Everyone around them said: The boss is iron, and the second is a ghost. Originally thought that this was a joke, but after really doing the second child mother, I found out: almost every second child family is like this, and the second child is always smarter than the boss.
Story Case:
After a long time of entanglement, Ye Zi finally gave birth to the second eldest, and originally thought that she would be a fair mother. However, on the way to parenting, she found that the second eldest was smarter, belonged to the typical "high emotional intelligence", whether doing things or talking, obviously more pleasing to herself.
Saying good fairness is also unconsciously biased towards the second oldest. Looking at the increasingly silent boss, Ye Zi realized the seriousness of the problem and communicated with the second-born mother next to him. As a result, everyone seems to have such a problem, not that they do not like the boss, nor are they eccentric, but they will be "impressed" by the second boss and unconsciously biased towards her.
In fact, parents also know that unconscious eccentric behavior will cause psychological harm to the boss, and it is not too good for the growth of the second, so they are intentionally correcting. However, parents want to know why there is such a huge difference in the "IQ" and "emotional intelligence" of two children in a two-child family.
The second child is smarter, mainly because of the parents
1, the mentality is different
When I first became pregnant, my new mother was surprised, but she was frightened by a loss, so she was extra serious. No matter what you do, you will put your child first and focus on their ideas. It really responds to the saying "scarce things are precious", because there is only one child, and the parents have different mentalities in education, and all the energy and time are spent on them.
However, after getting pregnant with the second eldest, the parents have experience, from the process of pregnancy to the later stage of parenting, they are all familiar with it. And summed up a lot of small experience in parenting, just can be used on the second elder, is completely "to promote the strengths and avoid the weaknesses", so the second to enjoy a better education, naturally more intelligent.
2, the mood is different
In the process of raising the boss, parents are cautious throughout the process, afraid that they have no experience and cause some harm to their children. Even small things like eating will pay attention to the whole process, not to mention wrestling and bumping. But when it came to the second eldest, the parents seemed to realize that too much attention was not a good thing, and there was no tension and caution before.
The second eldest grew up in a relatively enlightened environment, he has more freedom, all the things he wants to do, has the time and opportunity to try, and has accumulated more experience. Relatively speaking, the second eldest has rich practical experience and is also reprehensible.
3, too much protection
For the first child in life, parents will be extra protective, always thinking of giving them the best love in the world and the richest materials. But later parents found that the more children who grew up in protection, the more they could not withstand the rain and wind. So when it comes to the second eldest, the parents will adjust the education model and no longer give them protection.
"The eldest is raised according to the book, and the second is raised as a pig", this sentence is a true portrayal of many parents of the second child. When they educate the second eldest, they will make a lot of rules, no longer maintain patience as before, and will not use the way of coaxing. In this way, the second brother has mastered more rules of survival, how can he not be smart?
It's very simple to say:
When pregnant with the elderly, no matter when, they will first check the Internet to see if it is harmful to the health of the child; but when pregnant with the second, what food to eat is determined by the mood of the mood;
When I was pregnant with my eldest, I always wanted to collect better food, toys, etc. for my children; when I was pregnant with my second, the clothes and toys left over from other people's homes were also excellent;
When pregnant with the elderly, even if it is a slight cough, it will think of taking the child to the doctor; when the second pregnant, the fever of 39 ° will also think of observing first.
It is precisely because of the difference from the beginning of pregnancy to the parenting process that there is a world of difference between the two children. Different parenting styles, different learning objects, different family conditions, and different parental mentalities are all the reasons for the gap between the two children.
Tips for parents of two-child families:
There are two treasures in the family, rationality is a happy thing, don't let "eccentricity" ruin your child's life. You can't deny the fact that the second boss is smart, but you can't ignore the fact that the boss is strong and hardworking. In life, try to be equal, only enough fairness and understanding, in order to let the two children progress together.
At the same time, parents should guide two children to love each other, and there must be no contradictions. In addition to parents, brothers and sisters are the closest people in the world, and they must learn to help and understand each other from an early age. In life, parents should take each child seriously, find the shining points in them, and distinguish between education and treatment.
At any time, don't have the idea that "the boss should take care of the second". For Dabao, they are just children, and they also have the freedom to make mistakes, be naughty and make trouble. Originally, because of the birth of his younger siblings, they had already had some imbalance in their hearts, and if their parents forced Dabao to grow up at this time, his heart would be even more sad.
summary
Of all the two-child families, the second child may be smarter, but this does not affect the feelings between the hands and siblings. As a parent, learning to "teach according to aptitude" and giving appropriate education to the different personalities of children is the key.