Author: Creative Group Shinoda
Not long ago, I accidentally saw such a video, and I was instantly sweetened.
In Suzhou, Jiangsu Province, on the lawn sprinkled with sunshine, there is a little boy who is under the guidance of his father, seriously holding a camera to take pictures of his mother. After the mother finished the concave shape, the father picked up the mother again and asked the little boy to act as a photographer to record the picture of this love.
In the cold winter, the family of three's loving behavior was so caught off guard to everyone. Netizens expressed their envy, and one of them said the voice of everyone: "From it, I witnessed three kinds of love - father's love, mother's love, and love." ”
Love children, love each other more, and dare to "sprinkle dog food" in front of the baby. Such a move is really worth applauding.
I can't help but think of a quote by psychologist Brian Nofeo: "Parental love is the best gift for children." "The secret of family happiness is to put the relationship between husband and wife first. Mom and Dad love each other deeply, which is a great blessing on the road to a child's growth.
What does parental love mean for children? In the program "Teenager Says", Li Zhi, a high school boy, encountered a happy "trouble".
I saw him standing on the roof, spitting out his parents: "When I was at home, they got along quite normally; why did the two of them show all kinds of love as soon as I returned to school to board?" ”
Li Zhi mentioned that every time she called her mother, she would always "show off" with herself, either her father took her to the movies, or the two of them went hiking, or they went on a trip together... This feeling really responds to the sentence on the Internet - it turns out that parents are true love, and I am just an accident.
In response, Li Zhi issued a soul torture question to his parents: "Why did you become so loving as soon as I arrived at school?" Are you afraid that I will eat and drink movies at home? ”
It seems that the boy is expressing "dissatisfaction", but the smile on his face is clearly announcing to everyone that he has a super happy home. In the face of his son's questioning, Li Zhi's parents are also very loving.
Li's mother first joked and generously admitted: "Yes, you are a light bulb." ”
But then he sincerely told him: "You will always be the careful liver of your parents, and we will always love you." Listening to his mother's words, Li Zhi smiled even brighter. He said from the bottom of his heart: "I am actually very happy to see that you are so loving and that the relationship between husband and wife is so good!" ”
In her essay "Family Questions", the writer Bi Shumin once compared home to a pupae wrapped around a baby.
If the home is filled with healthy love pollen, the child can break through the cocoon and become a butterfly, spread its wings and fly.
She wrote: "A child who grows up in love, love is his wing, love is his spear." A child who grows vigorously in love, he is more brave when he looks at the world, he looks at the future more brightly, he looks at things more calmly, and he looks at death more calmly. ”
And the source of this love is the deep feelings between parents and each other. It has achieved the warmth of a home, let the child walk in the world full of confidence, and will also sow the seeds of truth, goodness and beauty in the child's heart.
The American "Business Insider" magazine has published an article saying that researchers have summarized several common characteristics of successful children's parents after synthesizing a large number of statistics provided by Harvard University, Stanford University and many other famous universities.
One of them is that most of the children come from families with a pleasant and harmonious atmosphere, and the parents are very affectionate with each other.
Just like the prototype of the hand-drawn animated film "London Family", the parents of the famous British cartoonist Raymond Briggs. From the beginning of 1928 to the death of 1971, no matter how the external environment changed, the couple has always been in love.
Whether it is in the war and chaos of life and death, influenced by parents, Raymond's image is full of emotions and full of positive energy. He has created countless classic works, including "Mother Goose", "Santa Dad", etc., becoming a world-renowned comic book master, and has won the highest honor in the British children's book industry - Kate Greenway Medal for many times.
In fact, for children, the parents' mode of getting along is the beginning of their understanding of the world; a happy husband and wife relationship is not only a needle in the sea god for family happiness, but also a secret weapon to help children become successful.
In families where parents love, children are often not bad.
The German psychotherapist hehringer once pointed out that a happy family relationship should put the relationship between husband and wife in the first place.
He said: "Husband and wife are life partners, those who share the fate, and the ones who dominate the state of the family. The couple stands closely side by side, and the child stands in the middle of the front of the parents, so as to form a stable isosceles triangle relationship. And when this order is misplaced, and the parent-child relationship overrides the husband and wife relationship, it is doomed to tragedy.
The "Interview with Liangzi" program once interviewed a retired Aunt Wu. At the age of 66, she finally made up her mind to divorce her husband. Before that, her relationship with her husband had actually broken down long ago, and even after the birth of her two daughters, she saw through her husband's selfish and irresponsible true face and decided not to continue living with him.
However, in order to give her daughters a complete home and not let them be rejected because of a single-parent family, Aunt Wu has never divorced. It wasn't until both daughters started a family that she lived for herself once with the support of her children.
Obviously, the relationship between husband and wife has been in ruins, and it is clear that they are not happy at all, but because of their children, they can only suppress themselves and seek perfection.
Behind this forbearance is the mentality of many parents "everything for the sake of their children". But is it really worth it?
Two days ago, the case of Miss Chongqing's brother who shocked the whole country was finally pronounced. The biological father Zhang Bo and Xiao Sanye Chengchen were sentenced to death in the first trial, which was very gratifying! Infidelity in marriage, extreme cold-bloodedness, and the killing of his own flesh and blood, such scum is not a pity.
But in the face of the misfortune of her marriage, her mother Chen Meilin still did not want to divorce for a long time in order to let her two children have a complete home.
She once told reporters that in order to keep Zhang Bo, she even knelt down for him three times and begged him not to divorce.
As everyone knows, only when you are happy can you have the ability to give your children more happiness. The relationship between husband and wife is tense, and in the end it is the child who is hurt.
At the same time, once parents have the idea of "children are more important than everything", they are prone to involuntarily be full of control when facing their children, which makes the parent-child relationship tense and produces a series of contradictions. Statistics show that "a common cause of children's addiction to the Internet, school aversion, depression, running away from home and other problem behaviors is the disharmony of the parental relationship in the original family."
The relationship between husband and wife is the "cause", and the parent-child relationship is the "effect". If the cart is turned upside down, it will not only shake the feelings with the other half, but also be of no benefit to the growth of the child, and it is really not worth the loss!
Washington Irving, the father of American literature, once said: "Let children feel that their family is the happiest place in the world, which is the wise practice of adults who have cultivated in the past." "As parents, we love each other deeply with our spouses in order to give our children better love.
Author: Xiao Tian . New Oriental Family Education (ID: xdfjtjy) transmits the concept of professional family education, provides family education information at home and abroad, and shares absorbable and operable methods and suggestions. Make continuous learning a habit for families.