Today, I saw a parent leave a message like this: "Children don't love to learn, saying that learning is very tired, and ask me why I want to study?" It was the adults who let him go to elementary school, and he didn't want to go to school! ”
Many children don't like to learn, don't know why to learn, but others go to school and go to school themselves, everyone is like this, it seems that there is no reason, then naturally there is no special motivation to learn.
So many children do not want to learn, do not love to learn, is not to learn, parents look in the eyes of the anxious, although the truth is said a lot, but there is no use; scolding also scolded, roared, and even beaten, but children not only did not study well, but hate learning more.
In the end, the root cause is that children do not have the motivation to learn! If the child himself does not know why to learn, if the child is not strong in learning, then it is useless for you to reason with him and yell at him again.
Therefore, if you want your child to fall in love with learning, you must first help him solve his inner problems.
01
In fact, we as parents do not know why to tell the child why to learn, and why did not encourage the child to give him motivation, but most of us have walked into the misunderstanding, think about the following kind of words we have said to the child how many times:
Tell me about you, me and your dad work so hard to earn money, not for you, don't you study well to be worthy of us?
Son, our family depends on you, you study hard now, and you can get ahead in the future!
Child, you study hard now, you can go to a good university in the future, you can have a good job after graduation, and you can earn a lot of money! When that's when you want to buy what you want to buy, buy what.
Want to hang out again? Get back to the book!
If you do what you do, you can't study well, don't listen to the old man, suffer losses in front of you, and you will regret it later!
……
We have said many, many such words, but the children's ears hear the cocoon seems to be useless, not only did not fall in love with learning, but more and more hate learning.
It is only because our reasoning and encouragement are not from the child's point of view, the future is too far, the child has no feelings; the ideal is too easy to say, it becomes just talking; your hard work and hope have become the pressure of the child.
Everything has little to do with the child's eyes, everything has become forcing the child to learn, which is not motivating the child.
02
Children who are forced to learn will definitely not learn well, and will hate learning more and more; but children who love learning are different:
Friend Lao Zhang's son was admitted to Peking University this year, his own education is not high (secondary school graduates), asked him what secret he had, he just smiled and said: "There is no secret, that is, let him like to study and learn!" ”
He did this, when his son was young, he often told his children good stories, and every time the children listened to them, they were fascinated, pestering him to tell one after another, and then the son asked him: "Daddy, how do you know so many stories!" ”
He told the children that they all read in books, and there were many, many stories in the books! So children learn to look up dictionaries very early, just to read more books and stories.
When the son asked him why arithmetic was so good, why his writing was so beautiful, why he knew that the sky was blue, why he understood so much... Lao Zhang always replied that this was his father's school in the book.
Therefore, children like to read books from an early age, because there are many interesting things in books and many skills. And Lao Zhang also said to the child: "There is too much knowledge in the book, and Dad has only learned a little, and what new things you learn in school must be told to Dad!" ”
So the child not only likes to read and learn, but also likes to tell his father, and every time he tells his father something new, he is very happy and has a sense of accomplishment. He has always been so active in studying, so he was finally admitted to Peking University.
The motivation of this child to learn is only because of his father's words: "This is dad's school in the book!" "So since I was a child, I have fallen in love with reading and learning, and I have fallen in love with discovering and exploring in the ocean of knowledge."
03
Children who love to learn are envied and desired, and we all want our children to be like this. So how do you make your child fall in love with learning?
Don't blame, give your child something practical
How to yell does not work, then stop blaming, reasoning about the future is too far away from the child, there is no personal feeling. It is better to have something practical, to eat, drink and play.
Today you can memorize this text, and your mother will reward you with a toy you have always wanted (or a comic book, a little pocket money...). If you can recite it when the teacher mentions it in class, there is a reward.
This is not to use rewards to let children learn, but to use rewards to make children move and make progress first.
A sense of accomplishment, children love that feeling
When the child really memorizes it in advance and recites it in the classroom; then parents can ask the child how he feels, is he proud and very accomplished?
Do you like this feeling, I just worked hard a little, not only completed the task in advance, but also got the reward, and the mother is no longer urging, the teacher is no longer criticized, even the students are very surprised!
Let the child make progress first, see and encourage the child's progress, let the child experience the joy of achievement and progress, the child will like this feeling.
Start with small progress, let the child adapt to such efforts, and then turn into big progress.
Talk about growth, don't talk about ideals for your children
Don't talk about ideals, because ideals are still too far away for children, too far away and empty things can not give children much motivation.
Pay more attention to the growth of children, with the effort of the previous step, the child's progress will be more, small progress will become big progress, small growth will become a big change.
Parents should pay close attention to their children's growth and give praise, rewards and encouragement.
The child does not drag the homework, the child will prepare the homework in advance, the child dares to raise his hand to speak in the classroom, and the child advances a few times in this exam... These are real growth, all are the joy of the child, do not only focus on the child's inadequacies.
When children have these transformations, they will aspire to greater progress, and then parents can set small goals with their children! The road to learning has officially begun.
At different stages, children have different learning motivations, perhaps starting out just for a delicious meal, a toy, but then it will become the joy of being praised, it will become a sense of accomplishment recognized by parents and teachers, and then it will become the joy of growth, and there will be more inner desires.
The road to learning is very long, we can not always manage, urge children to learn and progress, as soon as possible to cultivate children's internal learning motivation, let him fall in love with learning, is the source of children's continuous growth and progress.