Wen | a good pregnant sister
Are you a stay-at-home mom?
In the public impression, the term full-time mother is often associated with pejorative words, what is "not independent enough", "relying on men", "dragging the hind legs of equal rights women", a big hat buckled up, but is this really the case? Do the women who choose to stay with their children and surround the big rear full-time really choose to escape? An old man I know has something to say about this.
"I don't think stay-at-home moms are weak, on the contrary, I don't think it's easy for women who can be stay-at-home moms."
Among the older generation I know, Mrs. Zhao is the most respected teacher among young people, she has been teaching for more than thirty years, she has just retired from the teaching position, her thinking is flexible and not losing to young people, once, when discussing similar topics, I could not help but show my dissatisfaction with the identity of full-time mothers, and she immediately stopped me.
As a career-oriented woman, she does not think that it is wrong for full-time mothers to teach their children, let alone that it is dependent on men's behavior, and she said the true meaning of marriage in one sentence, which is very scientific.
Is survival a war: intelligence, or emotional intelligence?
"In this world, women live their lives by two things, intelligence and emotional intelligence. Career-oriented women rely on intelligence and men to grab the world, and full-time mothers rely on emotional intelligence to let men fight for her, and the essence is all on their own. ”
Mrs. Zhao said in a serious tone, many working mothers look down on full-time wives, but forget that not all women are good at fighting in the workplace, and work ability is not the standard for evaluating a person, for women with high emotional intelligence, letting men fight for her is a simpler way, especially after entering marriage.
"To make men willing to struggle and work hard to make money is also a manifestation of women's ability."
Mrs. Zhao's words silenced me for a long time, in my view, women do not work is escaping reality, but forget that not all women have the ability to have the opportunity not to work. Modern life is stressful, most men will urge their wives to go out to work, and it is indeed not simple to be able to become a full-time wife.
Marriage is not a battlefield: the ability to create happiness is paramount
"I don't know if you find that women who can be full-time wives mostly have the ability to create happiness." 」
Mrs. Zhao said that the happiest marriage among her friends is a full-time wife, who has not worked for more than sixty years, and is certainly incompetent according to social values, but the other party's wife regards her as a pearl in the palm of her hand, and when she is young, she goes home after work, and when she is old, she does not like to go out, and she dances waltzes with her wife all day at home. In Mrs. Zhao's view, her friend was far happier than herself.
"A full-time wife is not something that anyone can be. Some women have become resentful wives in front of them, it is best to come out to work, and some women have turned the family into a warm harbor, the children like it, the husband depends on it, and the meaning of the full-time mother for the whole family is not something that money can consider. ”
After listening to the old man's words, I can't help but be ashamed of my own narrowness, career women are not easy, full-time mothers are as bad, two choices, two abilities, there is no need to blame each other. What do you think about that?
Senior nursery teacher, psychological counselor, author of original parenting comic articles, welcome to pay attention to [good pregnancy], you want to know about scientific parenting, maternity care, baby health, child growth and development, you can find the answer here!