I met her twice, after all, I was at home for a few days of the New Year. The first time we met was in the café, I also took a moment to go, after the meeting, I think she looks quite fresh, I am quite satisfied with her, but I may not perform well, because we seem to have no common topic between us, what she said, I always can't pick up, and later when I contacted her, she said busy, she seemed to casually ask, when I have time, I said I have time at any time, as a result I asked her again, she was still busy, which made me feel very weak, and then my parents asked me how I was talking I said it truthfully, and my dad went to inquire about what the girl really thought, and as a result, people said, there is no feeling, and I am very discouraged after listening to it.
Later I met a girl again, this girl is also good-looking, this time, I was more deliberately active, when ordering, I first asked her to order, she ordered well and then let me order, I said: "Casual", she was dumbfounded, and then pointed to a paella, I immediately said, I do like to eat this. Later I said more, because the girl has not talked much, then if I don't say, basically cold, I remember I said about my family situation, my salary, maybe in order to be able to leave a good impression on her, I also deliberately said more, when we separated later, I had a strong premonition, this time it must be yellow again, hey! Sure enough she didn't contact me again.
I feel like I'm already very proactive and have done my best to show my sincerity, but why no matter what I do, none of them can look at me!
03. Mei Niang said
Hello dear, after seeing your experience, I would like to tell you some of the potential rules of blind dates. Two completely unknown strangers meet with the purpose of marriage, in fact, the probability of looking at each other is not great, and love at first sight really tends to occur between handsome men and beautiful women. And in reality, handsome men and beautiful women may not grow up on each other's aesthetic points without calling! Not to mention the mediocre-looking you?
Your comprehensive conditions are not too bad, but not too good, for such a man, if you want to get the heart of a woman, there is actually only one secret weapon, that is, "sincerity". You say you're sincere, but it's just how you feel about yourself, in fact are you really sincere?
So let's talk about, what kind of performance can be considered sincere?
We grew up, our parents may ask us not to lie, but not lying does not mean that this is sincere, we are more cultured to be "sensible" and "polite", what about boys? He may also be asked to be generous, a little measured, etc.
But we never teach a person how to be sincere, how to show sincerity, our so-called "sincerity", sometimes may be denied, because you are sincere, may expose the weakness, a sincerity, may be probed by someone to the bottom, a sincerity, may provoke the other party unhappy, so we can only disguise, but no matter how well disguised, will also be seen as hypocritical, so that the other party can not feel your slow sincerity, she will be difficult to recognize you.
Simply put, the first girl you meet, this girl's other external conditions are not as good as yours, but she still did not look at you, this is normal, but when you ask her out, she is always very busy, you should know her heart for you, if you still care about her, of course you can continue to date, but when she asks you when you are free, you say that you are free at any time, this sentence is a little too much.
She goes to work and you also work, and foreign companies will not be very relaxed. Why don't you tell her your real situation, you can say that you are free on the weekend, you can also say that you have time one day, the last thing you should say is "anytime", give her the feeling that your time is cheap, and the girl will pay less attention to you.
Later, you also know the girl's intentions, so do you still have a chance? Yes, you can still continue to date, as long as she takes care of you, you can continue to talk to her, at this time you can talk to her about your real strengths, let her have a good feeling for you. For example, your income is good, the house has been bought, for example, you may have a promotion opportunity in the future, let her understand that you will be a potential stock, such as you are very good to your parents, let her know your kindness, know how to honor the elderly, etc., remember: show what you can give sincerely, there is no need to deliberately please and kneel, so that she will feel that you are more reliable.
Let's talk about it again, the second girl, in the face of this girl, you changed quite quickly, from "clumsy tongue" to "rhetoric", but you just changed the form, did not change the essence, so you still did not succeed! Why? Because for her, what you can impress her is still sincere! But what about you? Others ask you what kind of food to eat, you say casual, you think you are very easy-going, but the other party will feel a little difficult to do at that time, and finally people ordered paella for you, you immediately said that you like to eat the most, which will naturally make the other party feel that you are some deliberate pandering, which is insincere!
Not to mention that later, you also falsely reported income, if the girl has already investigated your specific situation before dating you, then your big words will only aggravate her impression of you being dishonest.
What to do?
First, be brave enough to say what you really think, and have a clear attitude.
For the first girl, WeChat clearly stated that he had a good feeling for her, unless she strictly refused, you will always have a chance.
If she's always busy, you sincerely say you can wait, but also tell her that you don't have time at all times, but you're willing to meet her one day.
When you can say that, you know? In fact, most girls will like it, very frank, very domineering, very confident, right?
Second, be brave enough to say no, don't exaggerate and please.
Men may always feel that if at the beginning everything is decided by the girl, so that she will always think that I am okay, what she says, I am attached to her, she should think I am good, in fact, not Oh.
If her suggestion, you feel really good, then say good, if you really don't like it, then you can completely refuse, because if you think everything is good, then others will only think that you may be afraid of trouble and perfunctory her, she does not know your true thoughts, and naturally will have a feeling of distrust with you.
John Lennon said:
"Sincerity won't bring you a lot of friends, but it will always bring you the right friends."
Let me change this, that is: "Sincerity will not bring you a girlfriend, but it will always bring you a really reliable girlfriend." ”
Isn't it? Do you know why I fell in love with my old Yang in the first place? It was the first time we met, he told me that his family was not well off, and his parents were not in good health, and I felt that he was very sincere and a person who lived a life.
We all know to be sincere, but how to show their sincerity, often many people do not do well, so how to show their sincerity in love, can be said to be a scarce ability, because sincerity is a man, especially an ordinary man's most important skill. Only sincerity can harvest truly reliable love.
How to make a woman fall in love with you? This "scarcity ability" must be learned by every man, especially ordinary men.
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I am Mei Niang, your most intimate emotional counselor, if you have emotional confusion, please send me a private message, Mei Niang will take you out of the confusion.